The effect this had had on me, had affected my ability to literally even

Ton tonton tont ton tonton, n'est-çe pas?

Does it make it any better if I tell you that the second line could very well have been "ça va-ça va. Ça va ?"?
("ça va" means "I'm fine", while "ça va-ça va" is a codeword for "I'm this close to killing myself with this pencil but I am socially required to pretend my life is a field of candy")