Also don't care about your Ex

Oh, it happens. I've had partners who hid their pads so I wouldn't know.

I think it’s all the guys who are like “ick!” “I don’t want to hear about that!” Etc. Etc. Along with... well just social stigma and media. I don’t know too many women who aren’t mortified if they get some bleed through on their pants, or if a new boyfriend etc. saw their period panties as opposed to just a “regular pair” and yet- most women I know have had bleed through or have at least one pair of “period panties” (spoiler: given enough time they all eventually become period panties...) so it’s a bit strange. We know women get periods, anyone who spends time with women (especially women themselves) know much of this stuff is normal... but there’s often embarrassment and avoidance.

I liken it to “everybody poops/farts.” How many people either avoid farting early in a relationship? Some people won’t fart or be in the bathroom with an So... basically ever. Often people try to hide that they went or need to go #2.. especially on dates or early in the relationship. How many stories go: “I was so embarrassed. We’d been going out a couple dates and I made a stinky poop at their house!” Ummm... poop tends to stink that is what poop is. That’s almost half of what a toilet is for. I paid for the toilet so good thing it’s getting used for what I bought it for.

I get early in a relationship during that stage where we all pretend we are descendants of some higher perfect beings and don't want our potential partners scared off by the nitty gritty (or aren't comfortable enough to let them in that far). Hell, even if he's uncomfortable talking about the subject in general, I can understand that. Someone may be uncomfortable if he starts talking to them about his balls itching. Not unreasonable.
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I also understand a guy saying "hey, would you mind wrapping your pads up when you throw them out? It's kinda gross having them just sit in the trash like that." <- and I 100% agree with anyone who would say that. But to me that's the same as telling someone "hey, don't leave your hair all over the drain/sink ffs." That's hygiene, not shaming over a body function.
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None of that is the equivalent of someone actively attempting to mock or genuinely make fun of/shame/pressure someone because they got their period

Somehow Indiana made Mike Pence Governor, even though he can't have lunch alone with another woman. That's enough, just in Indiana alone, that proves these sorts of thought-trains are a problem. It gets even worse than that though, apparently some of these assholes seriously believe a woman who was raped can have her own body consciously decide if they get pregnant. These dumbasses could really help themselves by putting their heads between legs instead of sand and opening their ears instead of closing them because the sand might get in their earholes.

Pence not dining alone with women is the same as Keanu doing the hover hand, a doctor offering their patient a chaperone, or an officer wearing a bodycam.

Oh man. I don’t want to touch the “not dining alone” etc with women thing. For many there is a religious component- lots of Evangelicals don’t believe that (especially married) men should be alone or even be friends beyond causal acquaintance with women they aren’t married to.

And there’s a possible double sided coin of me tooism to it of course- where men have power- a form of sexual distress to women is often reported as a FEELING that they were expected to behave a certain way, or a FEAR that they would be asked to do something- and this an make women uncomfortable. So there is an element of respect to the woman in just nipping that in the bud. If we aren’t having a private meeting- there isn’t pressure on the woman that I might try something or have ulterior motive- there is far less chance of a misunderstanding where she feels that under those circumstances something I do or say is some sort of code that sexual favors are expected etc. And of course on the other side- especially as a powerful man- it can safeguard you against the danger of false accusation or misunderstanding which can cause scandal or ruin- to have witnesses who can set events straight or lend perspective so it isn’t “he said she said.”

But... it’s sticky right? I can admit that I wouldn’t fault a woman for being uncomfortable or declining to spend time with a man alone- one she doesn’t know very well anyway at least- most people wouldn’t. It seems practical- prudent. And to feel that way when the person is a woman, but to feel differently if it is a man is inherently sexist. It implies both that women are by nature victims unable to hold their own- and men are by nature predators who are somehow lessened if they “fear” a woman.

It’s more complex than that though because certain realities of the common power dynamic of the average male and female etc. etc. all get very nuanced and problematic. It would be a lot to sort through. We all KNOW Elizabeth Warren probably doesn’t have the same odds that she’d be put in a compromising position as say- a 20 year old intern with a quarter bouncing booty- Warren has a level of status and power- but also- and it’s problematic to say... no woman is immune from harassment but certain superficialities increase the likelihood of a woman being targeted for inappropriate advances.

I can’t be clear enough when I say- ALL women can be harassed- all people can be. I’m not going to spend 19 more posts breaking it down. Don’t go getting all flustered at my words here. Use your best judgement and take on faith I’m not saying anything super bone headed. Elizebeth Warren just isn’t in the “PRIME” demographic of most men’s first draft fantasy sex leagues- but that doesn’t mean that she couldn’t or wouldn’t be harassed- especially with a phenomenon in male dominated environments we have dubbed “the last bottle of hot sauce at the Taqueria” in which men both compete for attention and are opportunistic often to where what is available is a target.

