Stealthy Elephant conspiracy

Duh, that's why leaves fall, because elephants are heavy and shake all the leaves off

So that's why the Vietcong won!!! Those damn elephant snipers

I'm looking at a tree right now and I can't see a single elephant. They're that good.

One of my dad's favorites: "Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees. Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No? See, it works!"