It's not hatred. It's pen*s

Angry... you had sex... with someone you found attractive enough to have sex with, and they found you attractive enough to have sex too? “They weren’t a woman!” Umm... that’s a deep one to get into. But let me ask you this:
1. Were you trying to get them pregnant? Cause if you were.... ummm... you probably should have noticed RIGHT AWAY that hike doesn’t do that. If you weren’t.... what... does it matter? The fact they can’t get pregnant is kinda a big plus if you aren’t trying to have a baby.
2. Did you find them attractive? Yeah. You likely did. Or else you wouldn’t have had sex or wanted to no?

BUT- here’s the crazy thing... NOT ALL TRANS WOMEN HAVE PENISES. Ding ding ding. Ever hear the term “post op/pre op”? Yeah. So she has a vagina, you get along. You think she is attractive.... ok.... her drivers license may likely say “female....” Soooo.... what is different about her than any other woman you’d meet? She can’t get pregnant? Ok. Lots of women can’t. Infertility, hysterectomy, etc.

At this point.... we could say... chromosomes? But.... you can’t really see those can you? You can’t taste or sense or smell them. If you can and you’re attracted to her- you might be “gay” to some degree then I guess? I dunnoh. Unless you usually gene sequence your dates you don’t even know the make up of the “women” you’ve dated since... sex is assigned at birth based on what a doctor sees. Doctor looks, sees a vagina- it’s a girl. So... your fully transitioned female crush goes to a doctor... they look... vagina... they’d likely say off hand “it’s a girl!”

So the thing stopping romance often times here is STIGMA. They use the term “hate” which may be too strong. But there is a STIGMA to dating trans people where you’re almost more likely to meet a person who wants to have a relationship because they are curious or have fetishized you than because they genuinely aren’t caught up in antiquated gender ideas.

Tl:dr- don’t be a moron. No one is trying to force you to do anything. The point is there is an unfair stigma that stands between trans people and acceptance in mainstream dating. “She has a penis.” Not all trans people have penises. That’s ignorant. At some point in development all embryos have the same junk and it changes later. Asides a desire to have kids (which isn’t a trans issue- it’s a question “I really want to make kids. Is that something you want and are able to do...?”) I’ve never heard a single good reason for a universal resistance to the idea of dating trans other than bigotry, stigma, or ignorance.

But hell- plenty of people won’t date a black person, a Mexican, a “white” person, etc. no one is forcing you to- and all the attention that things like interracial relationships were given in society and law weren’t to force you to. They were to shift the social perception so that a mixed race couple could go out to dinner without being scared for their lives or uncomfortable. To break down the stigma that you HAD to date inside your race for no damn good reason. Use your brain. You don’t have to date a trans person but being trans isn’t a reason not to date an awesome person unless you’re a moron.

If physical attraction is part of wanting to date someone and you aren't attracted to penises, then the possibility of a person having a penis is a legitimate factor in deciding whether or not to date them.

Didn’t downvote you. But yes. You are correct. A physical trait is a physical trait. If, what, and how much compromise you are willing to make on physical appearance vs. character and compatibility is a personal choice and some people are more shallow than others and can’t see past things like weight, height, race, etc. But- two points of note here. 1. As discussed. Not all trans women have penises. Therefore the penis argument doesn’t give any reason you can’t date a trans woman without a penis since she has all the things that attract you.

2. “Aren’t attracted to penises.” Well... I mean, are you? Have you ever looked up “big dick porn,” or just couldn’t get into a video because of the dudes dick? Ever fap to hetero penetrative porn? If you aren’t watching exclusively lesbian porn or solos or “soft core” then... there’s some part of you that’s cool with a dick in the mix that isn’t yours no?

Aesthetically... well.... I dunnoh. Plenty of women or men don’t really like looking at penises or vaginas but still have sex with them. Lots of “straight” guys get “icked” out eating a vagina out and try to avoid it. If that person can soldier through sex with person with a vagina they don’t find particularly attractive but feels good- I don’t see why they can’t soldier through sex with a person who has a penis they don’t like to look at but the sex feels good.

