I was bi in high school, no one really knew, cause i didn't date, and i have never had a crush on a girl, but yeah. btw Snopes, i love you and all ur comments lol.
I honestly don't know if I'm bi or not. I'm a girl and I've got a crush on my transgendered (girl to boy) friend. We were best friends in elementary, then she moved away. We got back in touch via Facebook after graduation and Ive developed a crush but I'm unable to tell him cause I don't want it to get awkward between us
I have a trans friend and it literally makes her cry out of happiness when some guy flirts with her. Just forget about the bi thing, you like who you like. Your friend is now a guy, so it'd be a heterosexual thing if you two got together.
Can't help you with the awkward thing, but I'll give you one bit of advice; it's easier to deal with awkwardness than it is to deal with the 'what if's.
I'm the guest from above. Thank you snopes. That makes me feel better. I have no problem if I were to be bi, I just wanted to know if me liking him knowing him as a girl made me bi. It doesn't help that my parents (especially my father) both say they'd love me regardless of orientation, yet my father openly insults gays. I'm gonna try to work up the courage to ask him now
That's terrible.. Your father should respect people. I'm a transguy myself. If you need to talk (because even dating or being friends with a transperson can be hard) my tumblr is Songofthewhitestag.
Im kind of questioning my sexuality, I mean I know I like guys, but it catch myself checking out girls as well and I don't know if that's normal or if I'm Bi or at least Bicurious
I am exactly the same! I have a boyfriend and we are madly in love but occasionally I'll catch myself looking at both girls and guys, but I only feel sexually attracted to boys. Lol idk.
Hey, im the first guest from this. Songofthewhitestag, I finally confessed my feelings to him, but he said that he valued our friendship too much and didn't want to risk a relationship going bad. He also said that he thinks I'm too nice of a person and friend and he doesn't want me to get brokenhearted if it didn't work out. Just thought you would like to know that I was courageous and asked. (It took forever to find this post again)
And, yeah, my dad pretty much tolerates gay people when they're within hearing range, but mocks them as soon as we're away from them. I try to tell him that there's nothing wrong with them, but he never listens so I've given up on that. Can't change his opinions.
Good on you for telling him, I'm proud of you, guest. That really takes some guts. Maybe in the future he'll see the light, you seem really nice.
Good luck with your dad, hopefully he can mellow out a bit about it :)
My older sister almost died from anorexia, her heart was so bad. She was in the hospital for a long time. I've never known it first hand, but I know how bad and worrying it is. Congratulations on getting over it. I also know and have seen that it's a hard thing to do. <3
My parents call me ugly and fat and my mom says she wishes I was never born... My friends tell me not to listen and my boyfriend is really worried about me. He tells me I'm beautiful but I don't believe him because I don't accept it myself
Don't you dare be like that. You're a human being, a beautiful creature that has every right to live. Why else would God have made you? I suggest you start praying more, and ignore your parents. They don't have eyes to tell you that nonsense. You're perfect, just the way you are. Please don't hurt yourself, we love you. On funsubstance, everyone loves everyone. No matter of their flaws.
I don't believe in god... And I don't want to be alive and my mom doesn't want me to be either. I never tell anyone these things because I see all the shit people get from it, they say it's for attention but that's only when it's a cry for help. The people on this website are so wonderful. I think of you all as my family because my parents aren't in my book.
you are a gorgeous human being! just hold on until you can move out hun, every thing will get better from then on, i promise you that. If thats what your parents say then they dont even deserve you. go out into the world, and make them regret every bad thing they have ever said about you. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!! EVERYONE WHO HAS A GOOD HEART IS BEAUTIFUL!!!
believe you can and your already half way there! think of all your oppertunites you will be missing out on if you kill your self, think of the future generations that you would be killing if you kill yourself. you are a highly important person in this world! dont forget it!
My dad molested me for like 5 or 6 years. Between the ages of 6 and 12. I'm 23 now. I've made peace with it. And I'm glad I could inspire. I've been told I should be a motivational speaker.
Beebee if you ever want to talk I have a kik. Its pebbleinthepond. It's 4:37 am where I am and I have work tomorrow but, I can talk on kik at work. And I'll be up at around noon my time. I don't work until 3 pm. But please if you ever want to talk. That goea for you too kikijade. I hate to leave but I'm at my comment limit and I need sleep. Please don't hesitate to contact me on kik.
beebee773 you're beautifull. Every single human being is. Starvation is never the solution, you can take that from me. I've been there and got out way worse. Don't let the mean words get trough your brain.
Thank you for the support about my sister. And I'm so sorry beebee, please eat and enjoy what life has to offer. Funsubstance doesn't want to lose anyone, no matter how big or small you are on here. And pebble, great job on getting over that; that's incredible.
I used to have anorexia for a period of five years and it fucked my body up. I was eleven when it started so I grew just a bit and my body just didn't get enough nutricients to develop. So now my boobs are sagging, I'm infertile, I'm five centimeters shorter than my mother and I have very vulnerable bones.
So vodka - if you don't mind me asking; how old are you now? I had Anorexia/Bulimia from age 11 to 12. I was lucky enough to get ahold of my life before the long- term effects actually kicked in. Im only 14 (almost 15) so I hope I didn't destroy my body too badly. I'm sorry to hear you're infertile, I was warned of that myself when recovering. The important thing is that you're okay now. Hope all is well.
I'm 19 now and I got grip on it when I was 16. I sometimes still think I should loose weight but in other ways. When I first noticed the side effects, about a half year after eating healthier, I got really depressed. It causes so much damage to your body inn- and outside. I still search for a way to perfectly cope with it, I never feel really feminine or really beautifull, not even when I'm wearing the prettiest dress and get complimented.
I really hope for you that you won't experience any damage. I'm happy that you are recovered and I hope you'll be okay.
I'm depressed, and somewhat suicidal. I've had people tell me my parents, brothers and sisters, friends, etc., would be better off without me., like if I just died, things would get better. I can't really tell anyone, because I honestly only have three friends, one moved to Puerto Rice, one's moving at the end of January, and the other has been my best friends for twelve years, and I'm almost positive we'll stop talking and she'll go hang out with the 'popular' group. My parents are extremely religious, and they think depression, suicidal thoughts, and self harm is a way of looking for attention.
"By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7." (free)
More info: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
There are avenues for help out there, I hope this will be a good start for you :)
I know there are a lot of issues and individual stories that are on here and deserve attention and respect for the bravery they've show- I just wanted to interject with a website that's full of numbers connected to trained people- on eating disorders, suicide, divorce, etc.. I really encourage you all to take the next step and talk to someone trained to help: http://confession-of-the-depression.tumblr.com/hotlines
I think the numbers for the suicide prevention should be made more public than they already are. People don't understand that there's a lot of people that really need those numbers. I know of so many that openly deny that depression is a thing. Like partychick said, they just think it's all for attention
I like this guy but i'm afraid to talk to him... Because i'm worried people will make fun of me and they will
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· 10 years ago
Just talk to him, I speak for myself but I think a lot of guys would prefer that you talk to them first. Maybe he's in the same situation as you. If you don't fish you will never catch the fish. While we're on the subject of fish; there's plenty of fish in the sea. ;)
Being just the way you are is just fine. If he's doesn't like you because of that, then that's his loss. Don't be afraid to talk to him, I'm sure things will work out.
Definitely ask him. There's not much to lose. I've asked two guys out and got shot down both times. It's a little saddening but at least you tried rather than always wondering if something could have been. It takes a lot of courage, I had to encourage myself for at least 2 weeks before I could ask the first guy and it took longer for the second one. And if he rejects yoy, always others out there
I'm not in the best bodily shape. And its not that I want to stop eating, its like I'm trying to get myself to eat less. And I do exercise once or twice a week.
Sometimes the only thing stopping me from running away is the fact that I don't know where I'd go, and even if I did I don't have any money to get me there.
That's really nice :) I have my friend Jade to help me feel better when I'm feeling the tiniest bit upset, but I wish I could talk to her in person instead of just through e-mail.
Stay strong dear, no matter what happens. Remember that suicide is the result of giving up. Don't tell me you're giving up, becuase I won't let anyone give up!
Buy something\make something really nice to show you really love them and mail it to them. If they somehow reply,hopefully it will be a happy reply. Sorry about that happened. It must be so sad :(
If you don't want to really buy them something, try writing them a handwritten letter, telling them that you miss them, your sorry, whatever. They're your parents, I'm sure they miss you to.
It's never too late honey, they're family. Sure it may be tough, but if you show you care enough about them to try and stay in touch again, I'm sure they'll forgive you rather soon :)
Danielle's right, my dad and his parents and sister had a falling out and he refused to talk to any one of them for almost 10 years. It was to the point that my siblings and I weren't allowed to have any contact with that side of the family. It took a serious medical problem to get my dad to even acknowledge my grandparents again. He still won't talk to his sister and her husband, though. So it's not too late to make amends.
I know everyone is sick of me saying it. But I am serious. Do not hesitate ti contact me on kik or tumblr. I will answer faster on kik. But on both I am pebbleinthepond
Me too! I know it's hard. You could try finding someone you can talk to about stuff, because I think that could help. If you have a sibling, try to be friends with them. I hope that helped because I'm still looking for a solution because I have being so closed off and not having anyone to talk to or who knows me well.
I do have a brother, and we get along, but he's 16 and I'm a 13 year old girl. I only really have three friends and a boyfriend, but I only see one of my friends and my boyfriend's a year ahead of me in school so we only get a few minutes at a time together. And I feel like I can't tell my best friends anything because we're more frenemies and she's the only person I talk to. I have no social skills, so I can't exactly make more friends (besides, everyone hates me). I don't have anyone to talk to. Sometimes I feel so alone. I really like funsubstance because it's somewhere I can talk and be funny and feel included, but no one has to see me.
Excuse me, but are you my twin? Because we are the same age and in the same situation. Except I hate everyone (including my friends) and I don't have a boyfriend (managed to reject some people and my one and only crush kinda died)... And my bro is three years old.
Ah, I see. It just sounds a bit strange to me. I tend to be the kind of person who keeps things short, sweet, and to the point, no matter how harsh it may sound.
I am suicidal, but in such a way that I don't want to kill myself, no that would be terrible, but I welcome death. But I love helping people getting out of situations where they are suicidal or depressed. It really breaks my heart. And when I know someone who killed themselves, my heart just shatters. Please don't do this, not any of you. :( I wuvs you all!
I wanted to kill myself over my transgender status. I was sick of kids making fun of me, my parents calling me a freak and an abomination and saying I'll go to Hell, looking at myself in the mirror and seeing someone that wasn't me. Feeling trapped inside my own body. I'm much better now, though.
People who crossdress are under the same transgender umbrella, but I'm a transsexual. I'm mentally male and physically female. It's different. One day, I'm going to transition so my body matches my mind. If you'd like, I can point you to some websites. (Because it's an awfully long and complicated explanation.)
Each month i get one night where i lock myself and my room and cry. I never tell anyone my problems and store all my negativity away so i cry and thats how i make myself feel better getting it out of my system. Then i'm positive :)
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· 10 years ago
It's a human emotion. Crying is how we deal with stress. :)
Edit: Actually it's not just human, elephants are known to cry when a member of their herd dies.
I know guests are given very little regard here and no one will probably see this anyway but I kind of feel like I want to say something anyway. When I was 11 my mom was kidnapped. I kind of went through my early teen years without her. I had to move in with a family member who was borderline emotionally abusive. She escaped from kidnappers and miraculously she found me. but the stuff they did to her. she wasn't ever really the same. It kind of changed me too. to my friends I'm confident and controlled and funny even popular at school. but when I'm alone I'm a paranoid bundle of nerves. I feel like she's going to vanish again sometimes. I feel like I have to be perfect or she will go away. I'm the captain of 2 sports teams at school and I have to always make the honour roll and look pretty and be perfect. Sometimes I don't even no why I just break down in my room when I'm by myself and I scream at my reflection and in bed sometimes I wake unable to breathe because I'm not perfect.
I've been coming on to FS for a little over 6 months every single day several times a day now and it's become a release for me. smiling if only just for a few seconds makes everything seem better. thank you F.S.
I know we give guests hell, but I myself am just joking. As for not being perfect ? You are. Perfection is a lie society made up to sell products by making people feel like they aren't how they should be. So as far as I'm concerned your as great as people come. You are strong for coming as far as you have, and for being able to speak up about it. Don't change , and please know that if you don't hear it from anyone else today that I care , and I think you're absolutely amazing.
I know I sometimes lump all guests together, but that's an exaggeration. Besides, it sounds like you're one of the good ones. Unless, of course, you become a good regular user?
Guys, I wanted to comment on how I feel none of MY friends think of me as high as high as I do of them. That sometimes I feel they're only friends with me because they have noone els. But, looking at all you guys' comments.. I feel that I only look like I'm seeking for attention.. Some of you have really gone through A LOT. I just want to say, NEVER give up.. Never. You are loved even if it doesn't feel like it. Please never hurt yourself or feel like you need to kill yourself. It is truly tagic and if you ever feel you need to do that, please talk to someone, any one. You are truly loved and never forget that.
THE ONLY TiME SUICIDE IS THE ANSWER, IS WHEN SOMEONE ASKS WHAT IS KILLING YOURSELF. I think that's how it goes. Whatever XD oh and sheep,ima call you sheep now,you are a awesome friend and we all love you *gives cookie* now shut up about that one part that you're just seeking attention and stuff. We all feel like that sometimes.
Stay stong. Death is never the answer honey, you prove the people who make you feel down wrong just by being alive. And know that no matter what, you are loved by at least one person out there. <3
You're mind can be quite the nasty place, I know that from experience, but as long as you don't listen to those thoughts then you'll be golden. Again, stay strong lovely :)
If you think you're a sisy for not commuting auicide you're wrong. You're brave for not committing suicide. Stay cheery friend. And sorry for the spelling errors :)
I want to die, but I don't want to do it myself. I welcome death and sometimes I hope it comes fast. Especially when people are
cruel to me at school, and I disappoint my parents. Sometimes my parents tell me stuff that destroys me, but I never tell them that. I hate myself, but I can't kill myself. But now I have someone I need to look after and how loves me just the way I am. I could never leave him, but I'm afraid of him leaving me. He's done it once before, and I hope that things have changed. He says they have and I don't want to have this fear of the only special person in my life going away from me.
