What frightens me the most is a lady mustering the courage on any of these and acting on it.
I'm not and may never be ready for that again. I mean, who the hell am I for them to throw themselves away at me like that? Surely they could do better.
I just read this to my girlfriend who is sitting next to me right now and we're both thinking about you now, and wondering how you are. Someday you're going to find someone who loves you for all the things that make you beautiful and all the things that you think don't.
That's how I feel about myself too, but I'm glad those thoughts were wrong. if I, of all people, can get a girlfriend that opposes these thoughts I'm sure you can get an significant other who opposes these thoughts for you
I used to think this was true for me for the first 22 years of my life. Then I got a gf and it all changed. But, she dumped me after 8 months bc I was "a burden" to be with bc I was too insecure. So it turns out I was right all along. Now I'm spiraling back to where I was before and it is a very dark place and I need help. She was my only friend ever and now I can't even go to her for the help I need. I am so sad. Everyday I'm starting to hate myself more and more. Sometimes I can distract myself but it comes right back. I wish that anything at all on this list was true for me bc it's all I need.
We are always here for you. Make an account so I can keep track of you.
I know how you feel. I have a friend that often overshadows me, and at school our teachers have called me by her name so many times because they don't know my name. She moved last school year, and people still think that I am her. They didn't know that I existed in the first place, and if she does something wrong I get blamed for it too. Sometimes I feel invisible, and even my friends think we are the same person. So I dyed my hair blue so people wouldn't mix us up, and they thought that my friend had done it.
That sounds a bit like my life.
I met my ex-wife in my very early 20's. We were each other's first serious relationship. We had our ups and downs. We broke up 3 times, never for more than a week or two.
What few friends I had from high school, I lost them to moving away for college, or drugs.
Fast forward a decade later. I asked her to marry me, because we were surprised by our son's conception. That's not to say I didn't love her, she was my first and ONLY love. But I saw my parents in us, and I didn't want to bring children into the life I had.
A year and 9 months later, she had to have an emergency C-section to deliver our daughter. She couldn't have anything for the pain, because though we were at the hospital earlier that day, we were told that it'd be more than 24 hours until she started to deliver, and by the time I drove us back, she was past 6cm. I pushed her to the OR, because I thought the gang of nurses were moving too slow.
I was scared to death she and my daughter were going to die. Luckily, they didn't. Shortly thereafter, everyone thought my ex was showing signs of post-partum depression. She never went and got help, and pretended everything was fine...for awhile. What problems we had began to be exacerbated. What would otherwise have been fixed easily, was insurmountable. Though I had grievances in the relationship, they were brushed off and hers were the only ones that mattered. If I didn't do this or that, she's take the kids from me. She later did.
She came home 6 months later.
I did my best to be a good husband and father. She even told me at times that one of her favorite things about me was how I was with our children. To this day, it is THE nicest thing anyone has ever said about me.
We went to marriage counseling two times over the course of a few months.
A few days before our 3rd session, I came home from my usual 12 hour ER shift to discover that she had moved out...
...and had taken all her things, the kids things (community property), and even some of MY and my parents' things (she claims someone that helped her made mistakes)
I'm not trying to one-up you, and there's more to the story. I wasn't a #1 husband every now and then. I've always tended to bottle things up, and after 13 years, she knew how to push my buttons. These days, I wonder if I'm worth loving. But the upside of accepting your have faults is that you can work to better yourself, which is what I've put my effort into.
I've heard a ton of horror stories now that I'm in this situation, and that's just from coworkers that I never see outside of work. They say that divorce brings out the worst in people, or that it brings out the "real" person. I'm focusing on not letting divorce change me for the worse, but for the better. Divorce may be a failure, but failures are what we learn from.
That said, if you need to bounce some thoughts off someone, look me up.
Trying to one up someone...... That should never be a thing. If you divorce someone, or they divorce you, or it is mutual, than it is better than staying together unhappily. People change over time, due to many different factors, and divorce can be one of them. Just don't let it interfere with going forward with life. How can it be a total failure if you have nice kids? At least they were brought into existence. I don't know much about your situation, but you seem like you'd be or are a good parent.
It can be a total failure if one of the parents tries and is successful in depriving the children of time with the other parent.
I meant I wasn't trying to one-up the original guest and his story.
P.S. Thank you for your kind words. My main goal in life is to be a great parent for my children.
Honestly, I used to think these exact things about myself till about the age of 18, I was so insecure. But once I became confident in myself and my abilities, I realised my self worth, I didn't need to have these things to feel good about myself, but all of a sudden, guys started noticing me. Now half the guys at my work have asked me out, not to boast. It's all about confidence in yourself. Guys love that, and girls.
Me too.
What frightens me the most is a lady mustering the courage on any of these and acting on it.
I'm not and may never be ready for that again. I mean, who the hell am I for them to throw themselves away at me like that? Surely they could do better.
In retrospective though, it's not like I have a stellar personality nor do I put too much effort into dressing up.
I know how you feel. I have a friend that often overshadows me, and at school our teachers have called me by her name so many times because they don't know my name. She moved last school year, and people still think that I am her. They didn't know that I existed in the first place, and if she does something wrong I get blamed for it too. Sometimes I feel invisible, and even my friends think we are the same person. So I dyed my hair blue so people wouldn't mix us up, and they thought that my friend had done it.
I met my ex-wife in my very early 20's. We were each other's first serious relationship. We had our ups and downs. We broke up 3 times, never for more than a week or two.
What few friends I had from high school, I lost them to moving away for college, or drugs.
Fast forward a decade later. I asked her to marry me, because we were surprised by our son's conception. That's not to say I didn't love her, she was my first and ONLY love. But I saw my parents in us, and I didn't want to bring children into the life I had.
A year and 9 months later, she had to have an emergency C-section to deliver our daughter. She couldn't have anything for the pain, because though we were at the hospital earlier that day, we were told that it'd be more than 24 hours until she started to deliver, and by the time I drove us back, she was past 6cm. I pushed her to the OR, because I thought the gang of nurses were moving too slow.
She came home 6 months later.
I did my best to be a good husband and father. She even told me at times that one of her favorite things about me was how I was with our children. To this day, it is THE nicest thing anyone has ever said about me.
We went to marriage counseling two times over the course of a few months.
A few days before our 3rd session, I came home from my usual 12 hour ER shift to discover that she had moved out...
I'm not trying to one-up you, and there's more to the story. I wasn't a #1 husband every now and then. I've always tended to bottle things up, and after 13 years, she knew how to push my buttons. These days, I wonder if I'm worth loving. But the upside of accepting your have faults is that you can work to better yourself, which is what I've put my effort into.
I've heard a ton of horror stories now that I'm in this situation, and that's just from coworkers that I never see outside of work. They say that divorce brings out the worst in people, or that it brings out the "real" person. I'm focusing on not letting divorce change me for the worse, but for the better. Divorce may be a failure, but failures are what we learn from.
That said, if you need to bounce some thoughts off someone, look me up.
I meant I wasn't trying to one-up the original guest and his story.
P.S. Thank you for your kind words. My main goal in life is to be a great parent for my children.