MatthewG

matthewg


38, Male, California USA
Currently employed as ER Tech.
Proud father of 2, with a long-distance Boo.

— MatthewG Report User
HMMM 4 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
@kakaburra I had to read this 3 many times. Beat my record, if you can.
1
This lady has ben waiting to be on the kiss cam her entire life! :) 8 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
Oh,DearGod,I'mshypleasedon't.
1
Wholesome community moment 22 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
I'm skeptical for a few reasons, but hey, there's lots of bookstores and people in the world. It's not outside the realm of possibility for someone to call one, not knowing where to turn.
It's not even that hard to imagine all those people lining up to give hilarious suggestions for how to go about it.
Skydiving, with a backpack full of Jell-0 is a personal favorite of mine. Or maybe drowning in a (literal) pool of Jell-0.
I'm not sure why so many of these revolve around Jell-0...
Putin's doge 4 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
Wow.
Tremendous Putin.
Yuge Russia.
Federation, believe me.
Putin's doge 4 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
I'd *whoosh*, but Drumpf's hair might do that ghastly levitation trick again.
1
Guests say the darndest things 6 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
Kinda late to the party, honestly.
FS has a website dedicated to it.
1
When you see the machine that printed your arm 4 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
"Over-Attached Amputee"
This is how lil kids cough 5 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
TFW he accidentally nudges the wrong hole.
Ubisofts real logo 1 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
*dookiesoft
The pettiness always makes me laugh (so I made a petty meme about it) 17 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
Oh, we've DEFINITELY got our share of trumpettes.
2
The tall one is Lauren Phillips, don't know about the small one 18 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
Yeah, that conversation went nowhere.
But F me for trying to get answers, I guess.
2 steps... Yawn 5 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
For his sake, I hope not.
How to defeat Thanos 8 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
His magic doohickey rocks did.
I made this 6 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
I'd watch it with you until we created some happy little accidents (surprises) of our own. <3
1
2 steps... Yawn 5 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
Oh, she's totes going to penetrate his border wall. ;)
The tall one is Lauren Phillips, don't know about the small one 18 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
Why are you acting like you don't know that I'm the closest thing FS has to a celebrity?
1
How to defeat Thanos 8 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
3. You missed the Bromance.
4. Wrong.
The tall one is Lauren Phillips, don't know about the small one 18 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
Penis: Awake
Human: Asleep
5
I made this 6 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
@kakaburra This has the potential for Dexter levels of wonderful.
1
Movie plot explained in one news article 5 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
I'm sorry, but if you people see that I'm about to die on a scooter, you have my permission to kill me.
How to defeat Thanos 8 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
If Numbah Wun couldn't make it so, Best Captain would simply call upon his Bestie Q to deal with that pansie.
2 steps... Yawn 5 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
@kakaburra I hope he warmed up with plenty of taint stretches before attempting this.
How bad is it? 13 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
The people who believe any text above a picture?
Same here 3 comments
matthewg · 14 weeks ago
It's so much more romantic when you #humblebrag about it...
1