But I dunnoh- maybe that’s how we make that “right” and not sexist- maybe the lack of respect for his position is that.. well... how do we know he isn’t gay or bi? Would it make you feel like a priest were above scandal if they refused to see female kids alone and only saw little boys alone? If Kevin Spacey only saw men alone? Plenty of hardcore “anti homosexual” politicians have been caught with a sausage in their breakfast burrito. So maybe in 2020 the way to avoid problems on and off the court is to just refuse to meet PEOPLE alone?

I’d like to see politicians never be alone. The office should be a burden. Like a reality show- they could have a certain limit to privacy- say for example their bedrooms at home- but I’d like to see body cams and the like as the norm. I think when you take office- for your term of office- you should surrender certain personal things in the interest of the job- of serving the people and providing honest and transparent government.

But but... without rape and incest we wouldn't have the dumpsterfire we call humanity today!
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As a side note - not just Keanu Reeves. I've heard men talk about being afraid to get on elevators alone with women anymore. Or even go to their houses for hookups. Which tbh I think is probably a good practice anyway, but still. We're reaching an age where men are just as terrified of what will happen to them because some wretch had nothing better to do that scream sexual assault or physical assault where there wasn't any
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And no, for all the people prepared to leap up - I'm not saying all women who claim to have been assaulted haven't been. Not saying anything at all about actual victims.
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I'm saying we've entered into a depressing age where men and women seem to be locked in an eternal "vs" that's damaging everyone

I would agree in large part- mainly on the damage if the adversarial nature of many of these things. We can hopefully all agree that rape or sexual assault are wrong- that we should respect each other’s boundaries and proclivities (each OTHERS- 2 ways...) yet... so much fighting. We agree on the principals at the core as a society by and large. We agree there is a problem- but we aren’t really working together to solve it- just fighting. Debate and discussion are tools of resolution but the animosity and fear and all that... not constructive.

I think to a degree it’s the “freshman 15” of social progress. Sam was always at home, couldn’t really stay up too late or drink or choose their own food and clothing and make their own schedule. Then they suddenly get the power to do so aaand- they use it. Perhaps a bit heavily to compensate for all that time Sam couldn’t just decide to stay gone and smoke a bowl on the couch when they were repressed. The person who gets their first high paying job blah blah- it’s a common thing as humans. We tend to go a bit overboard when we finally gain something we have wanted but never had- until we learn to self moderate.

So really- honestly- things like sexual harassment and the comfort level of especially women- and even rape- behind certain types and dynamics of rape for a time and place- historically weren’t taken so seriously in law and society. Now people are listening. Now people have a voice and there is real push to change things. That’s great. We need to listen and change is needed. But... some people are adjusting to having a voice and taking pent up feelings- especially anger and resentment- and using this to exercise those instead of trying to be constructive. And extremism breeds extremism- so then dimes the push back from those who see such radical and sometimes punitive and pointless change- as a threat. We need to stop the feedback cycle and find a good even keel.

@famousone know the fuck it's not. If the goddamn smartest doctor in the room needs to have a conversation with the VP, they need to be able to have that conversation, gender be damned. His wife doesn't get access to that information because he can't trust himself (which really says more about him).

Also, why is Mike Pence even leading the charge on this? This isn't is fucking job. Oh, wait, that position is empty and the CDC was slashed by 80% a year and a half ago. Fucking stable genius.
Seriously, what the actual fuck?

@guest_ you don't have to even touch the woman thing; just look at what happened when this fuckhead tried to pray the HIV away.

Side note: if you need to get dust out of your keyboard on a laptop, just close it, flip it upside down, tap on it, open it back up and wipe the dust that fell on your screen. I knocked my laptop over as I was getting out of my chair and I noticed that. Cleaned up a lot of dust <_<ddd

There too. That can have stubble- and some people- especially women- get embarrassed by it when they’re between waxes or haven’t shaved- and... that’s what hair does. It grows back. Why would someone be upset you can grow body hair? It means you’re at least of age for puberty and you aren’t a sex doll or a dolphin so it’s pretty reasonable to assume there’d be hair in certain places. People remove hair for hygiene or other personal reasons and that’s fine if they want to. I’m not hating on it if someone chooses to- I’m just saying it’s nothing to be embarrassed about but some people are- and some people (especially men) often treat it like leprosy or walking around with a turd in your pocket to have some hair. Sad but true.

I was kind of including that in the "thighs" category but I can see how that wouldn't be clear

I actually don't mind the hair. It's not like I love it, but I also don't it. When I shave down under, it's the same situatation, so the same is true for my partner as well. It would be hypocritic as fuck to not be ok with it.

I prefer a little hair, as stubble can scrape and people got lives. Waxing... eh... if she wants to do it, sure, but I don't want her to go through useless pain thinking that it matters to me.

Yeah, if you don't prefer shaving. Trimming is always there