Yeah I never understood this mentality. Arguably not a great thing to do, but at the end of the day it's up to the guy to be loyal to the girl and visa versa. Anyone outside the relationship owes neither of them anything in that regard, unless maybe they're friends or family
I get that sentiment and I’m all for not blaming someone especially if they didn’t know the person they are sleeping with is in a relationship. But if she did know, then fuck her. True she has no obligation but it’s still a shitty thing to do and you get what you get.
A single person fucking someone is a shitty thing to do? What? He wasn't unconscious for it was he?
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-Single person (Girl in this case) is looking for a lover.
-Single person meets another person (will assume it's a guy) they are attracted to. They decide to see if the guy is interested in them, too.
-Guy is interested, and pursues a relationship with the single girl.
-Guy has already made a promise to a third person (assume it's a woman) NEVER to fuck another person.
-Guy fucks another person anyway.
-Girl has likely never met this woman. Girl becomes aware of the promise this guy made. Promise has literally nothing to do with her whatsoever. She promised nothing to anyone at all.
-She makes the decision that she is under no obligation to honor a promise made between two other people
-Woman finds out guy broke his promise.
-Woman decides to blame the GIRL for wrecking the home she wasn't part of.
No one has to Like what she did, but blaming her for "wreaking the home" and saying she deserves to be slut-shamed for the GUY's complete inability to keep it in his pants is one of the weirder trains of logic, and I've never been able to get on board with it.
I'm pretty sure there is, in fact, a moral obligation to respect the marriage as a whole. The husband is the most to blame, but it's still a cunty move.
There's a moral obligation to respect just about everything in existence. Like I said repeatedly - you don't have to LIKE that she was involved with him. Getting involved with someone already involved with someone is always a bad idea and will lead to a shit ton of problems you really don't need. So maybe we don't throw this girl a parade for making a bad judgement call.
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But at the end of the day the upkeep of the relationship is the job of the two involved parties 95 times out of 100
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Honestly I'd find her worse if she's actively had sex in their bed or some shitty
I never said the guy wasn’t to blame and we don’t know if she did blame the guy. For all we know she may have divorced him because he is the most at fault here, for sure. And you’re right, she has no obligation to this other woman but if she did know she was married and still did what she did, then I think this woman has every right to be angry at her. Like I said, in my opinion, it’s a shitty thing to do.
For the second time today I find myself astounded by the powers of observation being wielded on this website, garlog. It only took me saying you don't have to like it, and that it's morally questionable multiple times in a row for you to reach that conclusion. Though whether it's truly shitty in some ways depends on the context.
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As for the rest, like I said: I don't see any point in attacking a third party for a betrayal committed by a significant other. That sounds like absolute insanity to me, but I'm weird like that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Tbh the thing I find the weirdest is your continued attempt to simultaneously agree, argue, and ignore one very specific thing I've said. You've devoted a good deal of comments to this effort now and I can't for the life of me imagine how that's a worthwhile investment of your time.
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It wasn't in her power to destroy the relationship. If the guy had turned her down the relationship would have been fine.
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If I don't eat meat, and my spouse promises to never eat meat, someone offering him meat in no way forces him to eat it. And if he chooses to eat the meat - EVEN IF THEY KNEW I didn't want him eating meat, I don't go burn the meat vendor's hut to the ground because my spouse ate their meat.
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If my spouse told the meat vender to fuck off and the meat vendor refused and continued attempting to force meat on them, or lay traps to make it look like he had eaten meat, that's an entirely different matter.
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Simply my perspective ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It takes two to tango, I never understood blaming the outside person for "wrecking" something, if anything they exposed that your partner is a piece of shit and you're better off without them.
Now of course pursuing someone even though you know they're in a relationship is still an absolutely shitty thing to do and you do share the blame if you do that, but the third person isn't the one who took the wedding vows.
Actually it takes three in most of the cases. If the wrecked home was so great, nobody would have cheated. The reason for cheating is more oftenly to be found in the relationship than in the persons.
Yeah, no. If your home life isn't great you don't get to drag your spouse into the blame for you cheating. You did it. You could have gotten a divorce, but you didn't.
It's no blame shifting if you go to the bottom and search for the root cause. If the relationship is shit, it's the fault of both stakeholders. Unfortunately not everyone is coping with situations like this the same way.
Nah, my man, nah. I'm of a pretty relativist mind myself, especially when it comes to cultures and traditions, but this isn't a good justification. It's like saying "someone copes with hating their job by quitting, someone kills their boss! Not everyone is coping with situations like this the same way, can't judge! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ " Like, under these specific circumstances (as in, the people involved living in a first world country where divorce is an option and arranged marriages are not a thing), one solution is very clearly better.
Easier said than done. There is a reason why every second marriage goes down the drain and in almost 75% of the cases it's because one of them cheated.
I'm not picking a side, I'm referring to the reality in so-called first world countries.
And your comparison is pretty exaggerated, as killing somebody is way out of discussion for the vast majority of people, while cheating definitely isn't, qed.
I myself would have every reason to jump on the marriage wrecker train, as my soon to be ex wife cheated, but in the complexity of human relationships, there is no easy answer for nobody.
Rather than doing this, she could sue her for undue stress; it's been done and the wife won. Plus she took her husband for everything she could. Doing this can create more problems for the wife.
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-Single person (Girl in this case) is looking for a lover.
-Single person meets another person (will assume it's a guy) they are attracted to. They decide to see if the guy is interested in them, too.
-Guy is interested, and pursues a relationship with the single girl.
-Guy has already made a promise to a third person (assume it's a woman) NEVER to fuck another person.
-Guy fucks another person anyway.
-Girl has likely never met this woman. Girl becomes aware of the promise this guy made. Promise has literally nothing to do with her whatsoever. She promised nothing to anyone at all.
-She makes the decision that she is under no obligation to honor a promise made between two other people
-Woman finds out guy broke his promise.
-Woman decides to blame the GIRL for wrecking the home she wasn't part of.
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But at the end of the day the upkeep of the relationship is the job of the two involved parties 95 times out of 100
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Honestly I'd find her worse if she's actively had sex in their bed or some shitty
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As for the rest, like I said: I don't see any point in attacking a third party for a betrayal committed by a significant other. That sounds like absolute insanity to me, but I'm weird like that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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It wasn't in her power to destroy the relationship. If the guy had turned her down the relationship would have been fine.
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If I don't eat meat, and my spouse promises to never eat meat, someone offering him meat in no way forces him to eat it. And if he chooses to eat the meat - EVEN IF THEY KNEW I didn't want him eating meat, I don't go burn the meat vendor's hut to the ground because my spouse ate their meat.
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If my spouse told the meat vender to fuck off and the meat vendor refused and continued attempting to force meat on them, or lay traps to make it look like he had eaten meat, that's an entirely different matter.
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Simply my perspective ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Now of course pursuing someone even though you know they're in a relationship is still an absolutely shitty thing to do and you do share the blame if you do that, but the third person isn't the one who took the wedding vows.
I'm not picking a side, I'm referring to the reality in so-called first world countries.
And your comparison is pretty exaggerated, as killing somebody is way out of discussion for the vast majority of people, while cheating definitely isn't, qed.
I myself would have every reason to jump on the marriage wrecker train, as my soon to be ex wife cheated, but in the complexity of human relationships, there is no easy answer for nobody.