So- while “I just really like the way a vagina feels and couldn’t commit to a monotonous relationship where I couldn’t have vagina- and only want a monogamous relationship...” or the like ARE valid reasons to not want to date a person without a vagina... as established: 1. Many trans women HAVE vaginas. So no reason aesthetically or equipment wise not to date them. And 2. Not dating someone for not having a vagina, or not letting you use their vagina- isn’t the same thing as not dating a person because they are trans (see point 1- a trans person may have a vagina.)

Thus: the statement that being trans is not a reason to stigmatize dating a person is still true. There may be SPECIFIC Trivial or pragmatic reasons why this person and you may not be compatible- but that is an issue of individual compatibility and not an issue of their being trans.

It’s like saying you don’t want to date a person of Danish decent because you don’t like when people speak Danish. Well... just because they are of Danish decent doesn’t mean they speak Danish- and non Danes May speak Danish. The two have a relationship but no direct correlation and we cannot apply either universally to a group of people.

Discovering wether the person meets your criteria for romantic and sexual attraction requires you get to know them... generally what Dating is for- getting to know a person who you are attracted to. And... the million dollar question: how do you KNOW they have a penis? Is it common for you to see or discuss genitals with a person before you’ve gotten to know them well in a relationship? If you meet a trans person at a party and think they are cute: instead of excusing names will you request to show them yours and they show you theirs? To get that far generally requires some form of “courtship” aka “dating”- which you won’t do if there is stigma against it no?

I don’t think anyone deserves to be beaten. That said, if you’re going after heterosexual men and you have a penis, you should be upfront about it. They are in their rights to feel like they have be duped or fooled by you if you wait until you are in bed with them to let them find out about something like that. And many may feel violated and lash out.
I guess my point is. Don’t be a catfish.

Waking up, being you- I don’t know that requires a warning sign to not be called a catfish. A VERY common one, especially for established folks are things like having decent credit, low debt to income ratio, etc. So I mean- if you’re going after people who look like they might have their shot together and you don’t disclose your FICO and finances up front are you a cat fish?

And what exactly does a straight guy look like? How could you pick one out in a room? Will HE tell you early and up front on meeting? Is this a common way for “straight men” to introduce themselves where you are from? “Hi. I’m John. I have a penis but other than that one I don’t like penises and am heterosexual.” Why do trans people have to be the ones (keeping in mind they are also generally at higher risk of violence simply for being “outed”) to disclose their genitals and no one else? AND- up until the point you are allowed into bother persons pants- what business of yours are their genitals?

I mean. Disclosing the fact that you have a dick and disclosing your FICO score are two different things. I mean. If you use stock images on Tinder to pull guys, you can’t be upset when you meet up with them in real life and they aren’t impressed if you’re a 300lb ugly chick, and choose not to talk to you anymore. Same if you have a penis. If you are presenting yourself as an attractive woman, you can’t be upset if straight men aren’t impressed with your schlong and don’t wanna talk to you. In both situations, the person on the other end has the right to be upset with you.

Now- I would generally agree it might be polite and perhaps prudent to tell them before you are in bed- but “duped?” Out of what? Did you buy a car? What about a born female who decides when in bed they no longer wish to have sex? Did they dupe you too? Bait and switch? Consent can be revoked at any time- and you aren’t promised sex. If YOU let yourself get into bed and haven’t gotten to know them well enough to even know what you might be finding in their pants- that’s on you. Not them. If you start eating out of the pot on my stove and THEN ask what it is- that’s on you.

Tl:dr- If you say you want to buy my car, and you want an automatic shift but don’t say that or ask what I have- you can’t get mad at me when you find out it is manual. It’s not my job to tell you what you want. I’m here because I know what I want. It’s up to YOU to make sure you’re buying what you want, and if you aren’t sure- walk away if take a risk. That’s all on you.

