Screwdriver

Piledriver

Try the piledriver that I'm gonna send through your spleen you dastardly fiend!

I shit you not my second best friend doesn't have one. He walks, takes the bus, asks me for a ride or goes with a lyft everywhere. It's because he's in so much debt and has felonies.
What's super ironic is that he'd pass the state BAR test with flying colors.

Maybe not here, but in the U.K. you might need a license to carry a screw driver.