I hear "I am a proud/strong black woman" thrown out all the time and no one writes a novel about how that is wrong. Again your motives are suspect if you even mention you are white.
I haven't heard "I'm a strong black woman" in a long time (referring to being a single mother) and I'm black. The younger black female generation ain't going for that. That strong black woman stereotype and mindset is very toxic.
I don’t applaud this man, simply for the fact that his ad specifies “strong white father.” Perhaps in the “Rent a Daddy” industry, race is very important to clients. Perhaps the picture doesn’t impart that he is white, perhaps the picture is an example of the father you may receive for your rental, and he’s specifying for those who care that the father will be white. I find it more likely that he’s making an implication about race one way or another. Just based on the ad- even IF a “rent a daddy” was something I put trust in or would even need or consider- the impression this gives is not of a man I would want near any children.
Ugh, yeah everything about this is a mess. Does he want to be alone with someone's children, teaching them things? I thought it was going to be a sexual thing at first and then it just got worse and creepier from there.
He never actually says he wants to be alone with the kids. He just says he'll spend that much time with them, provided you can afford it. The mothers (or guardians) could likely be there the entire time if they wanted-- he works for them after all
Tbh if it's all above board, and nobody encourages the kids to think of him as their actual father, a lot of kids could probably benefit from this kind of arrangement when their fathers are missing or being pieces of garbage
Even if he is above the board- there are several very important factors to consider. I previously mention there are certain racially minded elements to this ad which throw a red flag up to me. But even if one wants to argue against it- the larger issue that ant be argued is that you don’t know anything about him. So if he isn’t a killer or sicko, he could still have values you don’t support, shitty habits, and while teaching kids and being at games is great- it’s not just a check box. There’s more to it and you have no idea the quality you are getting let alone that those positive influences you speak of wouldn’t come packaged with lessons on the earth being flat, vaccines being evil, chem trails, this guy could be a bow Nazi, and if rather have a kid grow up with no dad than a dad that would leave them damaged for life. Speaking of- who knows how your kids will react if/when they find out you paid some guy to “dad” for them, or if you fire him or he quits?
Some of those issues are potential dangers even if you got a new partner- and it’s up to an individual how to raise their kids. Personally I don’t believe in brining a new partner around kids at all until you are at least reasonably familiar and know they are likely not a danger, and have some idea about their beliefs and behaviors being a good fit for a potential influence- and even then only if you think there’s potential long term stability so that the kids aren’t meeting a new “influence” on a rotating basis. So brining a stranger who isn’t even a volunteer- but wants you to pay- one who thinks is very important you know they are white (of all things,) from the get go I have huge reservations on this persons character. Anyone can fill a seat for a meal or a game, show you craft work- being a positive influence goes much further and the fact this guy doesn’t seem to understand or care is another huge red flag to me.
If it's racially motivated or subjective it's not above board. And sometimes just having a consistent figure in your life can be helpful. As long as the mom can continue to afford it, he'll likely be around, which is no different than a babysitter or daycare really. We have no idea how encouraging or discouraging he would be, he's simply offering a service. No one's obligated to use it. Ideally, all fathers would stick around and be someone worthwhile in their kids' lives, but that's not always going to be the case. You may dislike the way he went about this ad, or not have faith in this particular individual, but I'm just saying it's not an offer completely without value
I didn’t say there wasn’t any merit in the principal. I said that this guy gives me every reason to be suspect of him and the devices he would provide. There is no level of professionalism or even any indication he could deliver on his claimed promises. Stability is important for kids- even all humans- but not having someone is better than having the wrong person, and if he wanted to be a baby sitter or such he could be, that is not what he claims to offer. If you want to, or there is to be a discussion- Please don’t reply to the comments you wish I’d made, or think I made, but consider what was actually said and reply appropriately.
Wow you got a lot bitchier at the end of that comment than I normally associate with you. :/ I'm not sure if you think I was attacking you or something, I really wasn't. Or maybe you just misunderstood something.
I never claimed you said anything at all-- all I said regarding YOUR comment was that you may dislike the way he approached making this offer. Everything you've said so far is indicative that you dislike the wording he used, distrust his motives, and all around find this to be a suspect initiative that won't have the kid's best interests in mind.
Outside of that, I stated my opinion about the situation in general, responded to you re-injecting the race angle and clarified my stance on that, and responded to your claim about whether he would be a seat filler or not (potentially, but it would be up to the mom to determine if she was getting value for her money).
@xvarnah- bitchy indeed. Apologies. The explanation of the day/week I was having is long and irrelevant. The circular nature of the conversation just touched the right nerve at the right time. You didn’t deserve that.
It's okay. Tbh I had a horrendous headache myself at the time of writing both those comments, particularly the one you were responding to, so I'm not surprised if it came off curt or poorly worded at all anyway. Plus, like I said, it's not at all the attitude I normally see from you directed at pretty much anyone you reply to-- even when you disagree (like genuinely disagree, not just stating the opposite side of something for the sake of discussion) you don't tend to be a particularly easy person to rattle and you don't usually get prickly at all from what I've seen, which is the only reason I really even paid it much attention haha.
I was actually wondering if maybe you were just having a bad moment/day/week. Lord knows we all go through them, and most of us lash out way worse than that anyway (I sure as hell have and do).
Hopefully whatever it is that's going on in your day/week gets better soon, though (if you want to talk about it feel free, but also no pressure).
Side note, if it makes you feel any better about the time spent on the conversation-- even though I could see potential merit to this service, I would never actually hire this guy
Tbh if it's all above board, and nobody encourages the kids to think of him as their actual father, a lot of kids could probably benefit from this kind of arrangement when their fathers are missing or being pieces of garbage
I never claimed you said anything at all-- all I said regarding YOUR comment was that you may dislike the way he approached making this offer. Everything you've said so far is indicative that you dislike the wording he used, distrust his motives, and all around find this to be a suspect initiative that won't have the kid's best interests in mind.
Outside of that, I stated my opinion about the situation in general, responded to you re-injecting the race angle and clarified my stance on that, and responded to your claim about whether he would be a seat filler or not (potentially, but it would be up to the mom to determine if she was getting value for her money).
Hopefully whatever it is that's going on in your day/week gets better soon, though (if you want to talk about it feel free, but also no pressure).
Side note, if it makes you feel any better about the time spent on the conversation-- even though I could see potential merit to this service, I would never actually hire this guy