It can go both ways now can’t it? If you haven’t gotten to know someone well enough to be comfortable telling them what is in your pants (assuming it’s not the usual) why are you in bed with them?
It’s not a question of consent. Because it should never get that far. Unlike the ugly girl using model pictures on Tinder, you can’t find out something is wrong just by looking at them. So someone should say something before people get to bed.

What is “wrong?” Nothing is “wrong.” There is something YOU might not like. MIGHT being the operative word- since I have no way of knowing what you do or do not like. I can ask. Perhaps something like: “so, what are you into?” If you do t think to mention you aren’t into penis- how would that be my fault? Why is someone else responsible for YOUR assumptions? If your cell plan doesn’t have unlimited data, never said it had unlimited data, and you never asked about unlimited data- that’s on you.

This argument is stupid because obviously I’m arguing with a brick wall. Straight men don’t like dicks. If you have one, and you are parading around as someone without one, and trying to sleep with people who like vaginas, you get what you get. Be honest. And maybe then you’ll create less risk for yourself.
I’m done here.

The critical difference- the reasons it is incumbent upon you to lead that conversation are several:
1. You are not in probable danger of physical harm for announcing to relative strangers you are heterosexual and like diametrically opposed genitals.
2. My part in a sexual interaction is to look for what I want. If I don’t care what is in your pants I have no reason to ask. I win no matter what. If you care- that is your responsibility to ensure that you are satisfied.

"that is your responsibility to ensure that you are satisfied. "
You mean like maybe by not dating people that might have genitals you're not sexually attracted to?

@ladychaos114- I’m not arguing. I’m educating. But reducing the danger to yourself.... by outing yourself as trans... is like saying you reduce the danger to yourself by being in isis territory and telling people you’re an American soldier. Plenty of people won’t do shit- but there is a statistical likelihood that you’ll encounter danger simply for being what you are. Please research violence against the trans community and the treatment faced by trans people and be smarter than a brick wall. Being less informed than a brick wall isn’t something I’d aspire to.

@garlog- yes. If you’re particularly choosey about the genitals of your partner- don’t go to bed with a person whom you don’t know what kind of genitals they have. It’s not very difficult. It’s no different than any other sexual encounter. If we get to bed- and you find something that is a deal breaker for you- leave in peace.

Look. Let me make this simple. I’m a hot whatever you’re into. We get to bed. I say: “put on this condom.” You say... “no. We go raw.” Well... one of us is either going to compromise... or that’s a deal breaker. Should I have told you when we met I don’t go raw? Do I need to tell you I have a scar you might not like, or a third nipple? That I have one or no balls because I had cancer? Does a woman need to tell you that she doesn’t do anal because she had a prolapse? No blow jobs because this person has a filling?

Should I need to tell you all my kinks or hangups? If we get to know each other, build trust and a bond- we should likely discuss these things at some point. But why does it fall on the trans community to have to tell you very personal and vulnerable things about themselves as a disclaimer?

If you have herpes- you should probably tell the other person before you actually HAVE SEX. First date? Maybe not. Second? Are you gonna have sex? Now- you can kiss all you want with genital herpes. And maybe you only PLAN to kiss. And things happen. You’re about to have sex. Ok. maybe NOW is the time. But until you’re THERE about to have sex... you don’t have to say shit. If you have oral herpes and your genitals are fine- do you need to disclose you have oral herpes if your mouth isn’t going to be involved in what you and the other person are doing? No.

It’s no more their business than if you are lactose intolerant or have a brain tumor. If they are going to suck your brain maybe they need to know- but if they can make it through sex with you without any risk, and don’t find out? What business is it of theirs?

Should a barely pregnant woman tell you before sex that she’s pregnant? What does that matter? You might find it a turn off thinking about pumping away with a baby inches from your member- so should you be informed? “Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m Anna. Im 2 weeks pregnant. Let’s fuck.”

