People come to weddings from obligation

In math- it would work out the same to just charge people to go, or to have guests pay for the event directly. But... it’s perception. Giving gifts to a friend is giving. Throwing a party for friends is giving. The hosts and the guests build good will by giving. Charging money is taking. That often has a negative perception.

A wedding is no more a financial investment than sending $100k at a video arcade or bar. You generally will not make money off a wedding. It is an expense. But- it’s something many people enjoy. It’s also a compelling reason to unite friends and family from afar in one place. It’s an experience- and like most things that cost money for just “memories” it isn’t something you need or that is generally going to be a financial benefit. You do it because you want to.

Much like- ironically since it says “take a vacation instead...” travel. Travel is a fine pursuit many love and has many benefits. But travel for travel sake isn’t something that has financial value. You can’t resell your trip to Paris 10 years later at a profit. You pay several grand or whatever, you get a memory and a smaller bank account. But if you enjoy travel and can afford it- you are ok with the trade.

Likewise- if you enjoy being a host and having parties- and you have the money, a wedding is as good a way to spend it as anything else. Personally I don’t believe in spending large sums on throwing an event if you aren’t financially stable, have a home, and won’t be going deeply into debt. If you take the wedding or “nice vacation” money and invest wisely in yourself or financial markets- in 30,50 years you’d have a very nice nest egg. But... it’s relative.

Money is money. You can always make money. One bill is as good as another. If you’re a person who in 50 years would rather look at pictures and remember your fancy party day or your nice vacation than see you have another couple hundred grand on the bank statement- then choose the memories.

Funny enough it comes down to money as so much does. That’s what a honeymoon usually is- a fancy vacation for the newly married. People who can afford to will have a nice wedding and then a nice vacation together. If you have the money- money isn’t the most important thing to you. Money is what you use to but things to make you happy. If you are financially secure you aren’t worried about the money. You want it so you do it because you can.

That’s the darker side of wedding. Showing off. People who can’t afford weddings have weddings to try and show people they can afford a wedding. It’s trickle down. The rich gave each other jewelry for marriage. So then the less rich started doing it to look rich. Then the middle class started doing it to look fancy. Then the low class started doing it so they wouldn’t look low class.

In modern times diamonds were the long time standard. People would try to show their wealth by buying bigger diamonds. Here’s the funny thing though- the very fish like royalty? It’s more common they give sapphires or other stones which are rarer than diamonds. Most laypeople would assume a diamond would be better than a sapphire and wouldn’t consider the sapphire ring as good, and most really wealthy folks could tell you weren’t really wealthy because you have a giant diamond instead of a sapphire. “Old money club” and all that.

People emulate what the rich do. Once upon a time they copied royalty. Now it’s more common to copy celebrities. But as the lower classes copy the upper, the upper funds new ways to differentiate themselves. Then the cycle repeats. But there is always a way, and nay tells, for the elite to see very quickly wether you “belong” and are in “the club.”

Regardless the mentality continues. “Megan used this designer...” “Beyoncé used this florist...” “Kloe used bamboo for her bouquet!” So on. Monkey see- monkey do. In olden times lower class weddings were usually more like pot lucks. Things that could be done by what we’re basically peasants. At various points in history lower classes didn’t have wedding ceremonies since the expense wasn’t something they could afford while also surviving- or they’d scrape together what they could spare. Eat a little less and work a little more etc. leading up to the event.

A lavish wedding isn’t a financially intelligent expense. You do it because you want to, because you can afford to. It is a luxury. $50 or less will get you married most places. Anything else is fluff. It’s your money though. Do what you want with it. Don’t feel pressured to show off or have a wedding because society has said you’re “supposed to.” That said- we all have our places in society and depending what those places are- there may be an implied social obligation for your station. Social interactions are just politics.