Talk to your dog

Chew my shoes one more time and I hecking have you for dinner
Also the cat likes you and you should befriend him.

Thank you for loving me even when I didn’t love myself.

My dog or any dog? Bc my dog is deaf and it won't matter in the slightest

Don’t get all weird on me. You get the peanut butter and I get what I want... it’s a win-win.

I promise cutting your nails and taking baths won't kill you!!!

OK lookie here doggo this is a toilet and *shit i only have 5 sec left* soupoopinhereandpressthisandthenpoopgoesaway

love you more than anything.

Quit being such a territorial douchemonger or I'll fight you.