The man with the big snake

Don’t know about your school but that’s hella illegal over here

He came to Germany too and I recently found pictures of that :D

Our school’s snake man was my carpool’s dad. He ended up getting arrested for illegally owning this specific breed of alligator.

If you can have a full blown conversation with the snake, you go to Hogwarts, you get an owl, you get a magic wand and do spells and shit.
This is why most of us never got our letters... the kids you never saw again, and don't see on Facebook decades afterwards?
Hogwarts.
That enigmatic supply teacher that you liked and they never came back?
Hogwarts.
The reason you never had any friends that you could connect to?
Your letter was held by your parents, and also nobody likes you.