Well now, I'm not sure if that was meant as a compliment or an insult, but either way you've got me overthinking it, which I guess means you must be right lmao x)
Haha aw, we'll ty then :)
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I'm not sure I've been gone exactly, I've been posting but maybe just on different posts? Probably a bit less than before also (not sure), but you know. Life, the universe, and everything get in the way, and they're so unreasonable sometimes. Never fear, you haven't gotten rid of me yet!
This is very much a real thing. Does the amount of happiness I'll feel be worth the pain and suffering? Are two years of solid misery worth suffering in order to gain a few months of joy? I'd wager not, but I'm still thinking about it.
Ah, but the enjoyment of others does nothing to add enjoyment for myself. In that manner, I am nothing more than a tool that provides a service to others at the detriment of itself.
There's also the utilitarian version, originally appearing in ancient Egypt: will the good you do outweigh the bad you do?
A tangent, but an interesting one: If Hitler had killed himself before he rose to power would it have improved his chances of getting into Heaven? I mean technically he'd commit a mortal sin either way, but wouldn't there be some nobility in killing yourself to spare the mass damage he inflicted? If it does help his chances though, it means, ultimately, one life is just as equal as the millions of lives Hitler took.
I mean the obvious option is... done commit genocide and don't commit suicide, but that doesn't answer the question... is one life worth millions according to God's judgement?
Life should never be measured by the amount of good or bad someone could do. The future is too changing to ever really predict it. Should we kill a million kids because there's a small chance that one of them will grow up to kill millions of people? Wouldn't the good outweigh the bad?
Also, I have issues with caring about others. I don't care about doing more good than bad. I don't care if I get thousands addicted to cocaine if it means I live a happy life.
I just said it was an argument, never agreed with it.
Once upon a time, there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years.
One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically, “you must be so sad.”
“We’ll see,” the farmer replied.
The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it two other wild horses.
“How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed! “Not only did your horse return, but you received two more. What great fortune you have!”
“We’ll see,” answered the farmer.
The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. “Now your son cannot help you with your farming,” they said. “What terrible luck you have!”
“We’ll see,” replied the old farmer.
The following week, military officials came to the village to conscript young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was brok
en, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. “Such great news. You must be so happy!”
The man smiled to himself and said once again.
I mean, there isn't really any risk with suicide outside of failing. If you die, then you're just dead. There isn't anything except nonexistence. There's not even a missed opportunity as that would require a mind to comprehend it. I just know that I have the biological will to survive that I have to deal with in either acceptance or... acceptance. There is as equal chance to have a good life as to have a bad life for me, so the only consideration is if having the good is worth the bad.
@spiderwoman We’ve gone down this path before about who suicide hurts more. In my opinion, suicide has lifelong psychological impacts on the people who you leave behind. It isn’t just ‘a year of mourning and then we’re back to our merry selves’. Every Christmas that you’re not there, every summer vacation with one less person, every phone call that comes in hoping it’s you, every time we look into your room with all of your old things - that shit hurts. Nothing fills the void of a missing loved one. No amount of booze, or sex, or religion. You ache. And sometimes your heart doesn’t ever heal. So while taking yourself out might alleviate your pain, I stand by my conviction that you pass it on to others. Look, I’m just an ‘internet friend’. And I’m not your family. But you are not a ‘tool’ for others’ satisfaction. You - and anyone else who is depressed and/or suicidal - are much more than that. I can’t make you change your mind. But that is how I feel.
So, you believe that other people's feelings are more important than my own. That I have to suffer for the rest of my life because a few people will have the mental equivalent of a broken arm for a little while? Fuck you.
@spiderwoman We disagree on suicide but that doesn’t change that I will still continue to care about you. And I’m not a retaliatory jerk because you used the f-word with me. All I want is for you - or anyone else who feels like you - to find peace with whatever’s plaguing you. For me, you and I are still all good. I send you a hug, a hope that you know there are strangers out there who care about you, and a wish that you find peace.
I did that once. Afterwards, I tore the paper up and burned it in my candle. That was years ago and I decided if I still felt that way in the morning, then I'd commit suicide. I cried myself to sleep that night. I was in grade 7.
The next morning I woke up early. My cat was sleeping next to me, her soft paws resting on my hand. The curtains were pulled back to display one of the most beautiful sunrises I have ever seen. I realized my candle had burned all night, and the papers had disintegrated. They were all gone, my reasons to live. But it was such a beautiful morning, I couldn't dwell on it, because they were around me always! I just didn't open my eyes.
It's been much better since <3
This was a rollercoaster of a comment, (though it didn't help that I misinterpreted that at first and thought you meant you shot yourself).
'
Either way the end of it was worth the ride, and I think we're all glad you made it through that night!
'
I'm not sure I've been gone exactly, I've been posting but maybe just on different posts? Probably a bit less than before also (not sure), but you know. Life, the universe, and everything get in the way, and they're so unreasonable sometimes. Never fear, you haven't gotten rid of me yet!
A tangent, but an interesting one: If Hitler had killed himself before he rose to power would it have improved his chances of getting into Heaven? I mean technically he'd commit a mortal sin either way, but wouldn't there be some nobility in killing yourself to spare the mass damage he inflicted? If it does help his chances though, it means, ultimately, one life is just as equal as the millions of lives Hitler took.
I mean the obvious option is... done commit genocide and don't commit suicide, but that doesn't answer the question... is one life worth millions according to God's judgement?
Also, I have issues with caring about others. I don't care about doing more good than bad. I don't care if I get thousands addicted to cocaine if it means I live a happy life.
Once upon a time, there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years.
One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically, “you must be so sad.”
“We’ll see,” the farmer replied.
The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it two other wild horses.
“How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed! “Not only did your horse return, but you received two more. What great fortune you have!”
“We’ll see,” answered the farmer.
The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. “Now your son cannot help you with your farming,” they said. “What terrible luck you have!”
“We’ll see,” replied the old farmer.
The following week, military officials came to the village to conscript young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was brok
The man smiled to himself and said once again.
The next morning I woke up early. My cat was sleeping next to me, her soft paws resting on my hand. The curtains were pulled back to display one of the most beautiful sunrises I have ever seen. I realized my candle had burned all night, and the papers had disintegrated. They were all gone, my reasons to live. But it was such a beautiful morning, I couldn't dwell on it, because they were around me always! I just didn't open my eyes.
It's been much better since <3
'
Either way the end of it was worth the ride, and I think we're all glad you made it through that night!