You don't need his help, you are beautiful. I know how it feels, i was suicidal for the longest time and then i thought of something. Killing myself wouldn't change a thing. Please you are worth more than a man who you think is going to leave you. Find a man who holds on to you for dear life and never lets you go. That's the kind of guy every girl deserves. Not one that will leave when he wants to, buy the one that leaves only when he is asked to.
We were both kinda young at the time, that's the reason I give myself everytime I think about it. I love him so much, even after he left me I pined away for him the whole rest of the year, and now we are back together again. It's incredible and it's exhilarating, he tells me I'm beautiful and that I'm his whole world. He told me that if I ever break up with him he would never get over me and he would never date again. But when he told me that, I was kind of doubtful because he got over me the first time. But I don't know, things seem different this time
I really don't like my father. He's a total ass hole most of the time. Sometimes, I feel guilty for thinking that way, but then he does something and I feel stupid for feeling bad. And I hate it when people tell me "oh, he's your dad, you should love him blah blah blah." It really gets on my nerves. I honestly don't think I love him. I dont even like him.
My dad is always yelling, most of the time at me. It was hard for so long, because for years I thought I had done something to make him hate me. After I finally came to terms with it, I always thought things, like, 'I hate you.' I'd immediately feel guilty because he's my daddy, and I was supposed to always love him. I don't like him, but I love him, is that weird?
I self harm because I feel like I'm a bad person for hating my mom... But I can't even look at her even thinking about her hurts so much after she told me she wished I was never born. Some kids asked me what I was getting my mom for Christmas so I told them I wasn't and why. The said I'm a bad person for that and no matter what my mom says or does I should lover her because she made me but that really doesn't matter because I don't want to be alive and I guess she doesn't want me to be either.
Im a bisexual girl in year eight who wantsto self harm because everyone thinks i have a disease and it is upsetting. Not even teachers look me in the eye
That's awful.. I'm so sorry. You're not alone and there's nothing wrong with you. That they can't treat another human being decently, shows that there is something seriously wrong with them. Hatred is the disease. Don't forget.
I have sexual desires to get with my friend's two sisters and no one knows about it. I could do it, but I wouldn't how my friend would react. She is also a girl.
I've had a similar problem in highschool. I danced with my best friend of the same gender at prom cause we both didn't have dates. The next day in the hallway, a guy came up to us and asked only my best friend if she was a lesbian. Just out of the blue asking. We're both straight. They assumed I wasn't
I feel so sad inside because I feel under constant pressure to live up to my mums expectations and to not be compared to by my perfect brother and sister :(
No one's perfect. And that's stupid of your mom to compare her children like that. It's damaging, and I hope one day she realizes how harmful that is. She should love you for you, not who she thinks you should be.
The only one you will always have to live with is yourself. So how hard it may be, try to find peace with not being able to live up to those expectations. Sometimes we can't change our parents and then we can only stop trying to please them and live for ourselves.
I've had girlfriends and I've had sex but I can't seem to keep a girlfriend. In fact one of my exes I had know since middle school and had a crush on her since middle school as well. Finally had the courage to ask her out our senior year. I really liked this girl, hell I might have even loved her, and if we were together long enough I would have asked her to marry me. But she broke up with me like 4 months later saying she didn't want to date cause it made her feel too grown up. But I have never been able to have a lasting relationship. My longest was like 5 months and that was in 7th grade.
Don't worry peb. Just by seeing ur comments around funsubstance I can tell ur probably a really nice and cool guy, trust me, ur gonna find a great girl.
I do the exact same sometimes.
pebbleinthepond you may not know me but I know you and You. Are. A. Fucking. FUNSUBSTANCE. Legend. I've been observing you and you're too frikking awesome to live alone. Remember every pot has it's lid (Afrikaans saying). I love you man
My mom died when I was six. And my dad is an alcoholic. Eh he's getting better. But very very very slowly
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· 10 years ago
Im not mad or anything but why am I getting dislikes on my previous comment where I said something that alot of people didn't know? Didnt notice that we were being judged on how sad or interesting our comment was.
Guys, I know that's not very good and stuff.. But this post WAS made to tell people stuff and to not be judged and give advise.. So please don't judge the guest.
A lot of people that are depressed and suicidal.. I'm not really active with commenting(but look on fs everyday)
To all of you that feel so bad, there is hope. Ive tried to kill myself 2 times and been in therapy for years and it can get better. I never thought there would be a way out of the darkness but talking helps. So if you are able, find someone to talk to. Even 'strangers' on the internet can help. I've seen some comments from people offering help and I just want to say I'm here too if someone needs to talk <3
I'm sorry to hear that. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always willing to lend a ear. We're in the same boat, I'm an in the closet bisexual, and my parents would send me off to the nearest straight is great camp if they ever find out.
I feel so much pressure to succeed. If I have a grade lower than an A+, or do badly on something, I feel like I can't breathe and I feel so worthless. I feel like if I don't have perfect grades, I won't succeed and the money my parents are spending on my education is going to waste.
Listen man, it's not a big deal if you get a bad grade. If you get a bad grade you can always improve. In science I had an F. Then I worked harder and got a C- which I was proud of for improving. I just got my report card for the Christmas break and I got B-. The point is it's not a big deal if you get one bad grade just laugh it off and say, "hey maybe next time" and I guarantee you will feel 200% happier. Stay cheery friend ;)
Second guest, I'm assuming you're the same guest who's commented with all the "Stay cheery friend"s, and I think we would all love for you to make an account and lift all our spirits. I just really want to say that.
I'm confused about my sexuality sometimes. I think I'm straight but other wise I'm not sure and I feel like there is something wrong with me. I am in no way homophobic and my sister is a lesbian so I totally accept it but I just don't know how other people would accept me. I'm not even sure how I feel 80% of the time anyway.
I have a similar problem. I'm straight, but once I thought I had a crush on one of my female friends, and sometimes I think that I might be bi. (Either randomly or because of something else.)
Same here, I like guys but often think about girls as well. I'm just gonna be me and if the chance to be with a girl comes up and I still want to then I'd go for it, to be honest I don't think sexuality reality matters enough to me to be defined, I'm not straight or bi or pan, I'm just me.
Yeah. Sometimes I have crushes on girls, sometimes on guys, so I've just decided on "heteroflexible" aka: I'm pretty sure I'm straight but shit happens.
I've only ever posted as a guest, but I think I'll create an account after this last anonymous comment. I'm certain I'm a little older than the average FunSub-er but I've been coming here regularly for a while. Here's my secret: on the outside I live a very normal life. I'm involved in my community and my family is well-liked. At home, my husband is untreated bipolar and, behind closed doors, can become a bit emotionally abusive. I get depressed about it and start to feel hopeless. I've been self-medicating with narcotic pain-killers just to keep going. It's not out of hand. It's just enough to get through the days and be here for my kids. I love my husband very much, but if he doesn't get it together I will have to leave him when I finish my degree and can support myself to protect my kids. He's not physically abusive--I'd have found a way to leave already if he were--but, as my kids get older, I don't want them to feel as broken and worthless inside as I do.
I'm untreated bipolar too. But your husband must be happy to have someone there for him, stay strong and you are very brave to deal with this situation.
I'm sorry but acknowledging that you have bipolar and refuse to be treated for it is a very silly, selfish and reckless thing indeed. You may end up being a danger to yourself or others. On the other hand you may just like to appear unique by labeling yourself as bipolar; that is stupid too.
I know there are a lot of issues and individual stories that are on here and deserve attention and respect for the bravery they've show- I just wanted to interject with a website that's full of numbers connected to trained people- on eating disorders, suicide, divorce, etc.. I really encourage you all to take the next step and talk to someone trained to help: http://confession-of-the-depression.tumblr.com/hotlines
I'm so bored of my life, I daydream about crazy (sometimes unfortunate) scenarios to make it more interesting. It's kinda like that movie coming out. It's a habit that needs to stop.
It's not bad. I have thousands of stories in my head. I just draw them down or write a story about it. It makes life so much more fun. Keep the habit, you'll need it for your career oneday maybe. Like me, I want to be a digital artist.
I do the same thing too. I understand how sometimes the longing for your daydreams to come true gets to be almost unbearable, but it's easy to push through. Like iamnotyourmother said, draw it out or turn it into a book. (I for one like to do the latter.) And no one even has to see it if you don't want them to. It could be for you and you only.
That's what I do, keep it all safe from everybody in my big ol' book. When I look through, I sometimes just want to cry, and then I do. But tears of happiness :')
I can second that Wattpad is an amazing site to post any story, whether you write poetry, plain stories, or just want something like an electronic diary, it's perfect. If you are ever looking to read or write anything, Wattpad is perfect for you.
You should iamnotyourmother :) my Wattpad is Danielle_Howard, my stories aren't the best but I think they're pretty good. And they're a great way to express myself.
P.s. meowiamacat what's your Wattpad username?
Nope, only my funsub one. Deviantart ~ thedoomedkitteh and facebook ~ siobhan ferreira. But it will probably be bowtieumbreon if I get a wattpad acount :)
I go to school, and people say about how up beat they think i am. but they're wrong. i get told to kill myself, i get told i'm fat and ugly. i wake up at least half an hour earlier then i could so i can put make up on to make my self feel beautiful. i've tried pretty much every diet there is. i don't feel as though i'm fat, i'm just a little pudgy. i got told by one of my only friends to go kill myself. i don't understand what i did. i'm just wanting to know what i said. i feel as though i'm walking on broken glass. but they say you can take one good thing out of every bad thing. and i believe it. if i have to say one good thing about this, its that i've been able to start writing songs. for those who read this i thank you so much for putting up with my whining, thank you, please live a great live.
Please. I know this is going to sound weird, but I love you. Please don't do anything. Think to the future. If you left right now. There is literally an infinite number of possibilities and opportunities that will never be experienced. And not just by you. But by your descendents. If you left the earth right now, there is an untold number of generations each with their own infinite opportunities that won't be experienced. You are more important in the universe than you know. With out you. An infinite number of things will never exist, never happen. You are made from the same elements as the stars themselves. You are made of matter that was forged billions of years ago in dying stars millions of light years away. You are important, beautiful, special, and amazing just the way you are. If you ever want to talk. My tumblr and kik are pebbleinthepond. Please.
I know that most of you won't see this because you'd have to read to the bottom of a post with almost 200+ comments, but my brother got addicted to drugs when I was verrrry little. One of my earliest memories is of him fighting my Dad, threatening to push my mum down the stairs, and running up to me to say goodbye (it was late at night) in handcuffs. He ran away so many times, even once on his birthday. Now he is clean, and he is coming home for Christmas on Monday. I haven't seen him in over a year.
If anyone needs someone for support or help, or just someone to talk to, I'm always there. Just explain me the problem, I'll tell you things to help, I'll try the best I'm capable of. I have seen too many people kill themselves, so please think twice before hurting yourself. There are others out there, who don't even know you, but still care. So please, you would not only be doing yourself a favor, but for everyone else. Unless your Hitler. Then you can just sit alone in a closet. (And never know why the hell the TARDIS was in your office)
Here are some bits and pieces: I'm a Ukrainian immigrant who came to Canada when I was 2 years old. My parents were those no-nonsense, must-have-only-straight-A+ kind of parents who believe in beating their kids. As a former troublemaker, that didn't do well on me. I mean, every single flaw they find, POW! If you know what I mean. On top of only coming home with 90% or higher grades, I'm supposed to play two instruments, which takes up 3 hours a day, as if I didn't have enough homework and Saturday school work to do (and I have to get 90%+ there too!). Then we have money to deal with. I'm REALLY poor. So poor I has to quit everything I did before (skating lessons, tennis lessons, etc.) except piano.
Also I'm emotionally... Stuck. I have a native name that no one can pronounce the first time, and everyone at school gave me some kind of nickname, and they think I'm okay with it. They don't even ask because I don't like talking to them, because when I was little, they somehow got it into their heads that I was stuff that I wasn't. For example, I get a cat, and suddenly I'm crazy cat lady. I draw some little thingimajigger that apparently looks like anime, and suddenly I'm an anime freak. When I was little, I would do all these crazy things and they thought I was weird and crazy. About a year ago, I decided to change and try to be "normal". That went all wrong and now I'm a pessimist, negative, and depressed, because I learned to be calm and not laugh or smile at everything
And I don't even have anyone to turn to, because everyone I've ever trusted always either died or betrayed me. Any friends I might have had I've already shooed away because I don't want to hurt them or scare them when I get out of control because from time to time I would lash out, go out of control, and say all this stuff I would usally keep a secret and try to do something crazy or bad, and it's like an angry alter ego of mine. My heart and my mind hurt so much I'm blinded from time to time, and I don't know what to do. I've gone insane. I know my problems aren't as bad as those of some people out there, but I'm so tired, because all this crap started when I was 9 years old, and I wasn't ready. Help?
Don't try to change just to fit in. Be yourself, be someone who makes you happy. And you can always turn to us. We're like the new and improved version of your sucky "friends" back home; we listen and accept people and help each other.
I know, but it still feels so lonely. And I don't think I've changed. You know how everyone has a dark, depressed version of themselves, and they also have the happy version of themselves too? It kind of like I turned on my dark and depressed side and can't find a way to ten it off. You know that feeling?
I read about your ex Bestie, and I'm sorry. I had this one best friend since I was a frickin fetus, and we separated a few years ago. She used to come over every day, and was basically the twin I never had. Then she moved schools, and in order to be popular, she had to choose between her group there or me, and guess who she chose. Anyway, we "hung out" on this virtual website thing called OurWorld, so she started pretending that someone had hacked into her account and said really bad things to me. Later, I realised it was really her, and I was never the same since. I don't know why people do these things. I hope you feel better without her, and know that I'm always there, ready to be nice enough to someone who doesn't say yolo, Hashtag, or swag in public (which I hope you don't. )
This is getting awkward. I don't usually talk to people this long. Last time I had a decent conversation, the other person ended up thinking I was a serial killer.