Some people hate “sloppy seconds.” HATE it. They only want virgins. The idea of being with someone who has had another partner disgusts them. So... should we also volunteer that information before we have sex- or when we are just starting to get to know each other and haven’t decided if we will have sex?

And again- and this one goes to the brick wall fan club too- what if LIKE MANY TRANS WOMEN THEY DO NOT HAVE A DICK?! What do they say then: “hi. I don’t have a dick?” Well yeah. Women often don’t.

Look- some people only want rope play. Some only want fur suits or they only want Sub/son or whatever. They know not EVERYONE is like that- so... they often go on message boards, have clubs or events etc. That way they can meet other people like them. If your “thing” is you don’t want penises- make a message board. Ask. Talk about it. That’s your kink. No penises. Vaginas (or butts/mouths?) with no penis turns your crank. You’re into that. That’s cool. People like what they like man.

But 1. It’s about penises not about teams genderism. And 2. If a person who is a furry or likes BDSM meets some random stranger wherever in the world and they don’t talk to that person about their “thing-“ and they decide to have sex- they might not get what they want. That’s a risk THEY took because not everyone is like them and not everyone has what they want in sex.

”don’t go to bed with a person whom you don’t know what kind of genitals they have.”. How are you supposed to know what kind of genitals they have if they don’t TELL YOU?
And yea. A pregnant person should disclose that they are pregnant before sleeping with someone who isn’t the father. Someone looking to have a sexual relationship with someone ABSOLUTELY should be upfront about their kinks and what they will or won’t do. What planet do you live on where the only way people find out these things is by having unpleasant things happen to them first? Like “well. I know you just put it in my butt, but just so you know...I’m not into anal”. That makes no sense.

YOU are responsible for choosing your sexual partners who will fulfill YOUR sexual desires or requirements. The rest of the world is not responsible for advertising to. If you are not 100% sure the person you are taking to has no penis- and a penis is not acceptable to you- ask. Some restaurants tell you their food is locally sourced or not. Others don’t. If you care- ask. It’s nice some tell you- but having exotic broccoli on your plate won’t kill you any more than kissing someone with a penis will.

Yea. But if I KNOW for a fact I don’t like exotic broccoli, I’m going to ask for my meal WITHOUT it. If the restaurant tells me “yea, this is 100% Broccoli free”, then gives me a broccoli soup. I’d send that shit back and never go to that restaurant again. Did it kill me? No. But if someone forced me to eat it, I’d have words.

Ummm... there’s a difference between not telling you what is in the broccoli- and lying about it. We aren’t talking about trans people saying “I don’t have a penis” and then... whoopsie. They do. We are talking about wether trans people should tell you they have a penis.

Being trans isn’t a kink or a sexual preference. We aren’t talking about trans people
Getting upset that the person they took to bed has the wrong equipment. so why do THEY have to say anything? YOU are the one who doesn’t like penises. They... seem to be fine with penises. So YOU are the one with a reservation that YOU need to communicate.

You literally agreed with me. You said that unless restaurant lies about the broccoli (unless a trans person lies about their genitals) they did nothing wrong. You said you’d be smart enough to ask about where the broccoli comes from (what genitals they have) if you don’t know. Do you care more about where your broccoli comes from than if your partner has a penis?

And no. Where I come from- I know BEFORE I get in bed with a person if they have a penis. Where I come from we discuss our sexual desires and boundaries. We establish a safeword and we get to know each other on a level where we can have responsible, consensual, informed sex. We have already discussed contraception, etc. little details that aren’t so important or are in the moment usually get discussed in bed before the deed. Where does the cum go? Pull out or not? are you ok with this? Do you want more of this? Is this too hard? Etc.

