I hold the door open for women to spare as many men as possible from having to deal with this kind of unprecedented raving insanity when they're just trying to be polite going about their goddamn day.
.
I̶ ̶a̶l̶s̶o̶ ̶h̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶o̶o̶r̶ ̶o̶p̶e̶n̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶m̶e̶n̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶h̶u̶m̶a̶n̶ ̶b̶e̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶d̶r̶o̶p̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶o̶o̶r̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶f̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶b̶a̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶g̶e̶n̶d̶e̶r̶.̶ ̶
I laughed. Old but good, a funny concept. That said- the act of holding the door closed so a woman needs to fight a patriarchy is still part of the problem. The idea either way is that there isn’t a need for a man to be involved in her use of the door one way or another- helping or hindering. You’re inserting yourself into her interaction with her environment without her asking. While it sometimes might be nice to get a little help- I don’t want someone helping me take my jacket off or taking bags from my hands when I am carrying them. I would be put off, especially if it’s a stranger.
But the idea of opening doors being harmful to women is multifaceted. On the one hand- personally I feel that if you would open a door for a man etc- then it’s just manners. I can understand being frustrated of you’re someone who doesn’t like the door opened- but I feel getting upset or aggressive with someone over it is uncalled for. Simply letting them know you appreciate they are trying to be polite but do not wish for the door to be held for you should suffice- and likewise respecting that some people don’t want the door opened should be done by the one recieving this feedback.
There is more than one take on it beyond symbolism about power dynamics like this person talks about. Holding a door open for a woman is a tradition of manners, like pulling out chairs or paying for dates- it became a defacto aspect of manners and social grace- but its roots lie in a gender dynamic where women are to be looked after by a man. Much the same as other customs or even words weren’t necessarily originally malicious but become problematic because of their history etc.
Everyone feels differently about these sorts of things and that is ok- as long as we do our best to respect each other. I was raised on manners like that, my partner, who is VERY aware and mindful of gender issues and other matters- still appreciates it when I open the car door for them etc, and between the two of us that dynamic works. If they asked me not to- I would not do it. You won’t know what every stranger on the street wants or likes. But hopefully they will be polite about it since we live in a world where there are many sorts of people and cultural ideas.
.
I̶ ̶a̶l̶s̶o̶ ̶h̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶o̶o̶r̶ ̶o̶p̶e̶n̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶m̶e̶n̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶h̶u̶m̶a̶n̶ ̶b̶e̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶d̶r̶o̶p̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶o̶o̶r̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶f̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶b̶a̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶g̶e̶n̶d̶e̶r̶.̶ ̶