When my brothers and I were kids and teens we all swore we should do like the church's do and make a stall and preach about joining our church but instead of for Jesus and God we would preach Church of Satan lol.
We said we would have a severed head of a goat on a silver platter and black satin with squiggly suspicious symbols. We be handing out pamphlets that were solid black with read writing but it look all pretty lol
We say: Church of Satan, come see us at Church of Satan.
Beelzebub loves you more.
We have more holidays you can use to get out of work with.
Satan Grant's wishes.
God claims he owns your soul Satan is willing to trade you cash.
We meet during work hours on a Monday so you can get the day off.
Lmmfao
We had a whole speech and more lines to get people to join.
My brothers laugh that I am now a Sunday school teacher lmfao.
But I think God knew we were joking lol
Southern Baptist.
But trust me we have no relation to those asshats the Westboro Baptist church.
My family was all southern Baptist and when I met my husband turned out he was as well.
Lol it was funny the day he was taking me to his grandfather's church (he is a preacher in the church I teach in) my husband said listen I don't care what religion you are I love you but just tell my grandpa you are Baptist.
I said but I am Baptist.
He blinked and said o well tell him you are SOUTHERN Baptist.
I said BABE I am from Texas. All Baptist in Texas are Southern Baptist.
He said WAIT YOU REALLY ARE???
I said yeah don't you remember I told you the day we met online.
He said shit lol nvm than lol
Westburo Babtist are evil ass hats. Going to funerals and putting their hate and misery on to people already mourning . Telling people that a,fallen soldier is hated by God and going to hell is deserving of a phosphorous grenade thrown into their group.
But THOSE people are true Christians. They don't follow the teaching of Christ. Christ said he came to bring a new law to be held above all others LOVE OTHERS AS I'VE LOVED YOU, as in without condition or judgement. WB don't love, they hate. He also said Judge not, and they SURE judge.
We said we would have a severed head of a goat on a silver platter and black satin with squiggly suspicious symbols. We be handing out pamphlets that were solid black with read writing but it look all pretty lol
We say: Church of Satan, come see us at Church of Satan.
Beelzebub loves you more.
We have more holidays you can use to get out of work with.
Satan Grant's wishes.
God claims he owns your soul Satan is willing to trade you cash.
We meet during work hours on a Monday so you can get the day off.
Lmmfao
We had a whole speech and more lines to get people to join.
My brothers laugh that I am now a Sunday school teacher lmfao.
But I think God knew we were joking lol
But trust me we have no relation to those asshats the Westboro Baptist church.
My family was all southern Baptist and when I met my husband turned out he was as well.
Lol it was funny the day he was taking me to his grandfather's church (he is a preacher in the church I teach in) my husband said listen I don't care what religion you are I love you but just tell my grandpa you are Baptist.
I said but I am Baptist.
He blinked and said o well tell him you are SOUTHERN Baptist.
I said BABE I am from Texas. All Baptist in Texas are Southern Baptist.
He said WAIT YOU REALLY ARE???
I said yeah don't you remember I told you the day we met online.
He said shit lol nvm than lol