Why have a wedding at all? Why not go to City Hall?
Why even have a honeymoon? You can use that money for a down payment on a house.
Why spend money at all when you can sit in a hole and eat bugs you find in each other's hair? Nothing is more romantic than eating fleas from your man's back hair.
Look some people want to have a celebration with their family and friends.
I had to have a small wedding and I mean small. It had my husband's grandfather as our preacher and his wife, the church piano player, and my in-laws with their dates. I also placed a spot for my grandmothers and grandfather who passed away. That was it. My family was 2 states away my wedding cost us 40 dollars and that was the license. We were gifted as our wedding gifts 2 cakes one from each his parents and a pair of rings hand made that didn't fit either of us.
Would I marry my husband again? Hell yes. Would I marry him the same way? You lost your damn mind if you think the answer is yes and he agrees with me.
And as of our honeymoon it was us at home. My parents offered to send us money for a hotel we said save it for when we move near them so we can have a real wedding. 1 yr later instead of a wedding we had a baby shower.
My family threw a large party all the women in the family came and gave gifts AND brought food.
I wish my wedding was like that baby shower. Filled with family.
I tend to agree with you. One thing to consider is some people have the money to have a wedding they want and a honeymoon they want and get a house. We tend to look at things as what other people are doing- aspirational people- and want to copy that but really the practical question isn’t what others are doing but what can you afford/budget to do? If you can’t afford it all- yeah. Prioritize and compromise. But you hit the nail on the head where this whole “screw weddings” things goes wrong.
A wedding is just a big party. It’s an excuse to get people together you love but maybe can’t see except on very special occasions. The friend who can’t afford to come visit you often will likely find a way to your wedding. The aunt who has health problems and doesn’t get out much will probably find a way to make it. Weddings are just big parties and they really aren’t so much for the bride and groom but for the guests- to celebrate and join in some of the happiness two people have found together. Basically you’re just deciding to throw all your friends a party- and you don’t have to have a wedding but you also don’t HAVE to be tired and miss it all. There are social pressures to host and all that- but it is YOUR party so you can do whatever you want.
Yeah. There are “wiser” ways to use money- but Its about priorities no? Weddings are like funerals. It’s not REALLY about you- you’re why people are there- but it’s about the guests and their emotions more. Beyond ego or social obligation or status- a wedding is a party where people who like you show up because you like someone else and that’s makes them happy. The value you get depends on your priorities. YOU might have more fun on a vacation than in a crowded room full of (supposedly) friends and family you love. It’s all individual. There are “smarter” ways to spend money- you don’t need and shouldnt feel pressured to have some grand affair or a wedding. It comes down to you and your priorities- and if you want a wedding and can afford it- go nuts. I’d recommend not taking on a huge debt or spending a big sum if you don’t have a home and security- and the same goes for the ring- but to each their own.
I'm not a fan of big parties. I don't like crowds, loud noises or busy-ness, and that much sums up a party.
That said, I still think that people should do what makes them happy. If they will happily look back on a huge wedding for the rest of their lives and cherish the memories of all their loved ones and friends coming together to celebrate, then why not?
I hope most of all that how you spend your money and time is in a way that makes you truly happy. That's most important.
Why even have a honeymoon? You can use that money for a down payment on a house.
Why spend money at all when you can sit in a hole and eat bugs you find in each other's hair? Nothing is more romantic than eating fleas from your man's back hair.
Look some people want to have a celebration with their family and friends.
I had to have a small wedding and I mean small. It had my husband's grandfather as our preacher and his wife, the church piano player, and my in-laws with their dates. I also placed a spot for my grandmothers and grandfather who passed away. That was it. My family was 2 states away my wedding cost us 40 dollars and that was the license. We were gifted as our wedding gifts 2 cakes one from each his parents and a pair of rings hand made that didn't fit either of us.
Would I marry my husband again? Hell yes. Would I marry him the same way? You lost your damn mind if you think the answer is yes and he agrees with me.
My family threw a large party all the women in the family came and gave gifts AND brought food.
I wish my wedding was like that baby shower. Filled with family.
That said, I still think that people should do what makes them happy. If they will happily look back on a huge wedding for the rest of their lives and cherish the memories of all their loved ones and friends coming together to celebrate, then why not?
I hope most of all that how you spend your money and time is in a way that makes you truly happy. That's most important.