Is your dad a time traveller???

Why use many word, when many word maek FSer uncomportable?

I understood that reference.

I don't say this often of guests, but....you think correctly.

They were inexperienced.
They had to put their heads together in order to blow away the competition.

Calm down.
Let people enjoy foods.

Do you also work in an emergency room?

Try to picture an adult human who can maneuver an automobile through traffic, but painted lines on the ground baffle them.

Luckily the statute of Eating My Ass is set for 5 seconds, so looks like I get Mars, suckers!

This genuinely makes me sad.

That's the reason "unplanned" jokes are funny? They're universally relatable.

@kakaburra I had to read this 3 many times. Beat my record, if you can.

Oh,DearGod,I'mshypleasedon't.

I'm skeptical for a few reasons, but hey, there's lots of bookstores and people in the world. It's not outside the realm of possibility for someone to call one, not knowing where to turn.
It's not even that hard to imagine all those people lining up to give hilarious suggestions for how to go about it.
Skydiving, with a backpack full of Jell-0 is a personal favorite of mine. Or maybe drowning in a (literal) pool of Jell-0.
I'm not sure why so many of these revolve around Jell-0...