Well technically telling a child to dress one way or another is enforcing social standards. One way to have them not sexualized is to decide until they are of sexual maturity there is no boys clothes or girl’s clothes, just kids clothes. Then by definition they can’t dress in drag.
▼Reply
deleted
· 5 years ago
While we're on the subject, let's go the whole way and get rid of pageants/etc as well
Child beauty pageants are a big thing in the south and it's usually mothers putting their daughters in, and usually it's other mothers watching and judging.
While I don't know about the sexualizing thing, I've never met a pageant mom that wasn't treating her kid like a dog dragging them around and getting pissy whenever the kid visibly doesn't wanna be there. Pageants by default just have a toxic and innately immoral sense of competition around them and I wouldn't mind seeing them gone in the slightest. A lot of women say that the media and toys give young girls unrealistic expectations, but a lot of that also starts with their mothers and that sucks.
I'm sure you could say those moms were influenced by these things, but they're also willingly perpetuating it to line their walls with trophies. I feel the same way about most child competitions where sportsmanship isn't a core value, which is most of them. They're all in service of the adults getting more clout.
Truth. “Pageants are about more than looks...” yes. They are. You need more than a “pretty face” to win- but they are PRIMARILY based on looks. How many miss Universe winners have looked like a dump truck in a bin bag but were “great gals?” Spoiler: 0- ever. “These pageants teach these girls pride and self confidence and competition...” yeah. They do. A pride and self confidence that is based in how good you look or are able to “show” like a calf at a 4H auction. Competition based on who can look the best and get the most attention and say and do what will please an audience or judges best- which speaking of pride and work and competition.... your daughter can’t get that from 4H? Mathletes? Hackethons or robotics challenges? Soap box derby or kart racing etc?
“But they need diverse skills and talents...” Cut you off there. What’s your kids talent? Piano? Dance? Singing? Ok. That’s what they do. It wouldn’t be their talent if they weren’t good at it, and hopefully not if they didn’t enjoy it. So why are you here and not at a singing competition, a dance recital or competition, etc? Why isn’t their talent the thing that carried the highest score? Why isn’t it the ability to debate, orate, or otherwise DO that is the “main event” and primary focus over their ability to look good and be likable? “There’s skill and sacrifice and planning that goes in to winning...” Yes. At anything. Even a hotdog eating contest, that is true. But... who’s skill? Does your kid have to do their own hair and makeup? Pick their outfits and etc? Or does someone else and they just show up like a doll and speak and perform on cue like a trained animal and get a “treat” for it?
See- at least if the kids had to doll themselves up and not rely on others I could at least see it as some sort of hobby for those who simply enjoy playing dress up. But that’s not how it works is it?
While I don't know about the sexualizing thing, I've never met a pageant mom that wasn't treating her kid like a dog dragging them around and getting pissy whenever the kid visibly doesn't wanna be there. Pageants by default just have a toxic and innately immoral sense of competition around them and I wouldn't mind seeing them gone in the slightest. A lot of women say that the media and toys give young girls unrealistic expectations, but a lot of that also starts with their mothers and that sucks.
I'm sure you could say those moms were influenced by these things, but they're also willingly perpetuating it to line their walls with trophies. I feel the same way about most child competitions where sportsmanship isn't a core value, which is most of them. They're all in service of the adults getting more clout.