It's really a nice place to live if you don't mind the dead animals, p*rn, and appliances

Oh no they’re playing it straight and I’m terrified

Powdery chunks is most likely piles of ash. I have it in my front yard when we clean out the fireplace

They really do sounds like they live in Nightvale but a lot of that stuff seems to happen if you live next to a wood or on a farm, had a lot of similar experiences as a kid but the dead body in a bag is...interesting.

The bathtub thing sounds like the forest near my house lol, full of crashed cars

at least the sheep don't bite, the rest i can live with

I lived in an affluent British village, and on the greenbelt areas (national trust protected), me and my friends used to find burned out cars, where joyriders had stolen a car, got bored and burned it out to stop it being detected.
The trees never caught fire or anything, just started growing away from where the fires started.