Ok, storytime. In March, when I started regularly earning money (I'm also in college so the job is part time), I implemented a new policy on my life. I said to myself that I wouldn't spend that money on useless shit, and the way to really check myself is that whenever I buy something that I don't need (e.g. clothes that I bought just because they look nice, electronics...) I would give the same amount of money to charity. As you can see it worked because the only non vital thing I bought since then were headphones that were 80% off. Thus those $20. The charity would be one of my choice, and for my first time I chose UNICEF. My mom didn't only disapprove of the charity itself because "African people don't work and only want charity money, those moochers" but of the policy itself, saying I'm crazy and that I'll just lose all my hard earned money. I told her I only spent $20 bucks per a half year, but she still said I'm an idiot for doing this.
Perhaps if your job is only part time, you are still relying on them for financial assistance? Maybe they feel until you can support yourself 100 percent independently, you should keep your money. It's definitely a noble thought, but not practical if others are being affected.
I get that and I told them that I'm cool with paying rent and food but they said that I should focus on school without caring about money. Which is actually very nice of them, but that's why it seemed so weird that they would get their panties in a bunch over 20 bucks. And again, it was 20 bucks over the course of a half year. I hate shopping and I just don't buy stuff for myself very often because I don't need much so its not like I'm spending half my pay on charity, it was just 20 goddamn dollars.
Giving to charity or causes is a great wealth strategy, as well as a wonderful thing to do (giving back). Don't let your parents discourage you from doing that, especially since your are mindfully giving. We all have to be careful about the money habits that we pick up from our caregivers that do not serve our highest good. Their money beliefs can block our abundance. Do your own research on good money habits...and kudos...mindfully giving back is definitely one of them.
@garlog Yeah...my mom can be moody sometimes.
@yozogoggo Thanks... Yeah, I would only give money to a charity I had previously researched, because there are some charities out there that keep most of what they're given for their higher-ups.
If it's your own money, it doesn't matter if they yell. If it's money they gave you for a purpose that you redirected, it's a gray area. If it's money of theirs that was never specifically handed to you with their knowledge, to do whatever you want with, then you basically stole money without asking. Who's in the right depends on which of these situations it is.
I have a job, it was my own money. I'm glad you're seeing the situation from multiple angles though, not everybody has the ability to doubt others' words without sounding accusatory.
It's your money then, and they have no say in where it goes. I mean, unless it's cocaine or Crocs or something. They can get as mad as they want over it, makes no difference. Just tell them you're preparing for the day when you make enough that your charity contribution will be tax deductable.
Yell back and don't let the bitch push you around. By the sound of it,your parents are horrible people but you somehow turned out alright. Don't let them put a stop to being a decent person.
Maybe your parents know you and the situation and are trying to teach you and going on line to get approval of a bunch of strangers isn't the smartest idea, but hay if it helps your totally rite how dare they you're way smarter then they are and go you.
Yelling isn't going to teach me anything. If anything, I would learn if my mom told me where she stands on this calmly and put forth proper reasoning and arguments. In fact, the reason why I put this up was to get multiple points of view from other people on the internet. We're all anonymous here, more or less, so people won't shy away from saying what they really think and I appreciate that. I don't seek approval, I seek debates with reasonable people. Maybe someone here would've told me that I'm wrong and say good reasons why, and I would actually change my opinion. That's how it works. You can't makeup for bad content of your speech by making it louder.
You wont get proper reasoning and arguments here people here don't know the hole situation we are only hearing it from one side its like asking a girl why she hates her ex maybe he is a ass or maybe its her but if you only heir her side you will think he is the ass. For all we know your father shovels coal for a living so you don't have to worrier about money and instead of like saying hay pop I put 20 in gas in the car maybe they are pissed you're giving it a way
Or maybe they got scammed by a charity before and don't trust charity now or just don't like that charity. If you want to know if you were wrong and get reasons why have your mother come on and tell us why she got pissed. 4 am so don't know if this will come out rite but you say you work for the money but think of it this way if you move out pay for your rent food car insurance heat electric collage and general shopping would you have money to give to charity if not then your not giving your money away its you're parents money your job is just taking some of the weight off them.
None of these assumptions are close, we're a standard middle class family with no worries about money. In fact if you read the post correctly, you'd know that my parents buy a lot of stuff for themselves. But I understand that one doesn't have the energy or focus to make structured arguments at 4 AM and quite frankly I didn't sleep well either tonight, so excuse my babbling.
@yozogoggo Thanks... Yeah, I would only give money to a charity I had previously researched, because there are some charities out there that keep most of what they're given for their higher-ups.