So- where do YOU come from that you fuck someone who you haven’t even talked to enough to know if they have a dick? I’ve had hook ups. I’ve had irresponsible sex. I’ve “winged it” and just met someone and BAM- bathroom car whatever. I’ve had sex with at least one person where I still don’t know their name. But... that has risks. One of those risks is... they have a penis. Hell- if you don’t know well enough what genitals they even have how do you know you aren’t about to boff a kid? You don’t.

So- it behooves you- YOU, to do your homework. If you don’t care enough to find out- if you can’t be bothered to investigate the situation a bit before deciding to stick your dick in something- how do you know it isn’t a freaking hornets nest? And wow. You really think a pregnant woman should have to tell you that she is pregnant? Holy crap. Yeah. That’s your business. Her fetus.. is your business. Because... (?)

I guess she should also give you a list of all her past sexual partners? Maybe she slept with one of your friends, your dad or brother? Someone you can’t stand? A homeless guy? You should be told that too huh? Back to the baby... man. I can’t get over those stones. It’s not another man’s baby. Especially when I said 2 weeks pregnant. It’s barely another man’s zygote- and tomorrow it could be another garbage man’s morning pick up if she hits the clinic. So... what does it matter? You don’t own her, and she owes you jack shit.

See argument A: if you don’t know her well enough to know she’s got a fetus in her- then that’s on you you dirty dicked horn dog. It isn’t on the other person to tell you their life story. If you’re interested then find out. You’re calling the ball. This is your mission. You came for an asset. The asset is in a gray Jeep. You get a gray Jeep. The asset you came for isn’t in it. Wrong Jeep. Who’s fault is that? The guy driving his Jeep? No dingus. That’s on you. Just because you’ve done this 100 times before and feel cocky- do your job. Get enough intel to know what you are walking into. Do your due diligence and confirm your targets before you engage.

Dressing up as a woman, presenting yourself as a woman, picking up straight men, and not telling them that you are actually a male IS lying. It’s lying by omission. People shouldn’t have to go on every date going “hey girl, got a dick?” It’s on the person with the abnormal anatomy to speak up and say something. People shouldn’t have to assume that the woman they’re on a date with has a penis
Also you contradict yourself by saying people should know what their date has between their legs before getting into bed with them, then saying that trans people shouldn’t have to tell anyone. How are people supposed to know then? Psychic ability? The onus is on the trans
person to be upfront with their potential sexual partners. Unless you met them somewhere where the assumption is that they are into woman with penises, you should assume that a guy you picked up in the bar isn’t into dicks.

What do your words wen mean? How do women dress? It isn’t 1702 man. Women can and do where whatever they want. They style their hair however they like (even buzz cuts?!?! Whaaat!?)
And they may or may not where make up. How do men dress? About the same but perhaps slightly less so. Some wear foundation or “guy liner” or more. Heck- Most screen personalities where makeup- many rock stars too. David Bowie was often called feminine or androgynous.

I can’t anymore. This entire conversation makes me wanna hit my head into a wall. You win kiddo. Have fun trapping straight men. Or whatever it is you say it’s okay to do.

So what are these ill defined criteria for “dressing” or “looking” like a woman? Does a man with long hair fall into this category? Many are often mistaken for women, especially from behind. What about my old Filipino friend who had a twin sister? That could be confusing- especially when they would get identical haircuts and do the whole “twinsy” thing for fun.

And here’s a news flash for you- many trans women... are women. Not just in their self identity, but legally, on paper- women. Woman enough for the government, not woman enough for you it seems. So- we are back there again. It is YOU who have some amorphous personal standard of what constitutes a woman. A burger comes the way it comes unless YOU order it different. If the restaurant puts onions in their patties, and you order your burger “plain,” and they give you a burger with no toppings but onions in the patty- it was incumbent upon YOU to make clear you want NO vegetables.

Not in the patty, on the burger, on the freaking plate. If you order it plain and they serve t with a pickle on the side and that pickle juice gets on your bun and now you’re upset- that’s how THEY serve a burger. To them- that is a burger. YOU want a certain thing. YOU need to communicate what you want.

