We are but a sum of what we fantasize about defending ourselves from

Apparently I'm a rapist, a mugger, a speeding bullet, a pirate, possibly an orc, an SJW, a shark, no less than 3 dozen zombies, a ninja, the government, a knife I'm harmlessly cutting bread with, and a particularly agitated squirrel.

"I would've voted Obama for a 3rd term if I could've"