I am not even mad

You know- I’m with you on this. There was a guy who didn’t show up for work for some number of decades. His work just kept paying him. They realized it was like his 30 year anniversary or something and went to throw him a party. No one could find him. They asked the guy who’d been in the office across from his for like a decade plus and the guy said he thought the office was empty and never saw the guy. That’s how he got caught. He got a criminal case and had to pay back the money.

I don’t think that’s right. I feel like if you don’t even realize you’re paying someone who doesn’t do anything- that’s on you- unless they’re some sort of “passive” measure- like a firefighter- where they could theoretically never show up for work and no one would notice unless there was a fire and then them not being there ends in catastrophe. But honestly- we have so much “disguised unemployment” and sweet heart jobs... I knew a guy who’s job was world wide. He’d just take a plane to China, UK, etc and stay for a week or two for the hell of it. They never noticed. In his case he got so bored he quit after the novelty wore off. But the point is so many people show up to work and do nothing anyway- we don’t arrest them or fine them. At least from the sound of it this guy was at least working even if he kept getting hired for “dishonest reasons.”

And hell- what’s the difference between hacking a spreadsheet and having an uncle or father or family friend who keeps getting you hired or keeps you from getting fired or gets you promotions you don’t deserve? Do people just think it’s a coincidence that rich and powerful families tend to have kids in sweetheart jobs inside their own companies or in industries that they have pull in? That children of Alumni and endowments get into top schools? All those celebrities in that admissions bribe scandal and how many went to jail for any duration? If you’re rich and you “cheat” the system it’s a slap on the wrist. If you’re not and you try to cheat to get rich or get by you’re a danger to society. How’s that work?

lol. If only. It’s 2020 and the amount of things that run off a spreadsheet is pretty chilling. Actually- in a sense most major modern technology could be said to “run off a spreadsheet” in simple terms. A database is essentially a series of linked “spreadsheets” and “machine learning” boils down to a bunch of spreadsheets.

Oh, I’m acutely aware of how much business process is squirreled away in spreadsheets but in the days of HR SaaS like Workday and ZenBenefits an organization large enough that they wouldn’t notice the same person was getting rehired over and over has no excuse to not do it well.

Oh I agree. In the end- some human being has to be involved in that process- and for no one to notice... well... if you don’t notice you’re paying someone you didn’t hire then what’s the difference?