Survival of the fittest

I have a spare hand. May I help pet?

I do this thing where I pet two with one hand using my thumb and pinky

May I suggest you use your face? I do that sometimes with my cat and it feels like diving into a cloud.

I would but then I'll die from not being able to breathe or see

I understand your concern but it would be a very nice way to die.

I would do that but they like getting scratched hard which I can’t really do with my face. But I do occasionally lie on them like a pillow and smell them cause I love how cats smell like soft toys. Don’t worry they are chonky and like making little cat piles with me