That's not how it works. we live in a civilized society someone just touching you is no excuse for violence. Imagine if we are sitting on the bus and you elbow me in the side and i punch you in the face was it self defense? no. look up what assault is then you will have a idea when you can defend your self. but the police can still arrest you depending on many factors even if it was self defense . before hitting someone you better ask your self if its worth it to go to jail for.
@rachee Lawyer here. You're incorrect. Assault is to put another in fear of immediate harm or offensive contact. Therefore, being jostled around on a bus or sidewalk is categorically excluded from the definition. A stranger running their hands through your hair, though, is offensive contact (assault and battery).
if im standing there and a cop is next to me and this woman touches my hair and i hall off and punch her i'm going to jail. even if i repeatedly tell her to stop touching me. even if she threatens that she wants to scalp me and weir it as a wig. Maybe a judge will see it as self defense or many he will see it as assault. either way this is going to court and its going to cost money. next did i use to much force did the woman get some thing like a detached retina or maybe a bone splinter that gets infected and she loses a eye because now there is possibility for lawsuit. on paper ya she was committing assault and battery and i was defending my self in reality that's not how its going to go there will be charges and lawyers and judges and defending your self from this woman will have cost money time and the possibility of being found guilty. again before hitting someone you better ask your self if its worth it.
Yea if a cop sees someone grab your hair and you auto react and he arrests YOU, then hes not doing his job. I have ptsd. If someone GRABS me, even just my hair, I can assure you I will react and it will absolutely not be on me. Now youre correct that theres a big difference between defending yourself and excessive force, but we're not saying beat the ever living shit out of them.
You're rite if someone touches you hit them go ahead i'm sure the cop will tell you its fine and you can go on your way. and if they have a problem with it still then tell the cop you have ptsd, mental illness and violence goes over real well with the police. im done trying to keep stupid people out of jail. you win your right i'm unfollowing this post.
I've never been so tempted to tag someone just to drag them back to a post for no reason...
'
It's always so sad when logic ruins a person's entire life like this
True story, yesterday at work (I'm a cashier), this woman starts complimenting my hair, saying how soft it looks or whatever, and she at one point just asks if she could touch it. Like, my account is all about the flirty/unembarrassed Captain Jack Harkness, but like, this was real.
Why would you wanna touch somebody else’s hair that’s incredibly weird. do people actually do that especially w/o permission?!? Not just the part of it being rude and weird but it’s kinda unsanitary as well that’s how lice could be spread.
People would touch my hair all the time when I worked in retail. Coworkers, customers I was serving, and sometimes just random people I'd had no interaction with.
No i have pretty straight hair but I have a big pet peeve with people touching other people’s hair when anyone touches my hair a recoil, slink back and walk away. I cannot stand to watch people playing with other people’s hair it’s so weird to me.
I don’t understand why people getting offended by somebody asking if they can touch your hair. Obviously nobody would be happy if somebody touched their hair without permission but if somebody is asking you why get offended? Just politely decline if you don’t want them to.
I once asked a black female friend something like this and she said because it’s an intrusion of personal space by a complete stranger and, to try to quote, ‘Imagine if everywhere you went some random person always asked to touch your hair. You’d get pretty tired of it. We [black women] are not petting zoos.’ I realize one voice doesn’t speak for the masses but I see her point.
Many years ago I had the fortune to hit it off with a rather attractive woman of color and learned that she didn’t like her hair touched. This wouldn’t have been as surprising if it wasn’t in the middle of sex.
Because it's not just somebody asking to touch hair. Once, it's fine. Twice, okay. But it happens constantly instead of people minding their own damn business.
Never go to China then cause if you've got a different hair type or color you'll have people just walk up and touch it, and if you get upset about it you're treated as the weird or offensive one.
I just don’t understand being offended as long as the person is polite. You obviously have the right to decline and I wouldn’t endorse touching somebody’s hair without asking. If something as simple as people asking to touch your hair every so often makes you angry or offends you that just seems kinda sad to me.
You're making a big assumption that the person is polite. I had a redheaded friend that went to China to teach English for a few months and people would just grab her hair to feel it or look at it. There was no asking and a few times they got quite upset that she wouldn't just stand there and let them look all they wanted. Now there were polite people too, it's just people are people and as a race we are almost entirely selfish and self-centered. This is especially true with people we don't consider family or friends.
@meatball2012 Based on my friend’s explanation, I don’t think the issue is whether or not people are polite. It’s the frequency of the requests and that they’re made by total strangers with whom she has no connection. So, I tried to put myself in her shoes. Let’s say that ‘every so often’ means twice a week (but she has a lot of eye-catching, curly hair so it could happen more often). That would mean over 100 strangers ask to touch her hair each year. To put it another way, imagine if 100 strangers asked - politely - to touch your elbow or your knee every year. It’s a benign body part. But have strangers asked to touch anything on your body 100 times this year? Would that start to get on your nerves after a while? Would you think ‘I don’t ask to touch your hair so why do you feel like it’s okay to touch mine? And why should I have to change the way my hair grows to stop this?’ I can only guess but I imagine that this might be how she feels about it.
I can understand how that can bother people but I still hold my stance because I think that’s a dumb thing to be annnoyed over. It’s hair. Humans are a curious species. I see nothing wrong with asking (politely, and being able to accept no as the answer).
So I should let strangers touch me because they ask pretty please? If someone stops you and asks to touch your nails and starts caressing them, you wouldn't be weirded out by that?
Everyone should know by now that black women do not like for our hair to be touched by strangers. I swear the only person in my life that has ever asked permission to touch my hair was an Korean exchange student in high school. I let him and the rest is history.
True story: my friends has simple braids and as we were flying through Thailand, every person in the airport either (i). stared open mouthed (ii). asked to touch it, or (iii). asked to take a picture with her. She politely declined and they just started taking pics anyway. Super awk.
'
It's always so sad when logic ruins a person's entire life like this