For the record all of these are allegedly real stories of male abuse survivors at the hands of women. Mothers or lovers mostly. And most of them are much more horrific than what is shown here.
It may be hard to read on mobile so here (Trigger warning for anyone scrolling through my comments):
`
"My father broke down in despair to us, his children, and lamented " What am I going to do..?"
`
"When she's punched herself out, I went to the bathroom to get cleaned up. My blood was spattered up the wall."
`
"She threatened to get an abortion."
`
"I called the police on her... but they arrested me."
`
"She would come into the bedroom with a knife and tell me when I went to sleep she would come in and slit my throat."
`
"The constant fear of when the next violent episode would rear it's ugly head was the hardest to deal with."
`
"I told my folks and co-workers that I had fallen on some ice and that I would be okay."
`
"I said 'please stop.' But she didn't. I just laid there. I hoped it would be over soon. It wasn't."
`
"They told me to 'man up'."
`
"A sergeant from the police told me 'you're a 20 year old male, I doubt your mother could attack you. Grow the F### up son.'"
(Trigger warning for anyone scrolling through my comments)
`
"I contemplated some kind of physical resistance when she climbed on top of me, but my mind immediately flashed to an imagined scene trying to explain to a police officer why I gave my girlfriend a black eye."
`
"She would gaslight me. Make me think I was losing my mind."
`
"She said 'I raped you.' I said 'yes.' Then I got up. I was hollow, ashamed. This doesn't happen to men, I thought."
`
"What do you mean?" One of the most hurtful responses was from a close male friend who dismissed me by saying "I'm sure she didn't hold you down."
`
"She'd broken me down to that point where after all those years there was nothing I could do."
`
"She came in, realized what she had done, and sat on my lap. She gave me a hug and told me she loved me, and I swear I heard my psyche just snap."
`
"I always keep evidence as men are now guilty before having the chance to be proven innocent."
(Trigger warning for anyone scrolling through my comments)
`
"maybe I could have physically stopped her if I was at full strength, I was blackout drunk at the time — I couldn’t have wrestled a hamster to the ground, let alone a grown adult."
`
"Being abused isn't just a violation of the body, but also of the mind. The mind becomes tainted and the heart becomes bitter.
This feeling is amplified by hearing the words 'Men can't be raped because they always want sex' from multiple sexist women who make up their own steroetypes against men. "
`
"He never reported either incident but I know the rape was terrifying for him and he actually had some issues as a result. There’s not much help and if he went to report it anyway, it would have been his word against hers."
`
"I only ever fought back once to stop her from hitting me (punched her in the arm), which immediately brought everything to a standstill and the “you just hit me” argument started up."
(Trigger warning for anyone scrolling through my comments)
`
"all of your physical strength becomes useless, because your attacker makes you feel powerless"
`
"Each time it happened, I thought about her past and told myself that one day she would realize I wasn't the enemy."
`
"She stabbed me in the back with a fork, so deep I had to use as much force as I could to pull it out. The doctor said the fork had just missed my spine."
`
"I was terrified that we would lose our baby, but I was equally terrified of what she would do when she found out that I had told anyone what was going on."
`
"we were all denied medical attention in some way or another. My abuser in fear that I would speak out so I learnt how to become my own dentist adapting tools in the shed to pull out my own teeth, the broken roots still in place today"
(Trigger warning for anyone scrolling through my comments)
`
As I rolled over, away from her, facing the wall,
I closed my eyes andstarted to feel tears rolling down my cheeks. More tears streamed down my face as I buried it in my pillow."
`
"I'd defend myself as best I could without ever striking back. As per usual, in the morning it's as if nothing happened. She'd avoid me so she'd not see my scars."
Honestly that was the most devastating part of reading some of these stories. It seems to take most men years to work up the courage to actually ask for help - usually from the police
`
And they're often either told to get over it, that there's nothing that can be done, or the courts(/police/their friends and family) believe the woman by default
i really don't see myself as a victim, as at any time i could have easily punch back and ended any arguments. However, I also know that I would be seen as the bad guy, i did gather evidence as defense for later use, if it was needed.
You were one of the smarter and - sadly - luckier ones in that case it sounds like.
`
As cliche as it sounds I don't like terming anyone a victim if they don't feel that way about it.
`
There's something that feels so insidious to me about someone knowing they have the ability to protect themself, but being unable to use it. Because the moment they do they know it's likely to be used to destroy them.
`
I don't know everything about your story, but from what you've said it sounds like a hell you didn't deserve. I'm glad you managed to get out of it
Thank you @xvarnah. This is a really difficult topic that still carries so much stigma and needs to be addressed more, even though it's already getting more attention than it used to.
It is a difficult topic, and honestly it's nothing short of an absolute and utter failure on the part of society that we spend more energy villainizing men than actually trying to help them
`
A common theme for a lot of the men I've encountered or read the stories of who have been abused were sucked in by women playing victims, and then exposed to the most horrifying types of abuse many of us have never even imagined. They stay far longer than they should, And they didn't know how to get out. There was nowhere to go if they did.