I don't have kik yet. As I said, I'm horrible at conversations. I might get it though. And now I'm going to go on Tumblr to confirm pebbles and song's existence there...
I still think Funsubstance is better. By the way, I followed you and song. Probably the only thing I'll ever do there :P And there are always a few assholes everywhere :|
dafuq: I swear, we must have been separated at birth, I can relate to almost everything you say. (And don't worry, the only time I'll say YOLO, hashtag, or swag is when my brother and I are having a laugh and doing it ironically, just trying to see who can come up with the most ridiculous hashtags.
And, if anyone wants to talk to me or anything, my tumblr's whyispickingausernamesohard. I don't have a kik or anything else (I've been too lazy to make accounts for even facebook and twitter), but my skype's jessica.polley10 if anyone uses that.
I don't have tumblr or twitter :(. Thanks for helping her guys, I was kinda sleeping XD but yeah, always be yourself, never make friends with people you can't trust. Believe me, I know how you feel. I've had plenty such friends before and there are so many assholes in our school who loves making fun of my name too. But secretly, they just don't know how to spell or pronounce it XD so please please please don't give up. We all are there for you. We love eachother. Like brothers and sisters, we sometimes fight here on funsubstance, but we still care for eachother. There's always hope. If your feelings ever get worse, please don't keep it a secret. Talk to me. Siobhan ferreira on facebook. Or on deviantart as thedoomedkitteh.
I might start to go on deviantart (same username). THANKS GUYS I feel so much better now! Of course, my problems won't go away, but I'd be glad to try to help anyone else! Funsubstance makes me feel so much better, and I hope it makes everyone else happy too. Have fun and DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE
Thank YOU. We all help eachother here :) funsubstance is always the place I turn to when -km down and sad. It always helps and puts a smile on my face. Wel then, see ya again dear and I hope your problems will be solved :)
I just wanted to say, thank-you to everyone who commented, shared a secret, told someone about a problem, and those who where their for those who just wanted to talk. You have made a great impact on me, and several others, I'm sure. Thanks for making my life a little brighter, and helping me feel like I might have something to keep living for.
My biggest fear is that my three friends decide they hate me and my boyfriend breaks up with me.
I crave human contact but I hate people.
I will cry at the littlest things.
I pretend I don't care but I care oh so much.
I'm slightly a perfectionist.
I need to be included.
I hate my best friend.
I hate myself sometimes, but it's not like I hate my body or whatever, it's little things, like I hate my voice.
I always feel like I might not be good enough.
There's this little voice in my head that tells me I'm strong and I can do anything, but then another tells me I can't. I tend to choose the latter.
I'm more comfortable telling my secrets to a bunch of strangers on here than I am telling them to my "best friend".
I want to be an actress or a singer, but then I get up in front of my class to present or three of my own teachers to audition for the school musical and I just can't stop shaking from fright.
I feel on most of that exactly the same. At least I have a friend or 2 (on the internet and outside) that I can tell anything. If you have stage fright or anything related, being with other people and being terrified, it helps a lot to just calm yourself. Tell yourself that you can do this and what do you really have to lose? I mean, when we die, we lose everything just as well. Be more social and try making new good friends you can truly trust.
I try to do all these things. But with the friend thing, I don't exactly have the best social skills, and I'm kinda the most hated person in my grade (don't know if this is true or not, though). The only reason my friend and I are best friends is because we're more frenemies (and anyone can tell you we're the best of friends one day and at each other's throats the next) and she's the only one of my friends that goes to my school.
And I'm just glad I can get up in front of a crowd of people I don't know and talk :)
Another secret: I sometimes just really feel like doing something terrible to myself. I just get sick of this endless situations. My mother is constantly angry at me for little things, letting me go to my room and rot there. I feel like the only one who knows too much. Too much. I just want to spill it all out. All my emotions. In the outside, I'm as friendly as can be, always positive and caring for everyone. No one notices my real feelings. But when I'm alone... I just wish to jump off a bridge. I just... Hate how I look, my personality, how my voice sounds. I just don't know anymore. Does anyone know the feeling? Of being cornered?
This site has turned into so much more than fun. There are users here that are so inspirational and help me get through the day. I love how we all act like family and we don't even actually know each other. You guys are the best! And I just wanted to say thank you to all those people out there who are extremely nice to me.
My (ex) best friend broke up with me after three years of what I remember as being the perfect friendship and the best I ever had because I "was always getting her in trouble". I was always the one obeying the rules and doing what we were taught was right. She was the one swearing in front of the teacher because I did a somersault while wearing a skort. I'm still not sure what I did wrong. Then the next year she tried to make up with me by letting me be the VP of her "Slammers" club, which was basically a thinly veiled attempt to turn me into a school bully. Then she pointed out the first "Slammee", my new best friend. This year, I guess we've kinda decided we don't like each other, won't get along, and our crowds just don't mix.
Oh these comments are so sad! Everyone on this website is GREAT and define toy deserves to live. No matter what you feel it will always get better, and there are so many people who love and care about you. So there is no need for depression, or suicide. NO need. You are awesome!
I see.. Sorry to hear that.. I'm afraid I don't know much about that, so there isn't much I can say.. Though, I once had a friend who was the same way. Kids in school would make fun of her for wearing a hat. I've gotten into a lot of fights for her sake, and I don't regret a single one.
I've heard about it a lot, and I'm so sorry you have it. But don't be ashamed of it, just get some fashionable hats! Do you just pull? I knew someone who ate theirs. But it's not that bad! :)
A couple of years ago, I was seriously contemplating suicide. I was under so much pressure and the guy I was dating was a truly awful person. I then met my current boyfriend, who saved my life.
I love it when people have happy endings. I love it even more when they're not in movies :) why was that person so awful? What happened and how did your new boyfriend save your life? You don't have to answer. It's just my curiosity that takes over sometimes.
Thanks guys. The guy I had been dating was border-line physically abusive and was emotionally abusive. I was under a lot of pressure from my family to do really good in school and it just all built up. Then one day I was dressed up for one of my friends' birthdays. I was wearing this coral colored long dress and my hair was curled. When I saw my boyfriend earlier in the day, he told me I "never should have put that dress on because I looked like a fat, ugly cow." Well, I'd had enough of his shit at that point and dumped him right there. I was then feeling bad about breaking up with him and doing really bad in one class. I walked into my last period art class, and the guy who sat next to me, whom I had gotten close to over the course of the year, said "You look absolutely gorgeous today." He still has no idea that just being nice to me that day probably saved me from doing something incredibly stupid.
That's just how he is. We've been together for almost two years now. I'm in my senior year of high school and he is a sophomore in college. We argue occasionally, but the one time we had a big fight, he sent me a dozen long-stemmed red roses at school with a letter apologizing for our fight. When I got home, there were three more bouquets on my porch, each a different color. He's a great guy and he always manages to remember the little things.
I hope you two are happy and don't break up and eventually get married and have kids and have never regret anything you do. Ok. Now I'm overreacting. But you know what I mean, because I'm so happy for you :D
It's not as bad as all your problems but my dad is hugely Christian and doesn't 'approve' of gays and lesbians ect.. But I found out my sister is a lesbian and she also has depression and I'm really scared for her because she can't really keep it a secret forever.
People are always quick to judge about things that are far from home, but if it comes close to them they handle it very differently. The bible says that God loves you in spite of all of your faults. Even through I don't consider being the way you are a sin or fault, this means that God also loves gays and lesbians. I hope things will work out for you. And if you ever get in an argument with your dad this verse may help; 1 John 4:7-8. I'll pray for you and your family.
I'm really confused about my mother. Sometimes she can be like the caring and loving mom my friends all have but sometimes she'll start insulting me and yelling at me until I'm on the verge of tears. She always complains about everything even though she does nothing around the house; it's my dad who does the laundry, cleans the floor, etc, and me and my brother try to help as much as we can. My mom will always have huge fights with my dad over the smallest things and when I was younger, she would beat up my dad in front of me and my brother. She never wanted to meet up with our other families and we would only see them every 4-5 years. She also never cared to come to me and my brother's school eventsz. I honestly love my dad for how he's managed to cope with all of this. It's basically like he's a single dad because my mom doesn't do anything. I've never told this to anyone because I was afraid they would see my mom in a different way or they would judge our family.
Also, I've read all of your secrets. You guys probably won't see this because there's almost 400 comments on this but you're all incredibly special to me. I haven't suffered through most of the problems some of you have but I feel like crying when I read them. I know you'll all be here for me when I'm down and I can't describe how much you guys mean to me :)
I have similar problems with my mom, and I have a 16 year old friend who has worse problems with her mom, since her dad left. And what I did was not solve the problem, but try to make my relationship a bit better with her. I know it looks impossible, but I would try to talk to her about anything pleasant, and don't force anything to happen. Try to understand her and her story a bit better. I hope I helped...
Yeah, I am and thanks :) I do try to be as nice as possible to her whenever I visit. She still yells at me sometimes but I've learned to tune it out. Thanks for your advice!
I cry every time me and my boyfriend fight, he hates it!
he doesn't know its because the last relationship I was in was mentally and physically abusive.. I cant get over the fact and i'm terrified he'd hit me even though I know hes not like that... I just cant help it and I am scared he's gonna leave :(
This was my post i forgot to log in.. See that's the thing I don't know how to tell him, its going to seem like I don't trust him and he's told me before that's the thing that he hates the most! he's a good few years older than me and quite good looking so I know if he leaves I'll never get him back :(
This Post has Really affected me most post I just enjoy but this is different it has made me see there are really some nice people in the world (all of you). Also it has helped me see how many people are struggling so thank you. You are all brilliant. Don't give up on life and remember suicide only stops life getting better so every one stay strong
I'm too much of a pussy to make an account because I think everyone will hate or simply ignore me like everybody does in real life. I can't even post a comment as a guest without getting nervous as hell (it took me over an hour to decide whether to post this or not).
I know you guys are all very nice and sweet but I just can't help it.
Sorry for all the swearing (I don't swear at all in my native language) but I honestly don't know how to say this otherwise.
I've heard using a red felt tip pen where you cut gives the same feeling but no actual harm. Also rubbing ice over where you cut or snapping rubber bands. I wouldn't know though, I've stayed away from cutting.
I'm bipolar. Before I was diagnosed, I did poorly in school (couldn't focus & sometimes didn't finish homework). My parents threatened me multiple times to have me thrown into a mental ward if I didn't do my homework. Ive been misdiagnosed with ADD, ADHD, and depression until I was 16 when it became bipolar. I was medicated immediately and had to see a therapist. I have a problem with talking to people I don't know and she was terrible to me (she told my parents to take my possessions away any time I didn't finish homework). I only talk to the Dr that prescribes my meds now ( I like him better also). I can't show any kind of major emotion like a 'normal' person would cause thhen my parents will blame it on my condition and have my meds increased or have me sent to an institute. I've hidden my emotions for so long that I find it difficult to react normally in public (I have to fake emotions). Most people avoided me in school and I'm just now relearning how to express my emotions
Ive been verbally and emotionally abused by my parents. They would constantly tell me that I was worthless and wouldn't amount to anything as well as blame me for everything that went wrong. I was never able to call or get online to those help lines. I was luckly able to find alternative methods to deal with it before it got too bad. One of my methods was to write every horrible thing said to me on my foot. It was to symbolize by walking on the words that couldn't hurt me. I also used the rubber band method. It's gotten better for me; my parents have since stopped. They never knew of the damage they did cause I could never tell them
I know that feel. I had an on-off crush on this one kid so I told him on the last day of school last year. He didn't react so well. This year, most of the time we're on pretty good terms and he'll tease me about it every now and again. Except a few weeks ago when he tried to stab me in the neck.
Um, so, he kinda hates me during one class in particular because we didn't get new seats for a while and he was sick of sitting next to me and this other girl. Now, we all go to a Catholic school, so that specific teacher always starts off each class with having us bow our heads for prayer. About half the class actually does it, I included, as it makes me feel like I'm getting a little extra rest in my first class. So, apparently, he had his pencil above my neck but he took it away before prayer was over so I didn't see it, he just told me he was about to. I didn't believe him, because he acts pretty crazy a lot (everyone there does). It wasn't until my next class with him that someone else told me he HAD, in fact, as she had seen it from across the room. I'm still alive, don't worry!
I have another secret, I used to cut a lot and at one point I had cuts all over my body and nobody knew about them, I would even cut my girlfriends(ex now) name into me hoping it would scar and stay there forever, well about a year and a half ago she broke up with me and it really pushed me over the edge I wanted her back and would have done anything to get her back, so pretty much out of delusion I got two tattoos one her name in the same place I used to cut her name into me the most on my wrist and a moon on the other wrist because she was my moon and I was the sun to her, I never told any of my friends about her leaving me until a few months ago cuz I thought we could get back together and she acted like it but she just told me last month that for the past year she had been leading me on so I wouldn't try to kill myself or hurt myself, she lied to me about everything and I just believed everything because I wanted things to go back to normal but now that I kno the truth it makes
I'm secretly dead inside. I'm rotten to the core. I've become so numb (didn't mean to make a Linkin Park reference, btw), and I've contemplated suicide way too many times. And I wish I don't press that post comment button.. Here it goes.
I don't know you at all, but from what I've read on here you seem like an amazing person and I guarantee you that EVERY single one of us on here would miss you.so please take up pebbles advice and talk to him or anybody else, it's not worth feeling the way you are feeling.
I'm shadowed under my sister's mistakes. Just because she made mistakes when she had privileges, I get 0. My parents have no trust in me what so ever, because of her mistakes. And then I have my other sister, who they always listen to because she's always right. It's so hard trying to please other people, right? That's why it's not worth it. Be who you want to be, and as long as you're happy with yourself, that's all that matters. Sorry, just thought I'd express myself.
