I like this one

Because "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" uses simple words. Thus worked better with the inherent laziness that is humanity.

There's no 's' in "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog"

Because people are boring

Because it is definitely not a million times cooler

Because last time a sphinx judged humans he killed a gigaton of them until Oedipus showed up and we don't have time to find another incestuous motherfucker to help us.

Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz.

That... that IS a lot cooler. Though I can imagine that many people might have problems with the words sphinx and quartz.

Because the first one only has each letter once. And it's jumps, not jumped.

Right? Love it