Let's see

Grosser than soggy underwear on a motor boat

Scarier than a live armadillo in spring time.

Worse than a dead catfish at the legion

Angrier than soggy underwear at a monster truck rally

Sweeter than my cousin with a can of Coke. Sounds like some small town love bugs

Grosser than soggy underwear at a monster truck rally

Meaner than my cousin at a rodeo

Cuter than soggy underwear in a pig sty

Cuter than my cousin in cowboy boots

Scarier than apple pie in a chicken coop.

Cuter than a hot dog at a rodeo

I feel my married name is homophobic
It’s angrier than your uncle with a boyfriend
Lol

Scarier than a wet dog at a monster truck rally.... I'm most definitely going to use this

Worse than a dead catfish at a barbecue.
.
Barbecued catfish, anyone?

More twisted then my cousin in a pig sty

Worse than a wet dog with a fly squatter

Louder than a hungry cat with white beard