Consent is consent, coercion is coercion. That’s true regardless of gender. However- before we are quick to label this some type of hypocrisy we need to zoom out a bit. The sexual satisfaction and sexual expression of women in our society has traditionally been put asides by force or disinterest. Now- generalizing here as each human being and their circumstances are not the same- but...
There are fundamental differences in the challenges being faced (in general) by men and women- especially when it comes to sex. There isn’t the same focus on a woman’s enjoyment of sex or gratification in society. From port to movies to fashion to science and medicine and more. Women have also classically been denied expression of their sexuality and faced stigma and reprisals for it men have not. So there is certainly a cultural leaning towards the idea that a woman asking for gratification deserves to achieve that.
Conversely- men on the whole will ask for gratification more often in more ways sexually and as a statistical reality- thusly be granted it more often. It is generally easier to please a random man than random woman for example- so the instance of men able to find satisfying sexual partners is going to be higher than the percent of women able to do the same.
Now there IS an underlying gender issue here. Men are seen as essentially always wanting sex- men are expected to “step up” or “man up” and the sentiment that a man be expected to “suck up” his discomfort at his partners kink is an example of that. The fact that his expressing a desire to not have sex makes him defective or deficient as a partner.
This isn’t exactly “sexism” so much as it is a gender role in society. We CAN change that. We can change what “being a man” is “supposed to be”- but it’s not easy. It requires being an advocate and living that example. Just as early women deemed too “assertive” or “not feminine enough”- hell... modern women- face push back and negative reception, you have to live your truth even when society makes that hard.
That might make it hard to find a partner willing to put up with a man who is more demure, more passive, less sexually aggressive of who expresses emotions more openly and often across a broader range. It may mean... less sex for you. But- that’s the stereotype right? I mean- if you have a problem with it prove it wrong. Be an advocate.
No matter if you're a boy or a girl if your partner says they will find someone else to do their fetish with if you refuse than you need to think do you want to spebd the rest of your life with this person because if not tell them than go do it because I am done.
And if you want to stay with them than you need to decide if you are going to either:
1. Do the fetish.
2. Have an open relationship so they can go have their fun and you don't have to do it by stay with the.
3. Tell them you will not do the fetish and if they CANNOT find someone to do it with. They will just have to live with out the fetish.
As an Asexual I had to come with terms with this choice myself. If I marry someone who isn't Asexual as well I will have to have sex or have an open relationship. I choose have sex. Because I won't be in a relationship that lets the other find comfort in someone else's arms. But I am not you it is something you must decide on your own.
And if you want to stay with them than you need to decide if you are going to either:
1. Do the fetish.
2. Have an open relationship so they can go have their fun and you don't have to do it by stay with the.
3. Tell them you will not do the fetish and if they CANNOT find someone to do it with. They will just have to live with out the fetish.
As an Asexual I had to come with terms with this choice myself. If I marry someone who isn't Asexual as well I will have to have sex or have an open relationship. I choose have sex. Because I won't be in a relationship that lets the other find comfort in someone else's arms. But I am not you it is something you must decide on your own.