I am too. I hate what I see in the mirror and purposefully keep mirrors out of my bedroom because of it. I feel like every part of me is hideous and I cry a lot from it. I hate me so much. You're not the only one, my friend, I feel you.
Well the longer you wait, the better. Especially if you want to find someone you'll cherish forever. Because relationships in your teens aren't exactly lasting ones. It's a possibility, but they normally aren't.
I have severe anxiety but because of family/friend/work obligations I have learned to hide it so well that people honestly think I'm an incredibly outgoing, care-free person
Been trying to come to terms with my sexuality for years, I don't want to accept being a lesbian. Was bullied a lot in high school. I told my family except for my dad (who i don't live with but i still visit him sometimes) I'm scared to come out to my father he's catholic and I don't think he would accept me. I'm too much of a coward and I think about it a lot and how maybe I should just keep it a secret until he dies. But when I think about it idk I just feel guilty like its my fault im like this then I get this crippling depression..
I know this sounds strange coming from a complete stranger, but you are loved and wanted, exactly as you are. It is not your fault that you are a lesbian. It is not a choice you made. You were born liking women, which is perfectly fine. Your dad loves you, and will most likely accept you for who you are.
I have a boyfriend but I think I'm in love with my friend my boyfriend hates him and me and him had a thing but it's over but I just can't stop thinking about him even though he most likely has forgotten about me so I try my best to be happy with my boyfriend but I can't stop my mind from going back to what happened between us.
Leave you boyfriend asap,dont let him het attached to u anymore. Im a boy. The same thing happend for me. My girlfriend was in love with one his friends:'( its been 1year since i found out but i still cry every night. Weve been together for about 4 years...dont let him het attached...please...
My stepdad constantly tries/ threatens to kill my mom and I've recently started cutting myself within the last year. A few years ago my dad got cancer and moved away so I had to live with my stepdad for a whole year (instead of going to my dad's house every other week like I usually do) and I seriously wanted to kill myself
All of my friends think I'm still a virgin, but that train left quite some time ago. I feel odd about this, because our society encourages openness and the like, but I'm really trying to keep my daliances quiet. I don't want to feel judged simply because I have the morals of a horny teenager. Sex makes me feel wanted and loved, and I share a bond of friendship with each guy I've banged. Yet, like most people, I feel the urge to tell, so I'm telling anonamously on this beautiful site that has led me to such wonderful people.
I'm fat I'm ugly, everyone's better than me, and they know it. My friends all push me aside for other, better people. Always have. And I don't blame them, if I were them I wouldn't chose me either.
Hey... Don't be like that. Hell, I would probably be your friend forever coz you seem different. Make an account, make some friends, be happy with all of us here... Lots of these people helped me, I'm sure they can do the same for you
Don't say that!! I'm absolutely positive that you're a fantastic person; make an account, like angelus suggested, and maybe FS can help! :) stay strong lovely!
Better to whine about it on the internet than embark on a voyage of self-improvement or anything.
But yeah, don't make an account. We already have enough suicidal Debby Downers on FS.
I'll give you rude, but that comment was highly necessary. I'm sick of all these attention-seekers making FS their personal gathering place lately. FS isn't the place for that, yet it's becoming more and more common. It's dragging the site down.
I suggest that they make a new section on the all page called "help" or the "depression" or "suicide" section so that people can discuss that there and if you don't want to hear any of that stuff you can just filter it out of your all section.
If what I have to say offends you, you've got the same two options. God forbid I draw from 30+ years of experience, college, and an insane (heh...) amount of time spent in contact with these people (real and attention-seeking) in order to tune my bullshit meter.
Even if they're not bullshitting, FS is simply not the place for this. It's a humor site, for crying out loud. What don't you feelsy teenagers understand about that? Sure, the post title makes for a bit of a gray area, but this behavior isn't confined to this post.
Btw, it hasn't escaped my notice that FSers can be huge assholes to people, yet nearly-collectively bend over backwards to coddle these rampant "suicidal" sadsacks. One couldn't be blamed for thinking the "helpers" are only interested in the appearance of being a good person. I've even heard a handful of FSers brag about how many lives they've "saved". Like points.
Regarding a special section for suicidal kids, that's a bad idea. Not to mention there are plenty of more appropriate sites, not to mention *gasp* professional help to be had in the real world.
Mgoveia, I know how you feel about people complaining about their life on a site like this, but no one can stop people from saying what they want. As much as I'd love to have a depression-free site, I can't have one because people will always bring up this subject. We can't simply remove all the users who share their life story from FS, and making another section for that isn't the best idea, but it's better than coming across random posts with someone boohooing in the comments. You can't get rid of everyone you don't like on this site. And as for the "life-savers", at least we'll know who all the bullshitters are. I'm joking. People can't possibly want to actually brag about that. Anyway, FS isn't what it once was, and I've taken a break from it because of the new changes around here. But everything changed, and you can't get rid of people or make things the way it was before, so I suggest just ignoring any kind of bullshit you come across, or give them a piece of your mind
Oh, I don't want FS to be like it was before. It was bad before, too. This is just a growing symptom.
And I don't want these people to leave. I'd gladly settle for a community that didn't encourage this bullshit. It's to the point of enabling, now. Not to mention some of the teen boys on here seem like the kind of sickos that try to take advantage of poor, damaged teen girls. These kind of things really kill the mood, ya know?
I'm a 22 year old female and I haven't even had a first kiss yet nevermind a boyfriend. I'm terrified that I'm going to die alone. :'( I know I'm not pretty or skinny but I still want to get married and have a family. I'm so scared that I'm letting my Dad down :(
I'm seventeen and im disgusted of myself. I hate my boby because I'm really chubby and plus I have egsuma all over my body. I'm deathly afaird of people touching me even as just holding hands. I don't think I could ever get a boyfriend because that would mean he would have to touch me. Don't pity me! I just have never told anybody this. And I don't hate who I am, I love me but I don't want anybody to see or feel my body. Because I would never know what they would think. And if they think I gross to. :) my secert
I watch a lot of anime. And infer on here after every episode so I won't think of myself as a loser who all he does is watch anime (and for laughs if course)
I have this disease thing (I don't have it so bad it affects my life so it's harmless to me) called synesthesia where the cells in my brain kind of cross-wire so whenever I think of days or colors they are specific colors. It's quite weird.
I have had such an insanely huge crush on my friend for the last 4 years that it hurts to just think about her. I have told her how I felt about her and she acts like she is interested in me but never wants to go on a date. Its almost like I'm stuck on her and only her, I just can't date someone else without thinking about her. It sucks
I have a few mental problems, I've seen a doctor for that. I've self harmed and tried to kill myself. I'm bullied.
Any of you that are reading thing. Suicide and blades are not the answer to anything. It may help for that short amount of time but it will still bother you. Try to find something else to express yourself with. Art, music, dance, etc. and a quick reminder, it gets better there are so many people that you have affected! Have great days, and believe me when I say all of you are kind would and deserve to live. (:
I hate Asians, I have no reason to at all though. And am by no means a racist. Does any one else have anger or any type of anger like feeling to any other race in this world but don't know why?
In 6th grade at basketball camp my pad fell off my underwear for some weird reason and I Blamed it on the chunky red head girl no one liked... And now that girl is some model in California and I'm all like wow fml I should of claimed the bloody pad
I know I've said this a million times already, but don't. Please. Most of the time we hate guests, but, truth is, we were all guests once, and without the guests some of these posts just wouldn't be as interesting.
I love funsubtance so much you guys are so kind and loving and supportive to others with secrets and problems of their own. We are like one big happy family :)
Okay, story time.
I used to be best friends with a girl who lived on my street. I met her in fifth grade, and we were friends till seventh. In seventh grade, I didn't know it but my anxiety and anger was getting really bad and I thought everything was her fault and I started being rude to her even though she didn't deserve it. That year I switched schools, and started getting help for my anxiety and anger, and realized what I'd done. I didn't see her again until high school, I tried calling her, but she'd never answer her phone.
Now she glares at me when she sees me, and it kills me inside a bit, to make things worse, I think I've fallen in love with her now, and it kills me to think of the things I did to her. She'll probably never forgive me, but deep down inside, I'm just happy to see her smile with her friends, but it still kills me inside when she glares at me.
awwe that's so sad :( maybe you could try to have some alone-time with her, and explain everything? I hate to see this happen, and I hope you two will someday be friends again
I've tried talking to her, but she just ignores me when I try to call for her in the halls, and she's almost never alone to begin with, and her friends have never liked me much so it's hard. I'm going to keep trying because this kills me a little but more everyday. I also fear that even if I got a chance to explain to her about my severe anger and anxiety, she may be one of those people who don't believe those are actual disorders and think I'm just a douche
I feel like im bothering people just by being alive,so lonley. Everyone around me tells me that i make them sad,my parents wish i was never borned. Wanna kill myself but i dont dare
Yes. I mean what is wrong with girls ?? If you ask me you should call it a something, like a flea or a tick because it's not a woman it's a pest and should be extermanated !!!
Female here, I know it may not be easy but start making small talk, maybe about home work. Eventually you should express your feelings because trust me, when we have a crush we don't talk to you! So just give it a try and I hope it works out.
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· 9 years ago
Or even have a friend tell her the truth. That you have feelings for her but you're too shy to talk to her.
Or, get the guts my man. You go on funsubstance, say something funny to start a conversation! I was in the same position as you and I tried and succeeded, and so can you.
Hi, I just got an account. I've been doing the guest thing for a while, and I've seen how kind all of you are and I really would like to join your community.
When I was in middle school, I went through a lot of bullying. Mostly name-calling and stuff. My favorite incident was the time the new kid came up to me during class and told me that he hated me because he had been watching me and decided that I was a "nagging bitch." All this made me a really strong person emotionally, and as much as it sucked then, I don't regret that it happened. It taught me to not be a doormat.
I guess my real regret is how it changed me. Recently, that new kid tried to friend me on Facebook, after 2 years, and I flipped shit. My friends all said he wasn't an asshole anymore, and I know personally how 2 years can change someone, but in my mind that didn't apply to him. I just couldn't forgive, and I really still can't.
I regret that the mistakes these kids made have made me a worse person, permanently.
Awwwe :( there's always time to change. There are plenty of people you'll meet someday that might help you change for the better. :) and we're always here to listen and talk to you if anything is wrong.
I know there are a lot of issues and individual stories that are on here and deserve attention and respect for the bravery they've show- I just wanted to interject with a website that's full of numbers connected to trained people- on eating disorders, suicide, divorce, etc.. I really encourage you all to take the next step and talk to someone trained to help: http://confession-of-the-depression.tumblr.com/hotlines. They're there to talk even on the holidays- so call anytime.
If anyone could help me it would be greatly appreciated. Here's my story: there's a guy that I've like for over 3 years. I mistakenly told a girl I thought I could trust. She talks about me behind my back and tells lies about me to the rest of the school. One girl got mad at me because the girl I told told her that I was insulting her behind her back. She beat me up and swore at me, saying I was nothing but a horrible bitch who should kill herself. I still crush on that boy, but he is best friends with the girl I thought I could trust. He now ignores me and looks at me like I'm some freak who crawled out of a sewer. I realized they where all right. I now cut myself often and try to ignore the stares I get from everyone in the school, knowing they all just think I've done something horrible that the girl told them. Sometimes I just wish I could die, but I stay alive, hoping one day that everyone wouldn't hate me.
Please get an account :( You have us, and we'll help you. Seriously if you're in Canada I could just go to your school and beat up that girl for you because I can do that. But for now, I would tell everyone that the things she said about you weren't true. If that doesn't work, do what she did and let her get a taste of her own medicine. I don't give good advice and that's what I did before. (actually after that things got pretty nasty for me and that girl) but hold on there and don't kill yourself! We love you <3
I'm so sorry.. That's terrible.. Don't worry. The truth always finds a way to show itself. She will get hers one day. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day, it will come around and bite her in the ass.
You guys actually know more about me than most people, but here it goes: I have gaps in my memory that I can't explain, and I can't help but wonder if something happened to me that made me forget. The first is a year and a half long. I can't remember my sister's dad at all, even though he lived with us. I don't remember my mom being pregnant or giving birth, even though I was in the room when my sister was born. I wish more than anything I knew why.
I have that same problem and i figured out that it is actually because of some type of traumatic event. At least that's what happened to me. Maybe your sisters birth was something so big your mind couldn't handle it or something of that sort.
I have a few things, and I am so sorry to be rambling...
I feel like I was betrayed by my mother just over a year ago, even though I know I shouldn't feel that way. I finally had the guts to tell her I was depressed and "Didn't want to be here/wanted to die" (but I would NEVER harm or have the guts to actually attempt suicide. The thought always scared me) I didn't want it to be a big deal, but I decided that I should tell the truth for once. I was wrong. That night she admitted me to a psych ward. I was pretty much put through torture in the ER (where they later shipped me off to the ward), and heard her say the two words that will likely haunt me forever. "Take her." Voluntary hold, and no matter how much I begged, all she said was "They'll fix you." That ward... Even over a year later I have nightmares. Diagnosed trauma.My mother doesn't know that it is still affecting me, at least I don't think she does. But I'm afraid if she finds out, she will send me again....
Oh my God.. I'm so sorry.. She should have listened to you. It sounds though, like she wanted to help but didn't have the right idea as to how to help you. But if you ever need to talk, my tumblr is the same as my name here.
Thabk you so much Pebble, It's just... I'm always hiding everything. I am pretty much at war with everyone in my immediate family. They have never been abusive, but life has been...difficult for me. I have a mood disorder, close to bipolar or Cyclothymia. So if anything, I have been abusive. I live with regret and fear. There are some things I can never take back... I'm so...sorry to vent like this...
Venting is good, it helps people let it out. Besides that's what I'm here for. And I work with people who have mood disorders, I know how it works. Feel free, anytime, to contact me on kik, if you ever want to vent or talk more privately. I'm here to help if I can.
