Newsflash dipshit

Newsflash dipshit carries so much raw power

No shit, sherlock has always been mine.

I hate racism.

Mother fuckin piece of dog shit

"Listen hear, pal," or "ready to rock and roll?" Those are my go to phrases.

"Ok buddy"

My friends (one hispanic, one asian) took my phone the other day and I was looking for it when they started giggling so I said “Now listen here buddy” once I realized they took it, cuz that’s a typical phrase I use. They started dying laughing and I was so confused until they sent me this and it made me rethink my entire life.
https://goo.gl/images/BhJb5w

"Hey dad" is my favourite

I have never used it but i find "jesus tapdacing christ " fascinating

*sips cup*
You taste that? That's Diet Racism!

Abortion face. Simple. Efficient. Carries both the meanings of ugliness and lack of purpose.

HR department visits my boss:
I see you keep calling co-worker X as DF when texting him, what does that stand for?
Boss: (innocent face) Dear Friend

I say oh jeepers

Alright dude, let's blow this popsicle stand!