The more I rewatch the show, the more I realize how screwed up a person he was. And, of course, Rachel, who for some reason is only attracted for guys when they're trying to move on from her/with someone else.
.
And there's no real reason for either of them to be screwed up in the way that they are about the things that they are most of the time
And just to keep in in perspective, I mean, Phoebe's:
-dad abandoned the family
-her twin bullied her (and used her name to make porn, and tried to convince Phoebe to make porn with her, AND fucked a guy phoebe was dating while pretending to be phoebe)
-her mom committed suicide (after remarrying a bunch of times apparently and telling her sex will get her love)
-phoebe herself lived on the street where she mugged people/was propositioned/had a pimp spit in her mouth/learned French behind a dumpster/
-Her real birth mother lied to her at first, and then revealed that she'd been in a polyamorous relationship with Phoebe's father and OTHER mother
-Her half brother thought she was a prostitute, married a much older woman (and probably fucked her on Phoebe's couch and purse) and then Phoebe carried and gave birth to her brother's triplets
-she married a gay guy to give him a Greencard and resigned herself to him not being a possibility because he was gay, only to learn he'd been straight all along and just didn't want her
-the first real love of her life moved to russia
-the parents of the second love of her life didn't like her, fed her meat, and she threw up in their coat closet
-her best friend's boyfriend groped her (and then her friend invited him BACK into their lives where he groped Phoebe again)
.
And that's literally just a start. And somehow despite all of this she is still better adjusted, less petty, and seems to have a somewhat healthier attitude toward relationships than either Ross or Rachel
Yeah.... statistically speaking, in committed heterosexual relationships it is often the male partner that wants a threesome- but female partners are more likely to want to continue threesomes whereas male partners are actually more likely to be less amicable to more regular threesomes. Successful threesomes actually require a strong relationship and the right people and mindsets to bring into a committed relationship. Most people I generally advise against it as it often causes more problems for those just looking for a thrill or a bucket list item than good- let’s say “complications” instead of problems.
It can be anything from the way a partner responds to another person, a sound they make with them that they don’t with you- seeming to spend more time or attention on one person over another, or any number of things that can trigger jealousy or insecurity if one has those things (and may not know until they are there.) Feelings can form between people through even “casual sex” and as mentioned- one partner may really like it and feel they don’t want to “go back” while the other may not. It’s certainly often the case it is a lot more effort to be involved in a threesome everyone can be satisfied with.
To many the IDEA is more fun than the reality, and for many their image of a threesome is one where the other partners are just there to gratify them- this can be extra problematic if one or more of the other partners have the same idea.
I’m not saying don’t do it. Lots of people love threesomes. Many people successfully incorporate them into strong and lasting, even otherwise monogamous, relationships. I’m saying that the door to the unknown leads to.. the unknown. You never know how a partner will react to a threesome- or even the idea of one- and if you have a good relationship you have to understand that you are introducing a change that could potentially take the relationship places you don’t want it to go. In general, strong communication, working your way up and testing boundaries slowly instead of crashing trough them, and being open and honest and discussing things and feelings on the way is very helpful.
I’ve known many people who have either had threesomes on a lark or as a part of their regular sex lives and seen it go very well for all involved- and very poorly. While Ross’s situation was meant as a joke- things like that can happen. The more sexually repressed a person is- the more likely it is that new experiences can have huge changes on who they are or their sexuality. Cliche perhaps but that’s what a “sexual awakening” is- when you suddenly have your eyes opened to possibilities and generally will seek to explore them. Most well adjusted people get this out of the way in their youth and have a good idea of their sexual selves before a serious commitment, but even the most seasoned folks tastes can change over time. Have fun, be safe, and pace things in the bedroom. No need to jump into whips and chains before you’ve spanked them with your hand or used a silk tie and found you both liked it.
.
And there's no real reason for either of them to be screwed up in the way that they are about the things that they are most of the time
-dad abandoned the family
-her twin bullied her (and used her name to make porn, and tried to convince Phoebe to make porn with her, AND fucked a guy phoebe was dating while pretending to be phoebe)
-her mom committed suicide (after remarrying a bunch of times apparently and telling her sex will get her love)
-phoebe herself lived on the street where she mugged people/was propositioned/had a pimp spit in her mouth/learned French behind a dumpster/
-Her real birth mother lied to her at first, and then revealed that she'd been in a polyamorous relationship with Phoebe's father and OTHER mother
-Her half brother thought she was a prostitute, married a much older woman (and probably fucked her on Phoebe's couch and purse) and then Phoebe carried and gave birth to her brother's triplets
-the first real love of her life moved to russia
-the parents of the second love of her life didn't like her, fed her meat, and she threw up in their coat closet
-her best friend's boyfriend groped her (and then her friend invited him BACK into their lives where he groped Phoebe again)
.
And that's literally just a start. And somehow despite all of this she is still better adjusted, less petty, and seems to have a somewhat healthier attitude toward relationships than either Ross or Rachel