My husband's whole family Mom Dad Brothers and sister especially his uncle are cut from his life. They are why he is so messed up. He suffers from anxiety depression stress that once put him in the hospital and so many other problems. All due to what they did to him as a kid. They beat him neglected him and did so many terrible things that when he met my parents he thought he find mine to be the same. He thought all parents were just that way. But my parents are loving and kind and it threw him so hard that he broke down and cried after he first met my Dad and he hugged my husband and said welcome to the family son. He said the hug my Dad gave he could just feel he ment it with his whole heart.
So my husband's family is not allowed near us every again.
Only his grandfather who though he is 90+ and really old thinking and a bible thumping southern preacher, he actually cared about my husband when he was growing up and made sure he never went without.
When I told my Dad about my husband's upbringing my Dad would go out of his way to make my husband feel welcomed and part of the family. My Dad's own father was the same an abusive S.O.B. whose own mother rather live with her grandkids and her daughter in law than live with her only child. My Dad's Mom divorced her husband and took in her mother in law. Not many people in this world would do that.
But honestly that tells you how bad the guy was if his own mother rather live with his wife than him her only child. The man was never even calle dmy grandfather he was that terrible.
My Mom was like me came from a big loving family.
My biological father was an alcoholic who beat my mom and his mom so badly they were hospitalized. It's pretty easy to cut people off when that's something they are capable of.
I've often made "cold blooded" comments by father, along the lines of the least he could do is die already so I could get social security (before I turned 18) since he LITERALLY never did anything for me or my mom. People, who KNEW he was a worthless deadbeat, who constantly pull the "oh you shouldn't say that/ don't mean that, he IS your Dad". No, he was basically a sperm donor who never gave a shit about me, my mom or any of his numerous other kids before or after me, I owe him ZERO loyalty.
I recently had a convo with someone and said that I never go to family gatherings and see most of them like once every five years, which is really enough. They asked me if my parents did not make me go, and that's where I realized I'm lucky because my parents have that guilt/social convention embedded in them, but they don't force it on me. They'll always go, because "it's family", but will never make me go because they know it's not who I consider family.
my step dad is cut off to me because i moved out at 16, but recently messaged him asking him to come to my highschool graduation this year (ill be 18) and he said he didnt want to come and didnt want to see me anymore and doesn't support the fact that im trans. my mom doesnt support me either, but she said she wouldnt miss it
So my husband's family is not allowed near us every again.
Only his grandfather who though he is 90+ and really old thinking and a bible thumping southern preacher, he actually cared about my husband when he was growing up and made sure he never went without.
Wish him all the best
But honestly that tells you how bad the guy was if his own mother rather live with his wife than him her only child. The man was never even calle dmy grandfather he was that terrible.
My Mom was like me came from a big loving family.