In YOUR head a burger is just ground beef patty and cheese on a bun. In their head- a burger is another way. They told you what THEY want. The burger is $10.50. Ok. There is an agreement they will get the $10.50 THEY want. Their end is covered. On your end- you want this SPECIFIC configuration of burger. YOU have to cover your end and make sure that YOU are getting what you want. You cannot assume that they will have the same definition of burger as you- and it isn’t their job to do so because they are just serving the burger the way it is.

You’re scared. You’re scared because until fairly recently you thought you could tell at a glance if someone was a person you’d like to have sex with. Now you aren’t sure you can. That stigma this whole post is originally about- that fear that it somehow lessens you- that you could find a person with a penis attractive enough to take them to bed- that scares you. It makes you question who you are and how other people would see you. Because in your mind there is a stigma to gays and transgender folk. You might say “I don’t care. They can do what they want. I support them I just don’t want to be them...” What’s so bad about being them? “No. Not like that. I just don’t like penises.” Well... if you find yourself in bed with a person with a penis... you find at least one person with a penis affective wether you like their penis or not.

It’s confusing for you. Perhaps uncomfortable. Let’s say we have a female body builder. Looks like Arnold in his prime but with a more feminine face. If you find her body attractive- does that mean that d Arnold didn’t have a penis his body would turn you on? What about a flat chested woman? If a man can be turned on looking at a flat chested woman... does that mean he could be turned on lookin at a man?

How deep does this rabbit hole go I wonder? Pretty deep. Because it turns out that your requirements to find a person sexually attractive generally go beyond “does this person have a vagina?” If Chris Evans had a vagina- would you hook up with him? What about the plus sized among us? What about bigger ladies that aren’t super chesty? What is so different in that body than a large man? If you would have sec with a larger woman, does that mean you’d have sex with a larger man if he had a vagina and a pretty face?

What about the “butter face?” People will have sex with people who’s faces they don’t find attractive but who’s body they find attractive. That’s why “butter face” is a real term for men and women. Hell- sometimes people have sec with others simply because they like a single exceptional feature of that person and dislike just about everything else.

So attraction seems to be a complicated thing- and how many gay or lesbian or bi sexual people don’t discover or experience that part of their lives until later in life? The “gold star” homosexual who has only slept with their preferred gender and never another isn’t super common or else there wouldn’t be a word for that either.

Then we look at just how darn popular transgender pornography is. On some porn sites- it is one of or THE most popular categories- especially in states notorious for open rejection of such things like North Carolina. So... please. Tell me again the reasons why a transsexual person should assume that a man wouldn’t want them?

And while you think about that... let’s examine that statement. Your whole stance is basically that transgender people should assume there is something wrong with them. Some reason that in sex and romance, they don’t belong in the mainstream. You said it yourself. It’s somewhat odd and perhaps insulting for two non trans people to meet and verify each other’s genitals as a precursor to getting to know each other isn’t it? They “belong” there in the dating pool amongst “normal” folk don’t they? But... these transsexuals.... they carry a condition akin to an STD that they have a responsibility to inform the community of if they choose to approach “normal folk” in the every day world. Why don’t they just stick to clubs and venues meant for people like them where they know that their existence doesn’t offend or off put people huh?

Back a way you basically said so yourself. If other “undesirables” like ugmos or fatties try to sneak into your “normal” bed- you can spot them at the door. You can avoid them and not be “tricked” into getting to know them as a person and possibly developing feeling beyond a superficial attraction. And hell- they’re fine to have around because if you get desperate or horns enough- that’s an easy lay down to clear your sack right? But these trannies- oh man. If you sex one, and they have a dick- you’ll catch the gay. Then how will you ever look at yourself?