You do? Wow, and thank you for your help. I felt better after posting it. Very few know, and I have to keep it hidden. You are truly a kind person and will go far in life :D It's true, doing this for people is saving lives, and you took a small weight off my shoulders. Thank you so much
Do you like turkey bacon? Also, hopefully you don't think I'm creepy, but we have a lot in common. I remember we commented on being virgins and being afraid of sex. In other words, I like you. You're cool.
Then why do you badmouth them? Badmouthing them is displaying hatred and accepting hatred towards them. By putting people down, you're saying that it's okay to treat those people poorly rather than with respect. Think about how many people you can hurt with your words.
I do this all the time. And the boy I secretly love notices, too. But he doesn't know I'm thinking about him. According to him, I look scary when I do that. I'm not sure I could ever tell him the truth
I have an addiction to self destruction, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I also think about dying a lot, like people's reactions and stuff. How I would be forgotten if I just jumped in front of that passing car...
They might be sad for a little bit, but people move on. It might even be better for my little brother and little sister. They wouldn't remember me and my parents would strive to make sure they're happier then me.
PEOPLE DON'T JUST MOVE ON. IT LEAVES A SCAR THE SIZE OF AUSTRALIA IN THEIR HEARTS AND IT WILL MAKE THEM SAD WHENEVER THEY WILL THINK OF YOU, THINKING THEY COULD HAVE DINE SOMETHING TO STOP IT. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR PARENTS THINK AND HOW YOUR SIBLINGS WILL REACT TO THIS SO DON'T YOU DARE THINK IT WILL BE OKAY
We're saying you won't be forgotten, people will always remember you, for if you leave this world you will leave a scar on their heart that will never go away.
I knew what you meant, but the wording annoyed me, sorry. But that doesn't change how people would feel if I died. I have no friends, my step sister hates me, I always fight with my brother and end up accidentally hurting him, whether physically or emotionally. My little sister wouldn't understand very well, but she'd forget me eventually. My parents have my other siblings, and it would be less for them to pay for. All I do is take up space and waste oxygen.
No you don't. I am here if you want to talk and help. Fs would miss you. I would. You can contact me on kik or tumblr, I'm pebbleinthepond on both. Please don't do anything I'm here to help.
You're saying people move on, my granddad died when i was two and my family still hasn't forgotten him and that was even suicide, its been 16 years and i still miss the fun we had! My uncle Joe, he shot himself 9 years ago because he had MPD and one of the voices told him to do it, that was 9 years ago.. i hated him, barely talked to him and yet i miss him. Its true when they say you don't know what you've got 'til its gone! i'd do anything to have the two of them back! so please for the sake of your family and yourself and us here on FS, DON'T DO IT!
Hmph, you're not the only one, my guest. Don't ever feel lonely. Here I am, 21. Haven't been kissed (trust me, I've been given the chance, I'd just.. rather not), pretty sure haven't been crushed on, my so called friends went out with the guy I had a crush on, and the closest thing I have with someone liking me is on the internet.
I'm quite certain you're not ugly. No one is truly ugly on the outside when they're beautiful on the inside. Your time will come. It took a long time for me. I stopped looking and stopped waiting and suddenly, I got my first boyfriend. Keep your chin up. It will get better. Just be confident in yourself, and one day one will come to you.
I was in relationship with a girl for 4 years. She was my everything, my best friend, my person. 1month after she went to university, she left me. She changed a lot,i don't know why. She started to talk behind my back, she started to mock me in front of other boys, she told me horrible things, and then left me because of a handsome guy who was a total jerk. Now i think she never loved me. It's been a long time since we broke up, but still whenever i think of her my eyes get wet. I still love her,and i always will. She will always be in my life, even now that i know she forgot me. She will always be my only one.
I secretly get tired of posts when they hit more than 200 comments.
Also, it's especially tedious when half the comments are about suicide. I know it's frowned upon here to say something like that, but let's be honest, I doubt many of you are going to see this post way down here, anyway.
I see you. (: But yeah, it's kinda irritating, but you know, I actually care about what people have to say, so why not take the time and potentially save a person's life? A simple "I'd care" could be enough.
Yeah, but then I'd be lying. You don't want to make a liar out of me, do you?
Sorry about the phone. I'm on a laptop. OH! There's another thing about me, I've never owned a cell phone.
If I may hijack my own thread for a different subject... I have completely ruined MBGoveia's ability to "fantasize" about me doing chores around the house in my unmentionables due to the fact that that's my default clothing setting for doing chores around the house.
According to her baby boards, this is called "mom porn". Who knew?
A few days ago at work, there was a situation similar to the one from the post about the guy who got loose in the er and hurt a nurse resulting in her miscarriage (IIRC). Without giving any info out that might violate hipaa or something, I basically subdued a big, schizo dude (300+ lbs to my mere 245) on my own right before he made it to one of the in-use exam rooms in the back.
All anyone can talk about now are the two people that failed to contain him (one of them a security guard), and the fact that if he "really wanted to", he could have gotten free, hurt a lot of people, etc.
I know they probably don't mean to, but I feel like this really belittles me and the fact that I did what I did, without hesitation, no less.
#humblebrag I know, I know. Maybe I AM looking for a little appreciation, while fully realizing this isn't really the place for it. High internet fives are acceptable, though.
I haven't wanted to kill myself for years, but I still feel like I want to die. Some people really like me and call me brave and strong and wise... But my closest friends don't understand me. They say they do, but.. I'm a transsexual. Pre-op. Female to male. My friend said she once wished she was a boy for years, but she let it go. Now she's telling me not to transition. She's saying I"m too obsessed with being trans, but it's hurting me and I'm trying to look forward to when that pain will be gone. My boyfriend doesn't understand it. He doesn't think transsexuality exists. Whenever I try to tell them I'm hurting, suddenly it becomes a "who's had the most pain in their life"" competition. They say I don't know pain. No, I've never seen anyone die. No, I've never leapt in front of a car. Why does my pain have to be inferior to theirs? Isn't pain just pain? Why are they so mad at me for trying to make myself happy? I've tried "letting it go." I've tried ignoring that I"m trans.
I was miserable! I was never so miserable. I'm happier, now, that I've stopped pushing it away or hiding it. Now they're mad at me. I never said they've never felt pain. I've never said they've always been happy. I just said they don't understand. Maybe "letting it go" worked for her, but it's not going to work for me. She keeps telling me I'll never look like a guy. That I'll always look like a girl no matter what I do. And she doesn't care how much that hurts. I don't know if anyone here will understand or even be able to help. The stag has too many arrows in his hide. He's not sure if he can go on.
Don't ignore it. Pain is pain. They have no right to compare their's to yours. Although our pain may be different, we all have felt pain. I believe you should do whatever makes you happy, because nothing matters more than your happiness. You don't need to be accepted by other people, you just have to be accepted by yourself, and if transitioning helps you achieve that, make it happen. I'm all with you. Don't let a person's words affect what you want to become in life.
If he could help me, he'd tell me not to listen to them. He'd tell me to ignore them. How could they know what would make me happy? Only I know me. But when it's his own friends that are angry with him, his own boyfriend... It's a lot harder to follow his own advice.
Partly because I really want to get this off my chest kinda, and partly because this post needs more happiness, with 33 mentions of the word "suicide", 23, "depress"es, 13 "sad"s, and 17 "cry"s, I'm gonna go out here and confess my crush on this guy at my school.
So there's this one kid I sit by in one of my classes and I think he's kinda cute and he's really funny. And there was this one time when I think he kinda-sorta-accidentally called me cute because he started calling me a puppy so I questioned it and he said "puppies are cute" with a little shrug. He denies it, though. Apparently I'm more fierce. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I really like him but I'm not sure and I kinda want him to have an account here and recognize this and know, but I doubt it.
It's odd, but this kinda reminds me of Looking for Alaska. Crushes were the best. I want to say go for it, because a lot of people I know went to their reunion and found out that their crush liked them back at the time. Anything can happen, but with that said ANYTHING can happen. >.< Emotions were always complicated.
I want to tell him but I'm afraid he won't like me back... Plus, I broke up with my first boyfriend three days ago because I just didn't like him anymore so I'm also afraid something like that will happen if he actually were to agree. So, either way I'll probably end up feeling like crap and completely scared. Even right now with him not knowing I'm worrying about it and I'm scared about it.
I just started talking to my old high school girlfriend, the first girl I ever loved, after not talking to her for a year. Bu before I dated her in high school I had a crush on her since 7th grade. Didnt ask her out until senior year. Maybe it would have been better if I asked her out earlier naybe not but I'll never know because it took me 6 years to finally ask her out. Anyway Just go for it. It doesn't matter what youre scared of. Because years later you might live in regret of what you didn't do, all because you were to nervous and scared of what might happen.
Thanks for the input. I think I'll get a bit of advice from a few of my friends over the week and hopefully have my choice made by the time I get back to school on Monday. :)
I've decided to keep whoever cares updated...
Today the conversation went: (we're in a technology class where we make objects on the computers)
me: No, it needs to be a wood finish. I'm doing oak.
him: I like walnut. It's good. Like you.
me: Is that a compliment?
him: Um, no.
me: Yes, it is.
him: Okay, fine.
Does this count as flirting??? Oh, God, I'm so confused... Ugh.
I attempted suicide and had to stay in a hospital for two months (not because of my injuries but because I needed supervision) and I'm thinking about attempting suicide again.
Suicide seems like the greatest thing right now.
I have no friends anymore because my closest friend turned everyone against me and now everyone hates me.
I hate myself so much.
My whole family hates me.
Everyone is disappointed because I'm the one who was supposed to be getting straight A's but instead I'm failing all my classes and it's stressing me out so much.
There's so much more that's wrong but it's too complicated to put into words.
It just seems easier to disappear. I don't care if that's the cowards way out. If I can get away from all this, then fine, I'm a coward.
It's not worth that. Things will get much better, I promise. Enemies are temporary. They're never there forever. New friends can be made. It just might take some time. As for family, they either come around and remember you're family and treat you as such, or you cut them out. It doesn't matter who they are. If they bring you down, don't keep them around. As for grades, I know it's hard. Just hang in there best you can. I can't help you solve all of your problems, and often it will seem there's no solution, but if you just hang in there it'll be okay. If you need help, try a suicide prevention hotline. I know. everyone points everyone to those, but hey, they just might be able to help. Can't hurt.
Doppelganger I think you need to talk to someone, counsellor, suicide hotline or even one of us here on funsubstance. If you ever need help please say something, it's not worth keeping it all in, I've been there done that and although you probably think it's cliche to say this it will get better. If you ever want to talk my kik account is mickymouse97.
If you were in a hospital, especially for 2 months "for supervision", then you would have access to the help you need, and wouldn't have to resort to talking to strangers on the internet. Of course, I'm only basing this on my own personal work experience.
Doppelganger, I know what you mean. But that does not, in anyway, shape, or form, mean suicide is a good thing. I'm not gonna go say 'get professional help' even though it might be a good idea, because I know how hard that is. But think about this:
People cared about you enough to keep you in hospital for two months, just so you wouldn't hurt yourself.
I know it's their job, but it's supposed to be your families job to love you unconditionally, and they don't always do that. I want you to give me one good reason about why everyone else, not you, may be better off with you dead. I'm not saying how you feel doesn't matter, I'm saying that you should wait it out for just a little. Go ahead and accuse me of not understanding, but really, I understand entirely. Ask pebble. Right now he's kinda annoyed with me because I refuse to get professional help. You're not alone. Wait it out a little, just for a bit. You never know what might happen the day after you die. Just think
What if?
Dopelbanger i know what you say, i think i know your feelings. I'm in a same situiation. Sometimes suicide seems to be the best way, i think it is for me now, but it's not. It's not worthy. Just wait and you see all thing will get better. I'm not sure, but i think it will.it Worth the wait. We can make it through. Trust me, worth the wait, i promise you won't regret. :)
Mgoevia: I used to have a therapist but something happened and now I don't.
Fandomspecialist: I'm ridiculous. Like ridiculously pathetic, ridiculously stupid, ridiculously sad, etc.
Mickymouse: thanks (: I'll kik you when I can.
Everyone else: thank you for commenting, I really do appreciate it.
So? I'm ridiculous. I'm so god damn pathetic that I don't mind when people pick on me because it means I'm getting acknowledged. I, honestly, seriously you're stupid. Like, really, really doubt it. Besides, if 'smartness' was a vital quality to be loved, needed, or even alive, I swear 3/4 of the population would be dead or SERIOUSLY ignored. Ridiculously sad is debatable, because it isn't that ridiculous.
PS I don't care that your last post was final-sounding and probably intended to finish the convo.
Theres a lot more reasons I need to just disappear forever but I dont feel like listing them...
And no, I didn't mean for that to be a convo finisher I just was saying that.
There's never a good reason to disappear, and if you do feel like you have that bad a life move away or start planning to move away and find a better life and friends etc. I had depression for a while and never told anybody, it was the hardest thing I've ever done and I told myself that at the age of 18 I would move cities and have the life I wanted; 2 more years left and I still want to go but I'm happy now and I've realised that the people in my life don't mean that much to me if I don't mean that much to them and why should I spend my time worrying about people I don't really care about?
So, I really never post on here and just browse but I felt like I should say something because no one is judging anyone on this post and I just need to get this off my chest because I can't tell anyone I know. Where I work there is a girl who I am friends with and for some reason I am attracted to her in not just a friendly way. I never thought something like this could happen because I am Christian and never thought about liking a girl. My parents would kill me. For some reason it's only when I'm around her but no one knows and I can't tell her... I see her and she's the only person I can think of... Help!!
You ma'am, have a crush, and that is completely normal! ^-^ My parents would've killed me too. 0-0 Go more into details? Like, how long has this been going on? Are you like best friends? Also, I've had fantasies as well.. There was this girl in 8th grade and I've never seen anyone so beautiful.. She was so perfect.
