It's so cold my beard is stuck to my email address

Well I mean I could imagine that happening if it was freezing and you went for a loving hug with your house

Daww. Please send them a screenshot of this.

Sounds uncomfy?

Lol me neither, please record yourself

Wait you have two? That's illegal

Willfree is a timelord confirmed.
Along with all the others who posted the double heart thing, apparently predictive text likes that one.

@TIMEBENDER25 you have rival

Our battles will be legendary

Are you and @willfree the same person?

Perhaps

spahreP

*breaks the mirror*

Ah the wonders of nature. Congrats!

Perfect embodiment of
"On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.”
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Look @demryn, you're not alone!

I'm sorry :(

Maybe she spoops around to check if you're doing ok? <3

I sure hope not. She was a piece of shit. Like, I may have hated her, but she didn't deserve to die though.

Imma go ahead and guess that's not related to the cold :D

Are you having a baby like me and my house?

Ooh I didn't see that one. It's so cold my life is stuck to my house and the other two are the most important people in the world who are sharing the same birthday.

So one of you is having a double birthday party and the other is having... birth

Poor girl can't go outside to get herself some fatty food

Pretty accurate

Your first...what?
Maybe you should've allowed your predictive text to add a noun :D

Ouch

"As you once did for the vacuous Rom, grant us eyes, grant us eyes. Plant eyes on our brains, to cleanse our beastly idiocy."