I will attempt to shed some light on this mystery. Older folks tended to be raised in ways that
1. Said that it was not ok for ESPECIALLY men to show “soft” emotions like overt love or fondness etc. and 2. Many boomers learned an odd type of humility. You aren’t supposed to say your job is awesome or your house or whatever. Instead of saying “My child made it to the all state championship!” They say: “Damnit. I have to drive aaaalll the way to the capital this weekend because my kid has this silly all state championship game. Sometimes I wish I never got them started in the sport...”
So likewise- a man would show his affection for his friends by ribbing them, giving them a hard time, etc. as opposed to telling them how much he loves them or how special they are to him. Instead of saying they’re excited to go fishing with Dave they might say “I gotta get up at 3am because stupid Dave have this dumb idea that’s the best time to catch fish....”
I’m not excusing the behavior or condoning it. I’m just saying for anyone who is curious- it’s common for people of older generations to be repressed in their ability to express emotions, and so they often show affection is ways that seem mean like pranks or insults or complaining about a person or thing that they like. It lets them talk about that thing without seeming or feeling vulnerable.
Many older people were not raised to have emotional awareness or to be self introspective or take self inventory. They can be uncomfortable with complex emotion and how to express it. It’s an immaturity- like little kids teasing or pulling each other’s hair when they have a crush.
@sunflowers- lol. No worries. And like I said- I’m not condoning it, just figured that for some people they might not be aware of why such behavior is so common in older folk. Being raised in another time isn’t an excuse to not adapt though. It might take practice and effort, but just because a person grew up emotionally repressed doesn’t mean they can’t recognize it is unhealthy and learn to express emotions in a healthy way.
Me and my husband say that stuff about each other and in front of each other lol. Like one day at the grocery store the cash register woman asked my husband if he wanted bags. (they cost about 10 cents a bag here in California) He said Nope I want to make it extremely difficult on my wife to put the groceries up because it's her turn and than he laughed. I said very funny. So as we were leaving I said to the woman jokes on him it's actually his turn.
Truth is we do it together lol. Well unless one is hurt or sick of course.
1. Said that it was not ok for ESPECIALLY men to show “soft” emotions like overt love or fondness etc. and 2. Many boomers learned an odd type of humility. You aren’t supposed to say your job is awesome or your house or whatever. Instead of saying “My child made it to the all state championship!” They say: “Damnit. I have to drive aaaalll the way to the capital this weekend because my kid has this silly all state championship game. Sometimes I wish I never got them started in the sport...”
(But in all seriousness, I think you're right. You just totally set me up for that one.)
Truth is we do it together lol. Well unless one is hurt or sick of course.