Don't worry too much about it, if something happens then awesome, you've got yourself a girlfriend! Sexuality is a very personal matter and no matter how much somebody tells you what is right and what is wrong it will always be your decision on whether you act on it or not.
There are plenty of gays, lesbians, and bisexuals (and pansexuals, asexuals, etc.) that are Christian. There's nothing wrong with it at all. If you need someone to talk to, I'm right here. I'm a Christian, gay, FtM transsexual. It's okay. If you like girls, it's just who you are. God will never fault you for that.
" If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that it’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud"
So, I really never post on here and just browse but I felt like I should say something because no one is judging anyone on this post and I just need to get this off my chest because I can't tell anyone I know. Where I work there is a girl who I am friends with and for some reason I am attracted to her in not just a friendly way. I never thought something like this could happen because I am Christian and never thought about liking a girl. My parents would kill me. For some reason it's only when I'm around her but no one knows and I can't tell her... I see her and she's the only person I can think of... :( Help!!
My comment above sounds heartless, I know. But, if you need to talk to someone, please do. Talking about it helps so much more than you would think. Pebble let me rant to him about my problem, and it made me feel better. If you want to talk to someone with the same problem, my kik is thatstrangegirl16. As mrssparklez said, we're all here for you.
Things have been happening on here that are really starting to hurt. Really bad. Its making me severely depressed and is bringing up suicidal thoughts. Just if people are this mean then what reason do I have to stick around? The world would be happier without me in it. I should just go and leave the world behind.
Things have been happening on here that are really starting to hurt. Really bad. Its making me severely depressed and is bringing up suicidal thoughts. Just if people are this mean then what reason do I have to stick around? The world would be happier without me in it. I should just go and leave the world behind. Obviously people on this site will be happier with me gone. And I'm prepared for all the things those people will say about this comment, they'll think I'm looking for attention and shit like that. I know I say I don't care anymore and I don't about down votes but when people follow my comments post to post just to argue with me and insult me it starts to hurt. I can handle an insult but when it keeps happening over and over ithurts a lot.
Pebbs. ): I know it does.. I don't even know what to say, it's probably just because I've become so numb because of my childhood, but that doesn't matter. I don't know what to do about those people, but just whatever. Do what makes you happy, and know that suicide is NOT the answer. I know there will be that time where you will be happy, and you're probably asking "When? cuz I can't handle this anymore, i just want it to be over" Well, I'm saying the same thing. I've been waiting for... 13 years now? It will come, you just need hope and faith, and know that there are people who care.
There's plenty of people here who like you. It's just sometimes the ones that don't are the loudest. I know. The comments get to me, too, sometimes. It's pretty bad. But we're here for ya, buddy! : D
Pebble, please don't go. I know what it's like to live in a environment were insult after insult is flung at you. I know being told to just stop thinking suicidal thoughts isn't going to do jack shit. But, I will tell you to not let the insults get to you. They're cowards, who say mean things and act so 'bravely' when they're the ones insulting others behind the safety of a screen. They are jealous, of the amazing, kind, wonderful person you are. You're there for complete strangers, like me. You helped me, and there was a time I wanted to kill myself, and I messaged you on kik. We talked about random things, till I was calm enough to just sleep and keep going the next day. YOU helped me when I wanted to end it all, and you didn't even know it. The world will NOT be happier without you in it. I've never even met you, and it would brake my heart. So please, know you are needed, and that I have the utmost respect for you.
Pebbles we're all here for you. Don't care about their insults, care about the ones who love you. Just look at the previous comments, you have people who love you and they're happier with you being around. I sometimes have suicidal thoughts like you, but deep down i know it's stupid, even i know that little cut was stupid. Someday you're gonna look back and be proud of yourself that you made it through. And remember, it's always darkest before dawn.
Who ever the guest or person that was targeting pebbles can go fuck themselves, because of them we had a family member leave and that's not ok, this isn't the place for making other people feel bad or insulting them. This is a place for fun, helping each other, making new friends, and being a big family that laughs and has feels together.
Please don't, Pebble! Please come back! Leave this site if necessary, but please, oh please, don't hurt yourself! The words and actions of a few aren't worth that!
I am sure he just meant he was leaving the site. He's an old, mature guy who is taking a trip for a few days, so I would look for him on his other sites, the kik and tumblr then. I wanted to post a link that was posted above for anyone who was triggered by this talk of suicide and self harm; you can't look to a humor site with no moderators as the best place to get help, but there are others available 24/7 ((thanks Saviour Self for the link)): I really encourage you all to take the next step and talk to someone trained to help: http://confession-of-the-depression.tumblr.com/hotlines
***This site is also great for tons of issues and has a "Chat Now" option:
http://youthinbc.com/youth-issues/suicide/
It's completely okay, it's really upsetting to see someone you care about in pain and talking about suicide, even in just the hypothetical. A lot of people on here I am sure have thoughts of suicide themselves or have lost someone to it, which increases that anxiety and worry. You have every right, all of you, to feel upset.
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Looking through his messages from the past few days he indicates he'll be taking a day or so off of FS to take a trip with his family, so we can be comforted knowing they will be around him, and the silence is because of a trip, not because of anything else.
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If he does leave FS, that's going to cause a different kind of pain, but as his friends on here we should support him doing what is healthy for him to do. If the trolling is too much for him, maybe there are other, more moderated sites. He should do what he needs to be happy.
If he has, that's his choice, and it's what he feels he needs to do to stay healthy. My guess is that he want to see home many people will 'miss 'him,' like a lot of depressives do. But just in case he leaves and you feel abandoned, remember you have each other to lean on, and check out this article: http://m.wikihow.com/Get-over-Losing-a-Friend
Oh no...pebble... I wish I could bring him back... If I could... I'm so sorry. I think the haters just have to go die, they don't know our pain... I'm afraid I might leave this site too oneday... I'm so sorry Sparklez for your loss. Will we hold a ceromony? Damn this post has to many comments I'm going to the other post where I asked whay happened. My phone seriously can't take all this.
*cries dragon tears*
I hope you get better and all the bad remarks towards you are soon forgotten. You are a wonderful person and no one can argue against that, believe me.
Yeah.. It's just gonna be so different with him gone, I hope I can handle it. I'll still be here in this pond, pebble's just taking a vacation. (I think I'm in denial)
As far as I have seen Pebble made no comments indicating that he liked you any less before this happened. I did notice he wasn't commenting as much though.
Yeah, that part's understandable since he was stressed out and told us he wouldn't be on much, with a whole bunch of personal reasons. And now this. It sucks. :/
This post is from a long time ago, but oh well...
I love guys, and I have crushes in lots of guys ;P but then there's my cousin's friend, I don't know if I really like her but I think she's beautiful and I get very nervous whenever I see her... I don't know her too much and I've not talked with her for too much time... But she even held my hand without even knowing me too much...
I don't really know if that makes me bi or not.
Update: She's starting to make a lot of eye contact with me... I just want to be friends with her for now and I think we're getting closer and that's good.
Hey MusicGirl- I think sexual identity (whether you are gay, straight, or anything in between) is so much more than a black and white issue. There have been studies done showing that there is only a super small percentage of people who exist as 100% homo or hetero sexual- most of us live somewhere in between. And just because today you are attracted to men doesn't mean tomorrow you won't find a girl who has everything you want in a partner, and your own thoughts of sexuality will change.
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Basically what I am saying is we are all looking for those people who make our hearts beat faster, who make us happier and better by being around them. If one day this turns out to be someone of the same gender, don't think there is anything wrong with you. You just are falling for their mind and spirit, not their parts.
***Here is a website with a bunch of great links and resources for people looking for answers on their sexuality. Hope this helps!: http://gayteens.about.com/od/glbtbasicsfo
Because I am standing next to you, Sara's, and reflecting all your awesomeness back. It's what I do around here, stand next to the awesome people in reflective clothing lol
Thank you so much! I think I need to wait and see who makes my heart beat faster when they are around... Right now, that's the girl I'm talking about. But she's the only girl I've ever loved.
I think I just need to wait...
Thanks anyway ;)
Definitely, and remember only you can define yourself, so there is no rush at all. Even if you choose never to label your sexuality and instead just say you fall in love with who you fall in love with (which is a great) that is perfect too. It's your body, mind, and spirit. Don't feel pressured to make it fit into a category.
No problem, and you're amazing! To be able to put into words what you are going through is very mature- a lot of people wouldn't be able to do that. You should be very proud of yourself :-)
Thank you Future, that means a lot! And I appreciate that, but alas lol- I am a woman- I could be The Drag King of Funsubstance- but I think you (Saras), Darkan, or Songofthewhitestag would be much better choices. For Kings, that is- drag optional
Oh well, thanks! You could be the Queen of FunSubstance!
Your motto would be:
"Always helping others!" :D
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Ok, so you can be Queen of Funsubstance :D. I don't know why, I always thought you were male. Also was your name intentional? (It sounds like Save Yourself) :)
Lol, I think Sparklez and Tara have the Queen title- I would rather be the wise slightly kooky old wizard with all the cool books and spells- that seems more me than royalty lol. And yes, Saviour Self was the pen name I took on for the advice column I had in high school, like a "Dear Abby" thing. I liked the word play :-)
Mamo, if you need to talk to someone immediately on or offline there is a free hotline- it really helps to have someone to talk to right when those thoughts of self harm get overwhelming. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7. There is a website's as well, http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. We all are pulling for you.
Thanks. When i was six i was raped and beaten by my father. Two years later i was diegnosed with depression and bipolarity. Ive tried to kill myself three times. Once when i was nine, pills, when i was ten, jumping, and two days ago, slitting my wrists.
Does it? My best friend of for years died two days ago, that's why i tried. My uncle has a tumor pressing in the back of his skull and has two fucking weeks. My life isn't getting better, its ending.
Mamo, I'm not trying to make this about me at all, okay? Just hear me out. I'm not going to go into detail or anything, but I've wished for my death since I was 8 years old. I promise you, it is bound to get better and that really is a bad thing to promise, but it's on me. I had an ounce of faith left, and it got me here. I'm glad I'm still here, because life does get better, no matter how hard it seems. You just need hope, okay? I hope this helped, even a little bit. I'm always on here and ready to talk if you need anybody to vent to. Just find me on one of my old posts or something.. I respect and understand everything you say just don't do anything without talking to me first, because I swear to you that I will not let anything happen to you, and I don't even know you, but this is how much I care.
I know it is hard to reach out for help, and there are a lot of people here who are definitely great to talk to. If you haven't had luck with the national lines, there are some available in Colorado (which is where you are from, I remember?) Which might help more locally. Also with your friend dying your school is required to hire a grief counselor, you could ask for one. Here are some links to Colorado Help:
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/colorado-suicide-hotlines.html
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Call Metro Crisis Line of Denver
If you’re struggling with a mental or emotional problem, having family or relationship problems, or problems at work or school, call Metro Crisis Line at 888-885-1222.
Free, confidential guidance and support is only a phone call away. They can help you find your own path to recovery and growth.
They also have a website: http://www.metrocrisisservices.org/
Absolutely, you are worthy of other's time, and our time. Your pain is real, and you deserve to have it acknowledged, and find the right help for you. It can make all the difference.
You're in my thoughts, and you are worthy- you just have to recognize that these thoughts of hopelessness and worthlessness take over your head, like a dark cloud or a storm. When that happens, it's not who you are, it doesn't define you. You have support numbers to call and a whole community here who is pulling for you. These thoughts are not who you are.
I feel so sad and unhappy all the time and I don't know why. I have a loving family, great friends, my life is not hard or full of woe, and I have absolutly nothing to complain about. But I just feel so depressed and I hate myself foe feeling this way because I feel like I'm taking my life for granted. But I really am so unhappy and frustrated with everything that happens. Whew. Feels good to say that. Thank you funsubstance family <3
Do not fear, Emmaly, you are not alone. Depression ensnares the best of us. You need not hate yourself for something that isn't your fault. We here on FunSubstance are here for you! Being able to relate personally, find something you enjoy doing, music you love, something of that nature, and immerse yourself. It can be the best medicine~
It means the world to me that complete strangers over the internet are so nice and trying to help me (and others) when I told my best friend this, she laughed and changed the subject. Thank you crestfallen :)
*hugs* No worries! Tag this anytime, okay? I met my best friend on the internet, and her influence saved my life. You always have us, okay? And if you ever find yourself down, just finding some of the posts here can be helpful. <3
I've been self harm free for about a month again, before that I was six months clean until I used a twistie at a corner in a party. I have no scars on my arms, but about 100+ on my legs. I want to self harm still. I can honestly say that. I want to hurt myself still. I can't, my parents know. But I still resist the urge. It's getting so much harder. My anorexia, which I thought was gone, keeps being a mindless wonder. I just.... hate myself.
I also held a blade to my wrist once... I don't think anybody cared then, but here I am... No scars on my wrists... So far... Apart from a broken heart and a messed up life... All's good
WHY THE FREAKING HELL ARE ALL THESE COMMENT GETTING DOWNVOTED!?!?!??!?! the post was to tell a secret, something we have never told anyone before.......for some of us it is really hard to do that......SHOW SOME RESPECT!!!!!!!
i have extreme anxiety issues, and i life in constant fear that i wont live up to my dads expectations (when he was at school he was popular, got straight A's and was captain of like 4 sports teams) dad doesn't really understand what its like to have my...issue.
im not getting great grades at school, and the school is pretty expensive (top girls school in my state). he's saying he will take me out of school, and send me to a public school up the street. this is really hard for me considering the anxiety and i find it really hard to make friends too. at the moment i have made some really strong friendships, and its going okay.
i just don't know what to do.
Just do the best you can, and talk to your dad about it if you haven't already. Also, keep in mind that you don't have to live your dad's life. Do what you enjoy, and learn what you can now. You've got an opportunity that most people don't. Plus, getting an education later in life is much more of a pain due to all the responsibilities that pile up in adulthood.
Sometimes I go out without sunscreen on for short amounts of time because otherwise I don't get any tan. I have very sensitive skin and tend to get sunburned easily.
