I think @kakaburra is correct. It might be a generalization and verging on sexist, but I have heard that one source of relationship tension is that a woman will voice her problem to her S/O man with the intention of just wanting or needing to talk about it.
Now the problem is, is that humans still have a lot of mammalian hardwired programming in us. In a case where a woman S/O is troubled, that's the mate of the man and its built into us to protect her. We can't help it. We can override it if we try, but we often don't even notice.
As higher evolved homo sapiens, we have a whole lot of intelligence and problem solving ability at our disposal... so when the woman S/O is troubled, our mammalian brain kicks in to protect, the sapiens brain translates that into solve.
But she didn't need that. She just wanted to talk.
Ladies, cut your fella some slack, they are only trying to help. Guys, sit down and just listen more often, ok?
Okay. It’s just that the “special victim” part of your comment made it sound like you were making a negative generalization about people who want to vent. And venting can sometimes be the healthiest thing for you. We all carry way too darn much stress.
Oh yeah. I realise that now. Sorry about that, was just being brutally honest. I don't mean it in a bad way, I'm trying to say they want someone to 'empathize'.
No worries. I also get it if you were saying that some people like being the victim and go out of their way to try to get sympathy. I also only called you a maggot as a play on your username. I didn’t mean it, even though I used it kind of as an insult.
If I am talking to you about a problem, and I have not specifically asked for advice, then I A) am not ready to solve the problem because I need to deal with the emotions about it before I actually start fixing it, or B) have already fixed it. Do not give me advice, because if it's phase B you sound condescending and if it's phase A, one of those emotions is probably burning rage and you just volunteered as an outlet.
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· 7 years ago
But... as already mansplained to you above - men just cannot help but giving good advice, it's said to be something diffusely evolutionary. How can you neglect to respect their motivation and their delicate and valid emotions by not appreciating their input as you should do? That is soo sexist.
I don't think anybody noticed, but the irony of this is that someone replied to the comment venting about people needing to give advice even when not needed/asked
so this makes the post 10x better
Well that's because people didn't really think about the joke, as they were thinking more about how angry they were about it and how they were going to explain their anger.
Now the problem is, is that humans still have a lot of mammalian hardwired programming in us. In a case where a woman S/O is troubled, that's the mate of the man and its built into us to protect her. We can't help it. We can override it if we try, but we often don't even notice.
As higher evolved homo sapiens, we have a whole lot of intelligence and problem solving ability at our disposal... so when the woman S/O is troubled, our mammalian brain kicks in to protect, the sapiens brain translates that into solve.
But she didn't need that. She just wanted to talk.
Ladies, cut your fella some slack, they are only trying to help. Guys, sit down and just listen more often, ok?
so this makes the post 10x better
>expect people not to try to solve it
Absurd.