I will kick your butt so hard your vertebrae will come out 1 by 1 like a Pez dispenser

4 years ago by purplepumpkin · 499 Likes · 28 comments · Popular

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I will kick your butt so hard your vertebrae will come out 1 by 1 like a Pez dispenser

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mr_pigeonwizard · 4 years ago · FIRST

That's what I like to call a good start

1 Reply

captainjackharknes · 4 years ago

I will piss on your clipboard

dr_richard_ew · 4 years ago

I'm gonna staple your dick shut

purplepumpkin · 4 years ago

Good luck finding my dick, Dick.

dr_richard_ew · 4 years ago

FOOL, I AM YOUR DICK!

purplepumpkin · 4 years ago

After reading this, I cannot emphasize enough how much I would love for you to staple my dick shut.

dr_richard_ew · 4 years ago

If you insist!
*grabs the industrial stapler*

1 Reply

critikaldonut · 4 years ago

I will shave your eyelids

4 Reply

nelson · 4 years ago

“I will harvest your toes”
@xvarnah you still doing that?

xvarnah · 4 years ago

Your toes, hand 'em over

nelson · 4 years ago

You already took them

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anthracite · 4 years ago

"I will fart in your general direction"

4 Reply

karlboll · 4 years ago

I swear by all that is unholy I will paint your nails with a shade that does not match any of your outfits.

3 Reply

joshary · 4 years ago

I enjoy alliteration so I always find myself saying things like "If you think I won't kick you in the cornea..." or "I'm about to punch your pooper WIDE OPEN!"
Another classic is one I saw on a post on here many moons ago: "I'm gonna pee your pants!"

3 Reply

f__kyeahhamburg · 4 years ago

I'll tickle your lungs.

2 Reply

purplepumpkin · 4 years ago

Ok, I wanted y'all to know I just read "I will tear your digestive system and wear it as a scarf".

3 Reply

inspectora · 4 years ago

I will fill out magazine subscriptions in your name.

3 Reply

buttscarleton · 4 years ago

I will share your search history

2 Reply

iccarus · 4 years ago

i'll hug you until it gets awkward, but then not leg go

xvarnah · 4 years ago

So here we are
In no man's land
Do I give you a hug
Or just shake your hand?
I go for the embrace, so warm and pleasing
You try to pull away, but I keep on squeezing
You try to pass by, but we bump and sway
Thanks for the dance, I'll be on my way

iccarus · 4 years ago

i'll get an erection too when it gets awkward

xvarnah · 4 years ago

You assume that's not part of the plan

3 Reply

I will kick your butt so hard your vertebrae will come out 1 by 1 like a Pez dispenser

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