There's this guy in my class I like, but I don't know what to do. Whenever we talk, it's damn awkward.
He's apart of this little friend-group in our class (including me, 3 of my friends, him and another guy) and we joke a lot during class. I've only known him for a year.
I mean, idk what to say or do. I'm so awkward.
The best thing is, be confident. Don't be over confident or pompous, but have enough confidence in yourself and you'll have a chance to be with this guy.
Omg guys so today we were in the hall today and I was showing my friend some songs and this guy I like was laying inbetween me and my friend and listening and it was so funny because his head was on my lap and I was really in an awkward but funny situation there. Idk what to think we were talking a lot and it was fun. We have a lot of things in common, especially even Pokemon! Lol, but he's totally fun.
Ive always not been very fond of my dad we always & I mean always probably once a day & to make it worse I find out I have a brother & a nephew. I don't know if I should be happy or be angry because he cheated on my mom while she was pregnant w/ my second oldest sister
BE CAREFUL HERE NOBODY CAN HELP YOU HERE OR EVEN SUGGEST HOW YOU CAN GET YOUR EX OR LOVE BACK,ANY TESTIMONIES OF MOST SPELL CASTER HERE MUST BE IGNORE.BECAUSE MOST OF THEM ARE SCAM I MEAN REAL SCAM WHICH I WAS A VICTIM AND I GOT RIPPED OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS BECAUSE I WAS SO ANXIOUS TO GET MY WIFE ROSE AFTER SHE LEFT ME FOR OVER 2YEARS WITH MY 7YEARS OLD SON JERRY,I HAVE APPLIED TO 7 DIFFERENT SPELL CASTER HERE AND ALL TO NO AVAIL THEY ALL ASK FOR SAME THING SEND YOUR NAME YOUR EX NAME ADDRESS AND PICTURE PHONE NUMBER ETC WHICH I DID OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND MOST OF THEM WERE FROM SOUTH AFRICA UNTIL I SAW THIS Email Online ABOUT DR ALUDA SPELL AND I DECIDED TO GAVE HIM A CALL.HE ASK ME FOUR THINGS MY REAL NAME,MY EX AND MY EX MOTHER NAME AND AND SAID MY EX WILL COME BACK IN FIVE DAYS TIME SO I HAVE TO END THE CALL AS I HAVE PAID OVER $7000 ON SPELL CASTING AND COURIER AND NOTHING HAVE WORK FOR ME AFTER 5 DAYS I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I HAVE LOST SO FAR BECAUSE OF ROSE SO I SAID
am from New York. why i am writing this testimony is because i made a promised that who so ever that help me out of my shit and predicament deserves to be known by the world. Am 26 years of age my husband left me some months ago that am a piece of old cargo that there is nothing on earth that can bring our paths together as long as he breaths. I felt really bad because i loved him so dearly', one day i came across some testimonies of this spell caster called DR Aluda, So i decided to give him a chance, i lost hope because i heard that there are lots of scammers down there. but when he told me things so personal which i knew was so secret that was only known to me then i gave him a chance out of my doubting spirit but to my greatest surprise my husband called me 2 days after ,that he is so sorry for all the pains he has made me pass through. presently our love is more than that of romeo and Juliet , he takes good care of me now 100% than before.And he's also specialized in solving all k
I feel like I need a friend. Don't get me wrong, I am very close to my siblings and have good friends as well but I am feeling alone. I know that I am very lucky with my life and therefore I feel terrible and I think it's kind of inappropriate for me to wish for even more. But I can't help it. My friends, which consider themselves probably as my best friends, are coming to me for advice and help if they have a problem, just like real friends do and I am more than glad to help them whereever I can. But at the same time I feel like I can't come to them because they can't help me because I am feeling alone - even with them. And I don't really feel like they know the real me. I just don't know how to go on. I don't want to lose them because they are the very best of me. I would ask you for help, but how could you possibly help me? I don't want to question your helping skills but how can you know me when I know myself so little?
I felt like this a couple years back even when family, my aunts, uncles, cousins were around me. It sucks and I did feel like no one connects to you or understands you. It was frustrating when I wanted to be able to "fit in" but I learned to accept who I really was, and the crippling overbearing fears disappeared gradually. Read a book. Just chat with some friends. Enjoy a show or your own private places. You'll find that friend you need, but remember that you are never alone.
i'm a closeted trans boy. i don't self harm. nobody supports me medically. i'm 13 and just wanted blockers. everyone in my family is either transphobic or abusive.
my teacher came out for me without asking and i got beat up just to get grounded. i hope someone out there makes a differance for kids like us, the ones that didn't get killed. i'm thanking leelah and all the other trans out there who didn't make it. i'm sorry and we miss you.
Wow... No. Please don't do that. I have had these thoughts on and off for the past few years, and I know how hard it is.
But please stay strong!
I know it might feel awful now, but think about what you're doing. The people that will miss you, your family, friends, us here on FS.
There is heaps of hotlines and websites and YouTube channels out there too help you if you ever need it, and most of us on FS are totally happy to talk if you need.
Please stay strong!
Don't. Please. We are here for you. I'll post my cell number if need be. I've had the thoughts as well and I've had close friends go through with it. It doesn't solve the agony, it prolongs it for those who love you. It's worthless. Just please don't. Things will get better. I promise.
Guardian's right, it will get better. I've had my fair share of thoughts but I've always been stopped by friends or family or people who love me. If you ever, and I mean ever, need someone to talk/rant to I'm here for ya. I'll post my phone number if you want or you can kik me or snapchat me or anything, just talk to someone, please.
I think this right here is a prime example of people who care about you. There are people who are able to care this much without even knowing you that well. Just imagine how much you could mean to them if you were to give them that chance. If you were to give yourself that chance. Life is full of beauty, and you shouldn't dwell on the dark things and let them obscure that beauty. Find it, embrace it, and stay with those worthy of being around you.
And I understand that. I truly do. But giving someone else a chance and choosing to forgive myself for... whatever I'm actually blaming myself for are much different. And there is no way to convince myself that I can be okay, even if it is beautiful. And I... honestly?
I think this is a beautiful thing. You can see it; it's fragile and vulnerable and real. And it hasn't been changed by anyone but you and those you listen to. And the beautiful thing is you are destroying yourself. Whether you mean to or not.
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· 9 years ago
I've literally cried to myself when I only can find straight guys. Then, when I find a gay or bisexual, he's already taken or not interested.
First off high goddamn five for being open with this. Secondly, you gotta just keep trying man. You'll see, you'll find a nice guy. When you do I want you to come back here and tell us all about him, got it?
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· 9 years ago
:D Thanks, I'm bi and my family just doesn't get it(even though I have the most obvious signs, like crossing my legs and looking at guys' crotch RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.)I'm not saying that they need to know right now, just that they don't see it. Anyways, I've been seeing some guys that have come out, and I hope to get to date them. Finally, *high fives* and *eats a PB cookie*
That's awesome! If you don't mind me asking... how'd you come out? I'm bi, too, and nobody knows but my close friends. And I don't know whether or not to say anything, because all my grandparents are super religious and "gay marriage is sin" and all that and I'm just like "yup thanks". Anyway. Great job for coming out!
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· 9 years ago
Okay, so first it was like my best friend asked me "So help me, are you gay?" I facepalmed and said "No, I'm bi." This gossipin' bitch overheard, told everyone and I just didn't reject it. Anyways, my family is so damn Christian, if I told them I was interested in guys, they would throw crosses at me until I tell them I was joking. This is one of the many reasons I became agonistic.
I'm agnostic, too! *high five* I just. Don't know how.
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· 9 years ago
You ever have that awkward moment where they are talking about Christ and then they say: "THIS IS THE TRUTH" and you think like: "Yeah, sure, prove it without the book and the sky....."? I've had like 20 of those moments...Also, *high fives and kisses on cheek* Can't control myself sometimes.
I support Gary rights because I have family who is gary (hoping to god someone gets my reference so I don't sound entirely insane.) I'm not gay no, but I am an ally.
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I'll just eRADICATE (I hope to god I spelled it right) your Gary rights.
Ok. I was looking up pics of the cutest ten year old boys (yes yes I know.) and one of the links said, "cutest babe ever!" So I clicked on it thinking it was about babies and it wasn't. I looked at it for about ten seconds, closed the laptop, and dumped it in the pond behind my house.
(This is going to feature terrible grammar and story telling, and I'm sorry) My mom is an alcoholic and has been recovered for two years now, but i fear she will relapse and become the abusive person she was before. When she was drunk she'd become all kinds of abusive and two years ago I was so done with it all I begged my grandmas to let me live with them. They accepted and three days later my mom still hadn't realized my room was empty and I was gone.My grandma had to go to her and tell her I was to live with them until she got better.To this day I still wonder how terrible of a person and how invisible I must be that my own mother wouldn't notice my absence from this world.
I was bullied for 10 Years Straight, 1st Grade to my early sophomore Year. Let's get it straight, I was a 300+ Lbs. Man with a voice higher than that of a little girl. I was teased mercilessly. I was depressed, there'd be days where I'd just cry and cry and cry. I had suicidal thoughts. I was afraid of myself. I tried to get help, but no one listened, even my Middle school vp, didn't listen. The kids would tease me for the worst of things: the way i walk, the Way I walked, my voice, my weight, my brother who was in the hospital dying from a gunshot wound to the head. I was in HELL. Also, I couldn't fight back, or risk ruining my reputation, it was a small town school, everybody's parents knew each other, and facing punishment, they could have stopped.
Also, when I bring some of this up, I've been denied or been told I was stupid for thinking the way I was thinking.
Yeah, but actually writing the word 'love' on my arm never helped me, it just made me want to (as disturbing as it sounds) cut over it, so I didn't have to see what I felt like I was never going to have, I usually write DPTR on my palm. Don't prove them right.
Please don't, idoubledareyou. There's no need for that. You may not see it now, but there's plenty to live for. Don't miss out on life's joys. Everything does get better in time.
You are sooo beautiful. And I know you're probobly reading this and thinking "she doesn't even know me, what does she know ?" But do you know what I know ? You are beautiful. There is so much to live for. Pleaaase do not ever think it is neccesary to ever hurt or kill yourself. You are loved. Never give up.
Don't, suicide is a permanent action for a temporary cause! I'm sure everyone has been there at one stage in their life.. But there are people who love you and would miss you! You need to rise up above whatever is causing you to feel this way and when you look back later in life,you'll smile, look around at your beautiful family and be glad you didn't do it! :D
You say you haven't touched anyone's life, but for me, you have all opened my eyes to a terrible world of people who I didn't even think really existed. I've lived a very sheltered and privileged life, but I always heard stories of people who self harm and get bullied and kill themselves. But it was never real to me. All of these stories here have shown me that these people DO exist, and I just want to help all of you. I don't want you to feel this way. Please don't kill yourself. Don't cut and scar your arms. People may hate on you for whatever their reasons, but you don't have to make it worse by hating on yourself, too. I don't want you to die, even if I've never met you. I don't want you to feel like this. I can't get your attackers to stop, and I suppose you've already tried. And we can't always change our attackers' points of view. We can't always make them stop. We can't get their words and actions to stop. But we can stop those words and actions from hurting us. Please.
If you think about it, only you can save yourself. So please don't cut. Don't scar your body. You can't erase those scars. But those words that they say to you that scar your mind? You can erase those. You can let them hurt you. Or you can try and block them out.
I honestly don't know how you feel. I've never felt like killing myself because of some words. But I hope this helped.
I'm so sorry, jb. I'm certain his actions don't reflect you at all. It's unfortunate you're stuck with him. You don't deserve that at all. I'm sure any other guy would realize how lucky he is to have you and appreciate every day he has with you.
Don't let one asshole spoil your life. Yes you will have to wade in waste deep pools of bullshit, but you'll find good people, like that boy you mentioned.
Ok I know I'm gonna get downvotes like fuck, but I'm gonna tell you all a secret. Everyone on this site is mentaly unstable, that's why we come here, to foget our troubles and have a good time. I know some people are really suicidal but most of these people are just fishing (for complaments), and get a boost when people tell them how important they are. If your life is as bad as you go on you should have killed yourself by now and shouldn't have commented here. If you tried killing yourself once and it didn't work, you'll never be able to go through with it. Thanx for the people who aren't going on about crap and making this a fun comment section like thegrumpus !!!
Well thats a way to be a bitch. There are a lot of people suicidal on here and you just tell them to go and do the deed.
Is there something you need to talk about?
Cause after all this post was made for admitting things.
I'm sorry that you have such a wonderfull life that made you ignorant.
If you can't handle then don't bother to read it.
That reminds me of my secret.
I take everything I read on the internet with a grain of salt. Actually, it's more like one of those giant salt blocks you sometimes give horses on a farm.
That said, I can totally understand why someone would not care about dying. Sometimes it can be hard to find reasons to go on living. Modern life can often be soul-crushing and devoid of meaning.
I'm not suicidal, but sometimes I daydream about what I might do if I was. I think I'd be one of those people that start doing risky things like skydiving or something, not giving two craps about going splat, only to have so much fun that I have a reason to live again. So I say, if you're feeling that way, take it upon yourself to go out and find that reason, because it's not going to come find you!
1. Thanx guest I was hoping for someone like y♡u 2. vodka I'm just delivering my opinion, I did not have a wonderful life, infact I had a shity life. My father beat my mother up until she died (when a cement truck ran over her car). And I have had suicidal thoughts, but I never complaind about any of it. (Sory for the bad grammer)
HELLO i have read testimonies about this great spell caster called Dr. Ekpiku how he helped people to bring their lover back. so i decide to give him a try, i am here today to give my own testimony on how this great man brought my ex back within 48 hours for just to contact him. this girl has broke up with me over 6 weeks but she came back just within 48 hours that Dr Ekpiku said he will make her come back to me. just contact this man and he will bring your ex back here is his email address mail. [email protected]
You just made my week, Blades. Thank you, and thanks for sharing ^^
Can't help you with the awkward thing, but I'll give you one bit of advice; it's easier to deal with awkwardness than it is to deal with the 'what if's.
