There's an excruciatingly fine line between someone who can do this and still love and treat you with care after, and an abuser. And an abuser is far more likely to be what you encounter
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A relationship with a female abuser that lasts for any length of time is often not a survivable encounter. You may live through it, but you will lose entire chunks of who you are and what you have. Every other relationship you have will suffer, and if you realize you need to escape, there will be little recourse for you in the present system.
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So if this is what you want, go in with eyes wide open, and for the love of god be careful.
The most important part of SM is the ground rules. Safe words, talking about boundaries, and making sure the M can express when they’ve had enough (if they’re gagged and bound it’s a bit hard)
A good S will know how far is too far.
ALSO
Aftercare is important. If the Dom/S isn’t doing aftercare, THATS BIG RED FLAG
O_O.. As someone who was in a longterm relationship with an abusive woman, this hits a little different. As far as sexuality goes, I was definitely the dominant one. I mean, not judging; but, I'm not into getting whipped or pegged or ridden around like my-little-brony. The abuse she put me through was mental, emotional and, at times physical; but never sexual. It has very much broken me as far as being able to initiate and maintain a healthy new relationship. I put it as she ruined me for other females. I'm 100% human, and have plenty of faults, of which I will never try to hide or to sugar-coat, but the boundless devotion and caring I showed for this woman, I don't ever think I could give to anyone else, ever again. I played no games and pulled no punches when I let her into the most unreachable depths of my vulnerabilities, and she used that power to manipulate me into what she wanted. Although it took a LONG time to shake her from my mind after we split, the turning point...
...happened before that. It happened when I told myself I wasn't going to apologize any more. Not that I wouldn't say I'm sorry for the dickish things I might do, but I stopped saying I'm sorry for the things she wanted me to feel bad about. I think I may have digressed, though. This will be the closest thing to consoling I will ever venture into. Funny enough, I can vent to the faceless strangers of FS moreso than I would ever reveal such a weakness to any of my loved ones.
I will support you as you find yourself
.
A relationship with a female abuser that lasts for any length of time is often not a survivable encounter. You may live through it, but you will lose entire chunks of who you are and what you have. Every other relationship you have will suffer, and if you realize you need to escape, there will be little recourse for you in the present system.
.
So if this is what you want, go in with eyes wide open, and for the love of god be careful.
A good S will know how far is too far.
ALSO
Aftercare is important. If the Dom/S isn’t doing aftercare, THATS BIG RED FLAG