Choose wisely my friends

I wouldn't choose any, knowing my luck I'd end up killing myself/someone close

I choose the words. You can create worlds with them.

Wand.

Why would i need 5 foot long anal beads?... Oh

Sonic screwdriver
(I think that's what it's called, right? I'm really bad at this. I just know it's cool)

There ain't no celestial bronze sword there.

Well since I'm holding THAT sonic...

Excalibur but I'm old fashioned.

Lightsaber easy

I'm taking the screwdriver whenever it's possible

The real question is, do you receive the abilities along with the item? If so, then lightsaber. If not, then Excalibur.

Lightsaber.
Red lightsaber.

Staff because I don't want to accidentally dismember myself, or accidently break a fragile wand or sonic screw, and I'd rather kill someone from a distance than up close with an Excalibur

Gimme dat Screwdriver.
I'll track the nearest Tardis and become a companion

I'm Scottish so... Excalibur. Yes. Definitely Excalibur.

The wand

Can't I have half light saber and half sonic screwdriver?

*grabs them all and runs* NO ONE CAN STOP ME NOW

Where is the master sword

Screwdriver, easy. It has seemingly infinite uses, the magic ones can't be used by me and I probably couldn't get the sword out either. Lightsaber would be cool but I have no use for it and I have no training so I'd probably end up cutting a leg off instead of deflecting bullets. And yes I do realise I took this way too seriously

The wand, you can use magic to mess up all the other devices

Excalibur isn't it supposed to be the sword that something something came from light or heaven?

Anal beads?

Lightsabre.

(Star Wars theme song plays)
Me: grabs light saber

I don't see a Time Vortex Manipulator anywhere. Or a Sonic Blaster.

where is the energy sword?

are those anal beads?

Excalibur makes it so you cannot lose, that's its power so like it's the only option

I'd choose either the wand or the staff so I could conjure the others