So I think o get where you’re coming from now. You’re looking out for public safety. You fear the suicide rate of strapping “normal” men might skyrocket if at last call they grab a tranny instead of a fatty for a one night stand to empty their balls and get their head straight. In that regards I suppose you’re being noble. Perhaps- we could make you comfortable by making it so you could visually identify who had what genitals? Maybe... like we could pick a group (for practicality sakes it should probably be the group there are the less of,) and they can have to wear little arm bands or something in public so that people don’t accidentally get tricked by how similar some look to “normal folk” and sex them? Then you don’t have to ask or worry about it or get to know them before sex, and I’m sure with them out in the open people would treat them well. Like you say early- it would probably increase their overall safety and help them find their own kind right?

Then the folk who want nothing to do with them can just avoid them and all will be happier. Although... I feel like that might draw some unfavorable parallels in history. Huh. Well... I guess then the next best thing would be.... don’t sleep with people if you don’t know their genitals unless you’re fine with whatever you get.

And here’s a news flash for you fellow rocket scientist- you keep trying to say “that applies both ways!” It does! If we were talking about transgender people being upset to find out the guy they just picked up at the bar has a penis- I’d tell them the same thing! But that isn’t what we are talking about is it? Odds are they weren’t surprised by YOUR genitals- you are the one with a problem with THEIR genitals. They did enough o make sure they would be happy with what they got- it’s YOU who didn’t.

If a pre op trans woman accidentally picked up a pre op trans man, and both assumed the other were the biological sex they appeared to be, and were then disappointed to discover that they had the opposite genitals of their assumed biological sex- that’s on THEM. they should have made sure they were getting what they wanted. If the two decide to have sex anyway- it doesn’t really matter.

But... @ladychaos114- let’s get away from the politics and analogies and complexities. Let me put forward a simple argument that sums it up. Something most children are taught- something life tends to instill in most people who manage success: no one else is responsible for YOUR assumptions. If you see me wearing a cross and ASSUME I am Christian- that is on YOU. Madonna wore crosses and used religious themes in the “like a virgin” video. If you play that video for your church without checking it out at all because you ASSUME it’s Christian rock- you are a fool and careless. You will reap the fruits of foolishness.

If you ASSUME your boss will be ok with you coming in late but they are not- is that on your boss or on YOU? If you ASSUME that because it is a cartoon- this “Hentai” will be perfect for your nephews kids party- that is on you. If you ASSUME the dog won’t bite and pet it- that is on you. If you ASSUME that your car will tell you when it needs an oil change and I the engine seizes up- that’s on you. It is your life. Be careless if you like- but the effects of that carelessness are on you. If you ride a motorcycle without a helmet in shorts and a bumpy road makes you fall- it isn’t the roads fault that you lost your skin. You didn’t protect yourself. That is ON YOU.

Part of the stigma this discusses is your attitude. It isn’t a trans persons fault for being alive. For being who they are. For having sexual desires. They aren’t “tricking” anyone. They aren’t witches. They aren’t “dressing up as women.” Many ARE legally women and to THEM many ARE women. The fact they aren’t woman enough for you is YOUR issue. You ask to see the manager a lot I wonder? No. You shouldn’t have any responsibility. Why should you have to take any active part in who you fuck beyond wether they are in a dress and have tits? Grow up. You are responsible for you decisions. If you don’t have the information to make an infirmary decision and make it anyway- who else is to blame that you couldn’t get enough data to satisfy your need for information? You’re an adult.

If you don’t know the rate on the credit card then don’t sign for the card. The company didn’t trick you. You were too stupid to ask and stupid enough to enter an agreement not knowing what you were agreeing to- because you ASSUMED they’d have low rates since cards like that usually do. Don’t blame others for your ignorance.

@ladychaos114- I don’t know how effective I’d be at “trapping” or “tricking” anyone given thatch gender identity matches my biological sex, and I dress and present myself in a relatively traditionally conservative manner to that gender role. But- you raise an interesting point. Perhaps a person might approach me thinking I AM transgender and well... by your logic I suppose I should need to tell them upfront what is in my pants so that they aren’t surprised when they discover I am not transgender?