`
Most of them lose everything by the end. Their mental health, their self-respect, their homes, their finances, their friends, their ability to have a relationship, nearly their lives, and often their kids. Many of them don't even know if the kids are their either, but they have to fight for the chance to even SEE them, and know that their kids are being abused as well. And there's nothing they can do
I appreciate that you want to highlight the problem of womens abuse of men but International Mens Day is 19th november. Today was international womens day.
Well everyone used the last two international mens' days to bash men or condescendingly thank them for supporting *women.*
`
Don't worry though - women are featured prominently in every single quotation on this post. They haven't been left out.
`
"My father broke down in despair to us, his children, and lamented " What am I going to do..?"
`
"When she's punched herself out, I went to the bathroom to get cleaned up. My blood was spattered up the wall."
`
"She threatened to get an abortion."
`
"I called the police on her... but they arrested me."
`
"She would come into the bedroom with a knife and tell me when I went to sleep she would come in and slit my throat."
`
"The constant fear of when the next violent episode would rear it's ugly head was the hardest to deal with."
`
"I told my folks and co-workers that I had fallen on some ice and that I would be okay."
`
"I said 'please stop.' But she didn't. I just laid there. I hoped it would be over soon. It wasn't."
`
"They told me to 'man up'."
`
"A sergeant from the police told me 'you're a 20 year old male, I doubt your mother could attack you. Grow the F### up son.'"
`
"I contemplated some kind of physical resistance when she climbed on top of me, but my mind immediately flashed to an imagined scene trying to explain to a police officer why I gave my girlfriend a black eye."
`
"She would gaslight me. Make me think I was losing my mind."
`
"She said 'I raped you.' I said 'yes.' Then I got up. I was hollow, ashamed. This doesn't happen to men, I thought."
`
"What do you mean?" One of the most hurtful responses was from a close male friend who dismissed me by saying "I'm sure she didn't hold you down."
`
"She'd broken me down to that point where after all those years there was nothing I could do."
`
"She came in, realized what she had done, and sat on my lap. She gave me a hug and told me she loved me, and I swear I heard my psyche just snap."
`
"I always keep evidence as men are now guilty before having the chance to be proven innocent."
`
"maybe I could have physically stopped her if I was at full strength, I was blackout drunk at the time — I couldn’t have wrestled a hamster to the ground, let alone a grown adult."
`
"Being abused isn't just a violation of the body, but also of the mind. The mind becomes tainted and the heart becomes bitter.
This feeling is amplified by hearing the words 'Men can't be raped because they always want sex' from multiple sexist women who make up their own steroetypes against men. "
`
"He never reported either incident but I know the rape was terrifying for him and he actually had some issues as a result. There’s not much help and if he went to report it anyway, it would have been his word against hers."
`
"I only ever fought back once to stop her from hitting me (punched her in the arm), which immediately brought everything to a standstill and the “you just hit me” argument started up."
`
"all of your physical strength becomes useless, because your attacker makes you feel powerless"
`
"Each time it happened, I thought about her past and told myself that one day she would realize I wasn't the enemy."
`
"She stabbed me in the back with a fork, so deep I had to use as much force as I could to pull it out. The doctor said the fork had just missed my spine."
`
"I was terrified that we would lose our baby, but I was equally terrified of what she would do when she found out that I had told anyone what was going on."
`
"we were all denied medical attention in some way or another. My abuser in fear that I would speak out so I learnt how to become my own dentist adapting tools in the shed to pull out my own teeth, the broken roots still in place today"
`
As I rolled over, away from her, facing the wall,
I closed my eyes andstarted to feel tears rolling down my cheeks. More tears streamed down my face as I buried it in my pillow."
`
"I'd defend myself as best I could without ever striking back. As per usual, in the morning it's as if nothing happened. She'd avoid me so she'd not see my scars."
`
And they're often either told to get over it, that there's nothing that can be done, or the courts(/police/their friends and family) believe the woman by default
`
As cliche as it sounds I don't like terming anyone a victim if they don't feel that way about it.
`
There's something that feels so insidious to me about someone knowing they have the ability to protect themself, but being unable to use it. Because the moment they do they know it's likely to be used to destroy them.
`
I don't know everything about your story, but from what you've said it sounds like a hell you didn't deserve. I'm glad you managed to get out of it
`
A common theme for a lot of the men I've encountered or read the stories of who have been abused were sucked in by women playing victims, and then exposed to the most horrifying types of abuse many of us have never even imagined. They stay far longer than they should, And they didn't know how to get out. There was nowhere to go if they did.
`
Most of them lose everything by the end. Their mental health, their self-respect, their homes, their finances, their friends, their ability to have a relationship, nearly their lives, and often their kids. Many of them don't even know if the kids are their either, but they have to fight for the chance to even SEE them, and know that their kids are being abused as well. And there's nothing they can do
`
Don't worry though - women are featured prominently in every single quotation on this post. They haven't been left out.