''Ooh la la! Senorita! Si! Si! You will love this one. I insist. The last person that used my lotion glowed like the moon. Her ex-husband came back to her and she finally got pregnant after 57 years of chronic loneliness. Trust me, mi chica, you will never regret using this wonder-maker lotion. Only 999.29 but for you, 998.29''
''No! No! Mi chica! We don't want that! Ptooey! I have an ex -repellent lotion for you. It makes them fall sick and die if you want. It's also packed with necessary vitamins to make you shine like the Sun. I even know a doctor who will tie your tubes for $200. The lotion will make sure your current partner marries you. I have one for him that scares off side-chicas. Your white fur is a mess. Would you like some fur bleach too?''
''Ooh! I see you're interested. The fur bleach comes with free dye and moisturizer. Mi chica, I couldn't help but notice the dark circles under your eyes. If you buy $700 worth of products from me, you win a free massage. Did I also mention that I have a Ph.D in massage science? My massage not only gets rid of stress, but it also heals the body, soul, and spirit. Mi chica, you will leap above mountains. Mi chica, you will be as flexible as a millipede. What do you say, bonita?''
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