I’m not. Unless they are also taking turns paying rent/mortgage, buying food, buying the plates, and cooking the food to put on the plates then she can clean the dishes. You want equality you can’t narrow it down to one task.
That said, if other stuff is equal, “clean your own mess” IS feminism. So freakin’ many dudes are raised to assume they don’t have to if there’s a woman present.
Kids do chores instead of paying to live in a house. I don't know about other countries but that's pretty much how it works here. And she seems like an adult, old enough to move out, maybe I'm wrong. You exchange services for free rent basically. I'm not saying he should be an ass, but this just sounds like someone asking someone to contribute
Not enough info to tell, really. I’ve seen both “adult kid who won’t contribute” and “parent whom you pay rent and buy your own food, etc., but still expects you to do all housework for them because they let you live here” situations.
Growing up I did plenty of chores but considering I contribute to rent and all now is it fair if I have to clean up after my mum? But you could argue that since she contributes more money cause she gets more money that the only way I can make up for it is by cleaning up after her. But I’m my opinion, if I had kids just cause I pay the bills I won’t expect them to clean MY mess. Cleaning up the house cause we all live in it etc, doing their own laundry, cleaning their own plates yes but I won’t feel like just cause I pay for them that they need to be cleaning up my mess or my room or any of it. I just feel like that’s one way to teach them that if someone has “power” over them then they have to bend over backwards for them. Like their value is based solely on how useful they are. I just don’t like it. You don’t have to agree
I actually meant my comment at scatmandingo but see I hate washing dishes, even my own so I hate coming home at the end of a long day to a sink full of someone else’s plates that would still bother me until I did them
I consider shopping, cooking, and washing dishes to be related to each other. I have two kids that are 8 and 10. I get them to help me shop for the groceries and I pay for them. They help put them away when we get home. When it’s time for a meal I am the one who cooks and sets the table. Once the meal is done they clear the table, take what’s in the dishwasher out and put it away and put any dirty dishes into the washer. This would include incidental dishes from throughout the day regardless of who dirtied them. On the odd occasion the older child cooks a meal then the younger and I do the dishes. I feel like this is a fair distribution of labor and capital expenditure.
Of course this would be rebalanced if the kids started buying groceries or cooking more often. In regards to other tasks we all share responsibility for common areas and care for our own rooms individually (within certain standards dictated by me). With laundry they collect it and bring it to me. I wash, dry, and fold. They put the folded items away. Then again I’m the one who buys the clothes so that needs to be factored in as well. I think that’s what gets glossed over. Parents should be The providers but kids should help maintain the household.
I once had almost the same situation with my Dad, and knowing that he can be considered a feminist himself (when it comes to us at least) I asked him "do you want your daughter to do the dishes? Is that what I'm studying for, to become a slave?" to which he replied "You haven't finished your studies so you haven't become anything. Do the dishes." I really set myself up for this one.
Her point shouldn't be feminism. It should be that it's his own mess and not her job to clean it up, unless they take turns.