Or.... alternate theory.... instead of making it about money or some transactional game where we are keeping score.... learn what your partner values. Some men or women LIKE paying for thins for their partner. In their view of self or relationship- they see that as their role, or it makes them feel good- or... what you’d call an expensive pair of shoes cost as much as their socks- and what you think is a “nice” suit... to them... is the price of a single tie or less than a jacket costs- so there’s that too. Throwing money around when you have money isn’t caring for someone- and throwing t around when you don’t isn’t either- and is pretty foolish.
So how about instead you learn what they value, learn what it is that you have to give that they appreciate most- and learn the things that make your partner feel comfortable and appreciated. I do not like when friends or partners buy me “nice things” most of the time. Too many issues with it and potential problems. I prefer other ways to show love- and I appreciate small gestures that show a person understands or appreciates me and my time. You have to understand people value things differently. And of course- people love in different ways. Not everyone will love us the way we want or think love looks like- but that doesn’t mean they aren’t loving us the best and most they know how.
That’s a really important point (about what your partner values). It took me entirely too long to realize that my partner values handmade gifts. I’m a practical gift sort of person, so I like things that need or serve a function in my life. And I certainly blessed my partner with way too many practical gifts before realizing that partner values hand made.
Lol it took me awhile to realize it too. My partner is a “practical giver” actually- and I prefer to give and receive sentimental or “fun” presents. Things a person would never buy themselves most likely. But it’s a two way street. When my partner buys me some type of practical gift- I just remind myself that is how they show love.
We do the same