agreed. I'm for the concept of this overall but that's bad sarcasm. You can't assume that any store has a bathroom. Older buildings often aren't subject to codes requiring bathrooms, any places don't require them at all, and a host of financial incentives, variables and legal liabilities can mean no bathroom. I've been to stores where employees need to go to other businesses or public bathrooms, and a gas station where the employees went behind the building (I know this because that's what I was told to do.)
Baring some type of renovation or special circumstance you bring up a good point. This could be circumstantial and the op works in a large chain like that. I'd concede your point except for one detail- "no we shit outside like bears." That is not circumstantial. It implies that the alternative to not having a bathroom would mean one is not human. Not that the idea is provincial or low class (ie: "poo outside like hobos" or "use the gas station like junkies") but that it is an alien concept to the human race. To your example not: "no, we are the only walmart with no bathrrom" or: "Sorry, they built a store the size of a stadium but forgot bathrooms" etc. So while I agree you are right, it's still imho bad sarcasm as it implies anyone asking is stupid including those in special circumstances. To be well done there should be no reasonable retort, or the sarcastic one looks stupid not the recipient.
Yes. In a strict sense it's like defining "may I" vs "can I." Arguably one may be better than the other (although it's both simpler and more complex than most make the issue.) So speaking to a human and native language speaker they should likely realize your intent. For instance you could say similar about asking "may I use the bathroom" that you may not have a bathroom. In simple programming that's likely an error. The answer is neither yes nor no because the bathroom doesn't exist. Logically one would need to confirm it exists before getting permission. In reality asking permission should confirm it exists as understood through context.
It's a way of checking that it's still okay to enter, to see if the person can take another customer. I think it's nice of them to ask rather than waltzing into the restaurant ten minutes to closing time.
It's not okay when everyone is leaving and the store is dark. That stops being nice and starts being asinine. Also, I have had people try to stop me as I was getting into my car after my shift to help them. No. If someone is obviously off the clock, do not approach them.
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