Good luck with your dad, hopefully he can mellow out a bit about it :)
I really hope for you that you won't experience any damage. I'm happy that you are recovered and I hope you'll be okay.
More info: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
There are avenues for help out there, I hope this will be a good start for you :)
Best I can find at the moment.
please tell me it was an accident
Zo i really hope u mean accidentally
Edit: Actually it's not just human, elephants are known to cry when a member of their herd dies.
cruel to me at school, and I disappoint my parents. Sometimes my parents tell me stuff that destroys me, but I never tell them that. I hate myself, but I can't kill myself. But now I have someone I need to look after and how loves me just the way I am. I could never leave him, but I'm afraid of him leaving me. He's done it once before, and I hope that things have changed. He says they have and I don't want to have this fear of the only special person in my life going away from me.
pebbleinthepond you may not know me but I know you and You. Are. A. Fucking. FUNSUBSTANCE. Legend. I've been observing you and you're too frikking awesome to live alone. Remember every pot has it's lid (Afrikaans saying). I love you man
Balony, do you live in South africa?
To all of you that feel so bad, there is hope. Ive tried to kill myself 2 times and been in therapy for years and it can get better. I never thought there would be a way out of the darkness but talking helps. So if you are able, find someone to talk to. Even 'strangers' on the internet can help. I've seen some comments from people offering help and I just want to say I'm here too if someone needs to talk <3
P.s. meowiamacat what's your Wattpad username?
You're*
And, if anyone wants to talk to me or anything, my tumblr's whyispickingausernamesohard. I don't have a kik or anything else (I've been too lazy to make accounts for even facebook and twitter), but my skype's jessica.polley10 if anyone uses that.
I crave human contact but I hate people.
I will cry at the littlest things.
I pretend I don't care but I care oh so much.
I'm slightly a perfectionist.
I need to be included.
I hate my best friend.
I hate myself sometimes, but it's not like I hate my body or whatever, it's little things, like I hate my voice.
I always feel like I might not be good enough.
There's this little voice in my head that tells me I'm strong and I can do anything, but then another tells me I can't. I tend to choose the latter.
I'm more comfortable telling my secrets to a bunch of strangers on here than I am telling them to my "best friend".
I want to be an actress or a singer, but then I get up in front of my class to present or three of my own teachers to audition for the school musical and I just can't stop shaking from fright.
And I'm just glad I can get up in front of a crowd of people I don't know and talk :)
he doesn't know its because the last relationship I was in was mentally and physically abusive.. I cant get over the fact and i'm terrified he'd hit me even though I know hes not like that... I just cant help it and I am scared he's gonna leave :(
I know you guys are all very nice and sweet but I just can't help it.
Sorry for all the swearing (I don't swear at all in my native language) but I honestly don't know how to say this otherwise.
I'm also in love with a guy that would never love me back and nobody knows.
But yeah, don't make an account. We already have enough suicidal Debby Downers on FS.
Even if they're not bullshitting, FS is simply not the place for this. It's a humor site, for crying out loud. What don't you feelsy teenagers understand about that? Sure, the post title makes for a bit of a gray area, but this behavior isn't confined to this post.
Btw, it hasn't escaped my notice that FSers can be huge assholes to people, yet nearly-collectively bend over backwards to coddle these rampant "suicidal" sadsacks. One couldn't be blamed for thinking the "helpers" are only interested in the appearance of being a good person. I've even heard a handful of FSers brag about how many lives they've "saved". Like points.
And I don't want these people to leave. I'd gladly settle for a community that didn't encourage this bullshit. It's to the point of enabling, now. Not to mention some of the teen boys on here seem like the kind of sickos that try to take advantage of poor, damaged teen girls. These kind of things really kill the mood, ya know?
Any of you that are reading thing. Suicide and blades are not the answer to anything. It may help for that short amount of time but it will still bother you. Try to find something else to express yourself with. Art, music, dance, etc. and a quick reminder, it gets better there are so many people that you have affected! Have great days, and believe me when I say all of you are kind would and deserve to live. (:
I used to be best friends with a girl who lived on my street. I met her in fifth grade, and we were friends till seventh. In seventh grade, I didn't know it but my anxiety and anger was getting really bad and I thought everything was her fault and I started being rude to her even though she didn't deserve it. That year I switched schools, and started getting help for my anxiety and anger, and realized what I'd done. I didn't see her again until high school, I tried calling her, but she'd never answer her phone.
Now she glares at me when she sees me, and it kills me inside a bit, to make things worse, I think I've fallen in love with her now, and it kills me to think of the things I did to her. She'll probably never forgive me, but deep down inside, I'm just happy to see her smile with her friends, but it still kills me inside when she glares at me.
When I was in middle school, I went through a lot of bullying. Mostly name-calling and stuff. My favorite incident was the time the new kid came up to me during class and told me that he hated me because he had been watching me and decided that I was a "nagging bitch." All this made me a really strong person emotionally, and as much as it sucked then, I don't regret that it happened. It taught me to not be a doormat.
I guess my real regret is how it changed me. Recently, that new kid tried to friend me on Facebook, after 2 years, and I flipped shit. My friends all said he wasn't an asshole anymore, and I know personally how 2 years can change someone, but in my mind that didn't apply to him. I just couldn't forgive, and I really still can't.
I regret that the mistakes these kids made have made me a worse person, permanently.
I feel like I was betrayed by my mother just over a year ago, even though I know I shouldn't feel that way. I finally had the guts to tell her I was depressed and "Didn't want to be here/wanted to die" (but I would NEVER harm or have the guts to actually attempt suicide. The thought always scared me) I didn't want it to be a big deal, but I decided that I should tell the truth for once. I was wrong. That night she admitted me to a psych ward. I was pretty much put through torture in the ER (where they later shipped me off to the ward), and heard her say the two words that will likely haunt me forever. "Take her." Voluntary hold, and no matter how much I begged, all she said was "They'll fix you." That ward... Even over a year later I have nightmares. Diagnosed trauma.My mother doesn't know that it is still affecting me, at least I don't think she does. But I'm afraid if she finds out, she will send me again....
I shouldn't say "badmouth" as much as "talk smack". Dark humor is good for the soul.
Also, it's especially tedious when half the comments are about suicide. I know it's frowned upon here to say something like that, but let's be honest, I doubt many of you are going to see this post way down here, anyway.
Sorry about the phone. I'm on a laptop. OH! There's another thing about me, I've never owned a cell phone.
According to her baby boards, this is called "mom porn". Who knew?
All anyone can talk about now are the two people that failed to contain him (one of them a security guard), and the fact that if he "really wanted to", he could have gotten free, hurt a lot of people, etc.
I know they probably don't mean to, but I feel like this really belittles me and the fact that I did what I did, without hesitation, no less.
#humblebrag I know, I know. Maybe I AM looking for a little appreciation, while fully realizing this isn't really the place for it. High internet fives are acceptable, though.
So there's this one kid I sit by in one of my classes and I think he's kinda cute and he's really funny. And there was this one time when I think he kinda-sorta-accidentally called me cute because he started calling me a puppy so I questioned it and he said "puppies are cute" with a little shrug. He denies it, though. Apparently I'm more fierce. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I really like him but I'm not sure and I kinda want him to have an account here and recognize this and know, but I doubt it.
Today the conversation went: (we're in a technology class where we make objects on the computers)
me: No, it needs to be a wood finish. I'm doing oak.
him: I like walnut. It's good. Like you.
me: Is that a compliment?
him: Um, no.
me: Yes, it is.
him: Okay, fine.
Does this count as flirting??? Oh, God, I'm so confused... Ugh.
(Also I know this is weird but can I make this into a story? I love to write and it sounds like a fun idea.)
I have no friends anymore because my closest friend turned everyone against me and now everyone hates me.
I hate myself so much.
My whole family hates me.
Everyone is disappointed because I'm the one who was supposed to be getting straight A's but instead I'm failing all my classes and it's stressing me out so much.
There's so much more that's wrong but it's too complicated to put into words.
It just seems easier to disappear. I don't care if that's the cowards way out. If I can get away from all this, then fine, I'm a coward.
People cared about you enough to keep you in hospital for two months, just so you wouldn't hurt yourself.
I know it's their job, but it's supposed to be your families job to love you unconditionally, and they don't always do that. I want you to give me one good reason about why everyone else, not you, may be better off with you dead. I'm not saying how you feel doesn't matter, I'm saying that you should wait it out for just a little. Go ahead and accuse me of not understanding, but really, I understand entirely. Ask pebble. Right now he's kinda annoyed with me because I refuse to get professional help. You're not alone. Wait it out a little, just for a bit. You never know what might happen the day after you die. Just think
What if?
Fandomspecialist: I'm ridiculous. Like ridiculously pathetic, ridiculously stupid, ridiculously sad, etc.
Mickymouse: thanks (: I'll kik you when I can.
Everyone else: thank you for commenting, I really do appreciate it.
PS I don't care that your last post was final-sounding and probably intended to finish the convo.
And no, I didn't mean for that to be a convo finisher I just was saying that.
About 2 hours ago.
***This site is also great for tons of issues and has a "Chat Now" option:
http://youthinbc.com/youth-issues/suicide/
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Looking through his messages from the past few days he indicates he'll be taking a day or so off of FS to take a trip with his family, so we can be comforted knowing they will be around him, and the silence is because of a trip, not because of anything else.
+
If he does leave FS, that's going to cause a different kind of pain, but as his friends on here we should support him doing what is healthy for him to do. If the trolling is too much for him, maybe there are other, more moderated sites. He should do what he needs to be happy.
*cries dragon tears*
Shhh don't tell them my secret, I don't want to disappoint them
Impostor!!!
I love guys, and I have crushes in lots of guys ;P but then there's my cousin's friend, I don't know if I really like her but I think she's beautiful and I get very nervous whenever I see her... I don't know her too much and I've not talked with her for too much time... But she even held my hand without even knowing me too much...
I don't really know if that makes me bi or not.
Update: She's starting to make a lot of eye contact with me... I just want to be friends with her for now and I think we're getting closer and that's good.
°
Basically what I am saying is we are all looking for those people who make our hearts beat faster, who make us happier and better by being around them. If one day this turns out to be someone of the same gender, don't think there is anything wrong with you. You just are falling for their mind and spirit, not their parts.
***Here is a website with a bunch of great links and resources for people looking for answers on their sexuality. Hope this helps!: http://gayteens.about.com/od/glbtbasicsfo
I think I just need to wait...
Thanks anyway ;)
You should be proud of yourself for making people feel safe! Thank you!
Your motto would be:
"Always helping others!" :D
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/colorado-suicide-hotlines.html
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Call Metro Crisis Line of Denver
If you’re struggling with a mental or emotional problem, having family or relationship problems, or problems at work or school, call Metro Crisis Line at 888-885-1222.
Free, confidential guidance and support is only a phone call away. They can help you find your own path to recovery and growth.
They also have a website: http://www.metrocrisisservices.org/
im not getting great grades at school, and the school is pretty expensive (top girls school in my state). he's saying he will take me out of school, and send me to a public school up the street. this is really hard for me considering the anxiety and i find it really hard to make friends too. at the moment i have made some really strong friendships, and its going okay.
i just don't know what to do.
He's apart of this little friend-group in our class (including me, 3 of my friends, him and another guy) and we joke a lot during class. I've only known him for a year.
I mean, idk what to say or do. I'm so awkward.
my teacher came out for me without asking and i got beat up just to get grounded. i hope someone out there makes a differance for kids like us, the ones that didn't get killed. i'm thanking leelah and all the other trans out there who didn't make it. i'm sorry and we miss you.
Don't tell anyone
But please stay strong!
I know it might feel awful now, but think about what you're doing. The people that will miss you, your family, friends, us here on FS.
There is heaps of hotlines and websites and YouTube channels out there too help you if you ever need it, and most of us on FS are totally happy to talk if you need.
Please stay strong!
I think this is a beautiful thing. You can see it; it's fragile and vulnerable and real. And it hasn't been changed by anyone but you and those you listen to. And the beautiful thing is you are destroying yourself. Whether you mean to or not.
But
Omg
/I'm with Darkanhell/
NECROBUMP THIS WOO
._.
Also, when I bring some of this up, I've been denied or been told I was stupid for thinking the way I was thinking.
http://www.wikihow.com/Convince-Yourself-Not-to-Commit-Suicide
http://imwiththeclouds.tumblr.com/post/38347319557/100-reasons-to-why-you-shouldnt-commit-suicide
http://notesfromtherecoveringselfharmer.tumblr.com/40reasonsnottocommitsuicide
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
If you want more, I just gave you the stuff I could see without scrolling down: https://www.google.com/search?q=reasons+not+to+commit+suicide&rlz=1C1LENP_enUS488US488&oq=reasons+not+to+commit+suicide&aqs=chrome..69i57.5747j0j1&sourceid=chrome&espv=210&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8
I honestly don't know how you feel. I've never felt like killing myself because of some words. But I hope this helped.
*le cookies*
I feel bad that your efforts didn't get you any attention, so here ya go!
You could even be so lucky as to marry your soul mate, and there are going to be times when you realize even THEY are an asshole.
Is there something you need to talk about?
Cause after all this post was made for admitting things.
I'm sorry that you have such a wonderfull life that made you ignorant.
If you can't handle then don't bother to read it.
I take everything I read on the internet with a grain of salt. Actually, it's more like one of those giant salt blocks you sometimes give horses on a farm.
That said, I can totally understand why someone would not care about dying. Sometimes it can be hard to find reasons to go on living. Modern life can often be soul-crushing and devoid of meaning.
I'm not suicidal, but sometimes I daydream about what I might do if I was. I think I'd be one of those people that start doing risky things like skydiving or something, not giving two craps about going splat, only to have so much fun that I have a reason to live again. So I say, if you're feeling that way, take it upon yourself to go out and find that reason, because it's not going to come find you!