Maybe you could go with some friends. Maybe a guy friend who could aid in deterring attention. I don't like gyms, but where I live there is a small quaint one that everyone (talking like three people) keep to themselves. Wear headphones.
Desensitize yourself. Imagine every possible scenario or outcome from the worst to the best over and over again for several days beforehand. Then go face your fear, you'll find it's nowhere near as bad as you thought.
This is why I like my gym it has a woman's section. Where it is only for woman to work out. It also has a men's section. Each section has the exact same equipment just one is upstairs one is down stairs. Than there is the section that both can use if you don't care.
I think all gyms should have this. It uses the same amount of machines and space as any normal gym just divides it up. It even has a gender neutral changing room. Plus a girls and boys of course.
Never heard of a place having a male, female, and gender neutral changing room. Sounds like a better solution than forcing women and men to share them.
Going with a gym buddy (especially a guy) or having a personal trainer will often reduce the odds. But- you just have to say fuck it. You have goals and the gym is likely the best place to reach them. Put your goals first and just stay on track. It can be award being harassed or ogled- but most gyms are reasonably safe places where someone will help you if you can’t get a person to respect your wishes. Stoping fear is a personal thing- but I can tell you all in all if you stop and think it out there’s not really a consequence derived from your fear here, but there is consequence in not going to the gym.
See, I actually have that problem myself, with women. I’m 6’ and have a very healthy build (mostly muscle, but not overbearing where it dominates my looks). Whenever I work out, I hate the thought of having women stare at me because of how I’m a moniker of good health. Some of you may find this “role-reversal” comical, but I assure you, it’s not. I have a fiancée I’m very happy with, and these women just make me uncomfortable. Last night at work, some girls came through the restaurant where I work, and said out loud that I was cute as I walked by. I hate it. I understand how women feel when they’re objectified. It’s a dirty, inadequate feeling. I live in WI where everyone is drunk all the damn time, and women are super forward.
Nah. I understand. I used to get the same problem with men and women- and well many wouldn’t consider it a problem, it is when it’s unwanted. Relationships you may be in etc. asides- the gym is a place where you have goals- you’re focused and trying to get the most out of your training. If I wanted to meet people I’d be in a social setting, not at a squat rack.
I think a gym buddy is the best way to approach this. Take a gym buddy of your same gender and sexual preference (so, probably hetero female). The gym buddy must be willing to work out within 10 feet of you. S/he will handle any approaches and model responses.
Once you’ve been in situation you’re comfortable with many times, you *should* learn that there is very little to worry about and develop confidence in your gym mates. You may not always need a gym buddy.
If my friend was scared to go to the gym, I would go with her. I could work out when she did, just no headphones, and stay with her. It’s not fun to be afraid. My life experiences have taught me that being at a gym is probably *safer* than many other places. It’s got guys who care about themselves and who are putting effort into a self-improvement project. (Cont)
There may be some weirdos, but it’s pretty gutsy to go to the gym strictly to harass or even bother females. First, because you’ll probably be thrown out if you do (for several reasons). Second, because you’re more likely to be confronted - up to and included a beatdown.
The type of guy who comes to the gym to workout on the regular is usually patient, kind, and focused. His workout plan is just another thing he committed to. His personal relationships are usually strong, and he takes his responsibilities seriously.
He is not interested in being patient or overlooking selfish or predatory behavior. He is offended as a man that women have to be afraid or polite when they are uncomfortable. He will not be kind to or ignore the moron who is abusing the gym or the good nature of the ladies trying to have a pleasant time and take care of their health.
Look, it is beyond unacceptable to make someone interact with you when they are stuck somewhere. Exercising is definitely one of those times! So the people around you are invested in having no such behavior.
This is my experience, based on who I know. If you have a gym where it is tolerated, MOVE. I would bet a lot of money that is not the typical in your area.
If it’s a regular gym, with normal gym attitudes, sit a friend down and explain you are afraid to go. You need some help. Get your friend to accompany you. Watch carefully and observe people brushing off unwanted attention. Find people who you feel are safe. If necessary, try different times or even gyms until you are in a space you are comfortable. Pick a gym that has reliable parking close to the door. Maybe pick one that has a person who is required or able to walk you to your car as soon as you ask?
You’re not required to be uncomfortable so you’re “not causing trouble”. It’s your Earth, too. Enjoy it.
If you already attend the gym a lot but just get scared, yeah, that’s reasonable. Take prevention measures as I mention, including picking a gym that acts against weirdos. That way they aren’t there to hang around inside or outside and bother you during workout or as you leave.
I think all gyms should have this. It uses the same amount of machines and space as any normal gym just divides it up. It even has a gender neutral changing room. Plus a girls and boys of course.
Once you’ve been in situation you’re comfortable with many times, you *should* learn that there is very little to worry about and develop confidence in your gym mates. You may not always need a gym buddy.
If my friend was scared to go to the gym, I would go with her. I could work out when she did, just no headphones, and stay with her. It’s not fun to be afraid. My life experiences have taught me that being at a gym is probably *safer* than many other places. It’s got guys who care about themselves and who are putting effort into a self-improvement project. (Cont)
The type of guy who comes to the gym to workout on the regular is usually patient, kind, and focused. His workout plan is just another thing he committed to. His personal relationships are usually strong, and he takes his responsibilities seriously.
He is not interested in being patient or overlooking selfish or predatory behavior. He is offended as a man that women have to be afraid or polite when they are uncomfortable. He will not be kind to or ignore the moron who is abusing the gym or the good nature of the ladies trying to have a pleasant time and take care of their health.
This is my experience, based on who I know. If you have a gym where it is tolerated, MOVE. I would bet a lot of money that is not the typical in your area.
If it’s a regular gym, with normal gym attitudes, sit a friend down and explain you are afraid to go. You need some help. Get your friend to accompany you. Watch carefully and observe people brushing off unwanted attention. Find people who you feel are safe. If necessary, try different times or even gyms until you are in a space you are comfortable. Pick a gym that has reliable parking close to the door. Maybe pick one that has a person who is required or able to walk you to your car as soon as you ask?
You’re not required to be uncomfortable so you’re “not causing trouble”. It’s your Earth, too. Enjoy it.