The final boss

No thanks, I definitely do not want my ex back, and I definitely do not want children. I prefer my current partner wayyyyyyy more. Adios, nightmares.

''No! No! Mi chica! We don't want that! Ptooey! I have an ex -repellent lotion for you. It makes them fall sick and die if you want. It's also packed with necessary vitamins to make you shine like the Sun. I even know a doctor who will tie your tubes for $200. The lotion will make sure your current partner marries you. I have one for him that scares off side-chicas. Your white fur is a mess. Would you like some fur bleach too?''

Hmm... Keep talking?

''Ooh! I see you're interested. The fur bleach comes with free dye and moisturizer. Mi chica, I couldn't help but notice the dark circles under your eyes. If you buy $700 worth of products from me, you win a free massage. Did I also mention that I have a Ph.D in massage science? My massage not only gets rid of stress, but it also heals the body, soul, and spirit. Mi chica, you will leap above mountains. Mi chica, you will be as flexible as a millipede. What do you say, bonita?''

You dare say that Shrek isn’t already hot?

Wait wat