yeah sure, the apple is right, like the mother that beat her toddler, the father tried to get custody, but the toddler stayed with the mother, court orders.
How about asking my oldest brother if Moms should always get the kids.
His ex neglected their daughter and abused her. He would pick her up from his ex and the little girls hair would be so knotted and matted he had to take her to a hair salon and plead for their help. They wanted to cps on him but he explained it was all her mom.
She would leave him a sweet little girl potty trained and saying please and thank you. He pick her up back in diapers and say cuss words like they were normal. Don't get me wrong it was cute as hell lol but no 4 year old should be calling the tv a son of a bitch for not having blue's clues on.
Than worse of all my cousin. His 2 twin baby girls were living with his ex-wife. They were not even 6 months old and the day after she got custody she pick them up one by one and shook them violently till they stop moving.
She is in prison for life.
Men do violent stuff as well. A man killed himself and his 2yr old just a city over from me.
This post yeeted the apple with the point of view of mothers always getting the kid. In other words, I think you mean fuck that apple or concept in general. Sorry about your kid's mom tho.
It’s tough for any person to look at snippets from a relationship from the outside and judge the people inside, their feelings, who they really are. But the idea a mother should always get the kids or even be the default choice for custody is ignorant and sexist. Sadly it must be a “subjective call” because a judge simply has to decide which home they think is best. Stability, income, values, who can and will spend time with the kids? Who seems to have demonstrated the biggest investment to the kids and so on.
To give you an idea how hard that is: look at the pop up ads you get. Sometimes you eat some REAL weird ones I’m sure. Ones that are just dumb and no interest to you. That’s the work of teams of brilliant people working with his budgets and near unlimited time with advanced math and technology, using machines that can see what you look at, where you do the looking from, for how long, what you buy, etc. etc. with time and data and money to figure out what you like they’ll still send you ads to buy a damn boat because you looked up something about spingebob on Wikipedia last month, or whatever.
So it’s tough, it’s complex, and anyone with more money in the case will have an advantage usually and almost Judges know it- because the image a judge sees of you depends on the “you” that your lawyer and the opposing lawyer shows. It’s like Facebook- you have no idea what a persons life is like by looking at their Facebook. It’s snippets they choose to show you. That fancy plane could be them renting a photo op on a private jet. Now imagine Facebook except you aren’t the only one who gets to update your profile- your worst enemy who wants to paint you in the worst light possible gets to update it too. The image a stranger will be left with is likely the image whichever one of you is better at social media manipulation wants right?
But a default idea that a mother should get custody is wrong. A social norm that a woman makes a better parent is wrong. On so many levels- least of all it feeds into a traditional idea of gender roles where the primary duty and talent and purpose of a woman is parenthood.
Family court is one of the worst places to ever be. Almost always it means everyone involved has already lost. There is seldom ever a truly happy ending to a custody case because it’s a relatively rare thing that one parent is a saint and “perfect care giver” and the other is a cartoon monster or villain. Sometimes they are- but the fact that it’s the exception to the rule and a good percentage of bitter exes and those seeking custody will all but accuse their objectively average range former partner of being some incarnation of the Devil makes such accusations require substantial proof of which there often isn’t simply because many acts of neglect or abuse don’t leave traces beyond a witness (who is often a child or said former partner and thus not seen as the most reliable or steadfast witness.) Many things can be innocent or not and it depends on “the WAY it was said” etc. which again- are subjective. So it’s tough.
His ex neglected their daughter and abused her. He would pick her up from his ex and the little girls hair would be so knotted and matted he had to take her to a hair salon and plead for their help. They wanted to cps on him but he explained it was all her mom.
She would leave him a sweet little girl potty trained and saying please and thank you. He pick her up back in diapers and say cuss words like they were normal. Don't get me wrong it was cute as hell lol but no 4 year old should be calling the tv a son of a bitch for not having blue's clues on.
Than worse of all my cousin. His 2 twin baby girls were living with his ex-wife. They were not even 6 months old and the day after she got custody she pick them up one by one and shook them violently till they stop moving.
She is in prison for life.
Men do violent stuff as well. A man killed himself and his 2yr old just a city over from me.
Sometimes even an grandparent or aunt or uncle is better.